x2molly2amped
Greenlighter
Wow, just... wow. I stumbled upon this website today and I have kinda just been lost in it on and off all day reading anything and everything.
Me?? Well, I'm severely bi-polar. I really hate the prescribed medications for it. I thoroughly enjoy being manic. My cycling goes days at a time. And if I could just trust myself to make it through alive or, what I consider to be worse, seriously physically injured, the two maybe three really dark scary days a month of the down side of bi-polar, I wouldn't take the meds ever again. But alas, I have proved time and time again that I cannot. So I take those evil little zombie pills that make me feel dead inside and out. I mean, when I'm off the meds, I have the depressive episodes every couple days and then manic, back and fourth, but then every month, there is the one depressive episode that is indescribable...misery, pain, just plain troubling all around.
So on top of all that... I'm addicted to loads of things, all uppers (even adrenaline rushes). Because uppers are what keep that super severe depressive episode away. I am trying my hardest currently to quit it all and live the sober life. I mean, I'm 32 for crying out loud, time to grow up I guess and stop doing uppers and going out dancing and whatnot LOL.
Quitting isn't going so well this week though. I've had a total of 3 hours of sleep in the last 80 hours. Honestly, I'm just kinda scared to come down even though I haven't been struggling with that other times I've come down from being like this, but it will forever scare me. But I know sleep will inevitably come.
Recently started taking a whole mess of supplements to see what changes I can try to make for myself legally... and that won't hurt my brain (and cause me to have blood running out of my ears everyday. Yeah, that was really happening to me for about a week straight before I finally decided to get help.).
Anyways, I know I could really go on and on about me and my ridiculously, nuts, unbelievable, I shouldn't be alive life's story, but I'll stop unless requested for more.
If you are still reading, thanks.
Glad I found this site. It's already been extremely informative on many issues.
Me?? Well, I'm severely bi-polar. I really hate the prescribed medications for it. I thoroughly enjoy being manic. My cycling goes days at a time. And if I could just trust myself to make it through alive or, what I consider to be worse, seriously physically injured, the two maybe three really dark scary days a month of the down side of bi-polar, I wouldn't take the meds ever again. But alas, I have proved time and time again that I cannot. So I take those evil little zombie pills that make me feel dead inside and out. I mean, when I'm off the meds, I have the depressive episodes every couple days and then manic, back and fourth, but then every month, there is the one depressive episode that is indescribable...misery, pain, just plain troubling all around.
So on top of all that... I'm addicted to loads of things, all uppers (even adrenaline rushes). Because uppers are what keep that super severe depressive episode away. I am trying my hardest currently to quit it all and live the sober life. I mean, I'm 32 for crying out loud, time to grow up I guess and stop doing uppers and going out dancing and whatnot LOL.
Quitting isn't going so well this week though. I've had a total of 3 hours of sleep in the last 80 hours. Honestly, I'm just kinda scared to come down even though I haven't been struggling with that other times I've come down from being like this, but it will forever scare me. But I know sleep will inevitably come.
Recently started taking a whole mess of supplements to see what changes I can try to make for myself legally... and that won't hurt my brain (and cause me to have blood running out of my ears everyday. Yeah, that was really happening to me for about a week straight before I finally decided to get help.).
Anyways, I know I could really go on and on about me and my ridiculously, nuts, unbelievable, I shouldn't be alive life's story, but I'll stop unless requested for more.
If you are still reading, thanks.
Glad I found this site. It's already been extremely informative on many issues.

