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Very New Here, But Wanna Say 'Sup

x2molly2amped

x2molly2amped

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 23, 2012
Messages
27
Location
S.Berwick, ME
Wow, just... wow. I stumbled upon this website today and I have kinda just been lost in it on and off all day reading anything and everything.

Me?? Well, I'm severely bi-polar. I really hate the prescribed medications for it. I thoroughly enjoy being manic. My cycling goes days at a time. And if I could just trust myself to make it through alive or, what I consider to be worse, seriously physically injured, the two maybe three really dark scary days a month of the down side of bi-polar, I wouldn't take the meds ever again. But alas, I have proved time and time again that I cannot. So I take those evil little zombie pills that make me feel dead inside and out. I mean, when I'm off the meds, I have the depressive episodes every couple days and then manic, back and fourth, but then every month, there is the one depressive episode that is indescribable...misery, pain, just plain troubling all around.

So on top of all that... I'm addicted to loads of things, all uppers (even adrenaline rushes). Because uppers are what keep that super severe depressive episode away. I am trying my hardest currently to quit it all and live the sober life. I mean, I'm 32 for crying out loud, time to grow up I guess and stop doing uppers and going out dancing and whatnot LOL.

Quitting isn't going so well this week though. I've had a total of 3 hours of sleep in the last 80 hours. Honestly, I'm just kinda scared to come down even though I haven't been struggling with that other times I've come down from being like this, but it will forever scare me. But I know sleep will inevitably come.

Recently started taking a whole mess of supplements to see what changes I can try to make for myself legally... and that won't hurt my brain (and cause me to have blood running out of my ears everyday. Yeah, that was really happening to me for about a week straight before I finally decided to get help.).

Anyways, I know I could really go on and on about me and my ridiculously, nuts, unbelievable, I shouldn't be alive life's story, but I'll stop unless requested for more.
If you are still reading, thanks. :)

Glad I found this site. It's already been extremely informative on many issues.
 
I ran your IP address and found it was connected to your city's police department. I don't know what your intentions are here at bluelight, but we do not appreciate law enforcement snooping around. I'm going to go ahead and permanently ban your account, due to my suspicion about your story's legitimacy.
 
Hi there x2molly, welcome to the site :). Have you checked out out The Dark Side section? There is a lot of information and support regarding addiction and mental disorders.

Law enforcement uses Bluelights information often. The information is free on the web and is open and available to anyone who wishes to use it. I don't know who you think you are animalpee in regards to ban threats against new users. Last time I checked you had the word Bluelighter under your name, not some superior title where you could hand out such threats. ;)
 
Yeah, you have to have real special abilities to run someone's IP address. I have family that works for the government actually.
My story is legit. I have no reason to lie, make anything up, or even exaggerate in a forum such as this. Sad, but true. It is actually a nice release for me to be able to come to a place like this and not have to hide anything about myself.
Thank you for the referral to the Dark Side section. I will definitely check that out.
 
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"Lmao just messing around, I figured it was worth a shot..."

animalpee, You just proved by doing what you did that you are on here making things up. I am not.
 
Welcome to bluelight! I hope you enjoy this place, I'm pretty much like god around here, as you'll soon figure out. Just try not to let my vast knowledge of everything make you feel inferior. :)
 
Like god, huh? Interesting. I looked at your profile to try and learn more, but you don't really have anything filled out. Care to share a thing or two about yourself that would attest to your "vast knowledge of everything"?
 
x2molly2amped said:
Like god, huh? Interesting. I looked at your profile to try and learn more, but you don't really have anything filled out. Care to share a thing or two about yourself that would attest to your "vast knowledge of everything"?
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Don't be condescending to me man, I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND! Just kidding dude, you didnt think i was serious did you???
 
animalpee, if you are going to contribute to NMI and help welcome new members with us then you're going to need an attitude adjustment. We're here to help new members, not trick them and make fun of them. Let them get out into the forum and into the right sections for practical jokes. We're here to help & guide.
 
It was a friendly joke, piss off.

An attitude adjustment? It's not like I told him we didnt want him here, or to find a new forum. I was joking around, I didn't think anybody would take it offensive. I apologize if it rubbed you the wrong way, but I never had the intention.
 
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animalpee said:
It was a friendly joke, piss off.

An attitude adjustment? It's not like I told him we didnt want him here, or to find a new forum. I was joking around, I didn't think anybody would take it offensive. I apologize if it rubbed you the wrong way, but I never had the intention.
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If you were a new user and someone accused you of being a cop and threatened to ban your account I don't think you would appreciate it. I'm not sure what kind of ego trip you're running on. We don't joke like that in NMI. You can find other forums to mess around in. Here is not the place.
 
stardust.hero said:
If you were a new user and someone accused you of being a cop and threatened to ban your account I don't think you would appreciate it. I'm not sure what kind of ego trip you're running on. We don't joke like that in NMI. You can find other forums to mess around in. Here is not the place.
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Well, my apologies, I didnt realize this section was so serious, I thought it would be more layed back.

And its not an ego trip, I was just playing with the guy. I didn't even think he would believe me, just breaking the ice I guess.

I really dont understand though, why you all are so pissed off at me?
 
Someone in recovery doesn't want to be played with like this.

I'm not trying to get on your case or anything, just some friendly advice. I can tell you probably were just playing around and what not, but it's important to remember that sometimes other people don't share your sense of humor. I have to remember this myself; I've told jokes and had people literally stare at me like this:
11.gif
... and because of that, I try to be mindful of what I'm saying to people. :)

Welcome molly! I hope you enjoy our community. %)
 
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