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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

Very bad E trip.....help?

PurpleKush1

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
1,030
Location
Where the skys always grey
HI everyone, i recently had a very bad experience with E, even though ive taken both e pills and mdma capsules at least 50 times in my lifetime, and having binged on (_)molly(_) for 10 days back to back when i was 17 yearls old, now im 19. Substances used : weed, hash, alcohol,mda,mdma,lsd,mushrooms,pcp,ketamine,dxm,2c-b,2c-i.cocaine,freebase coke and crack,methamphetamine,amphetamine,oxycodone,hydrocodone,codeine,morphine,heroin,alprazolam and diazepam. Anywas here is the trip report

woke up at 10:00 am, feeling kinda hangover from heroin and xanax the day before.
10:15 smoke a joint an leave to an interview.
12 Im back, ate white motorolla (the logo was inpressed and note outpressed)
12:15 smoked a joint of fine ganja
12:30 smoked a cig, i still only feel the effects of the weed, but notice a subtle change in sound perception.
12:35 rolling another joint
12:45 going to my room after smoking, i start to feel it. I sat down to light a cig, and put some State of trance and now i could feel it, very euphoric come-up.
12:50 Start of the problems, the come up was still going and going, i felt like i was going explode, it was more intense then triple dropping 100 mg mdma capsules. And the pill i had in no way would fit more than 0.25 g.
12:55 i Was really getting uncorformtable, i went to the bathroom. I felt like i had no legs, and was walking like somebody who had too much too drink.
1pm-2pm : i was sweating my ass off, I NEVER sweated like that in my life, to give you an idea, im a guy with pretty long hair, which i shampooed the morning when i woke up, after 15 mins it was all greasy and stuck to my head. There was a pool of sweat around me. I kept having these waves of panic, like i definitly felt a mdxx susbtance, but there would be a wave of something else that would come in every2 minutes and make me panic, i was sitting on my toilet drinking water and pissing out almost instantly, sweating, and holding on to a zanax 2 mg bar... I really wanted to take it to make it stop but something was teelling me not to do it. My pupils were enormous, music sounded completly different, and i couldnt talk at all.
2-2 30 Pm. i was floored lol, lying on my bathroom floor i was a little bit tripping i just felt good looking around me.
2:30-5pm I put on the orb blue room on my computer (if you dont know it check it out, its an amazing song) and i was now feeling extremely cold, i would cover myself then get too hot, like this for 2hours and half. Mentally i was confused and felt retarded if that makes sense.
5pm-rest of the day, i smoked weed and drank beer until i passed at like 2 in the morning, feeling like a burn in my head, and i wasnt able to hold a train of thogh nor have an inteligernt conversation.
Next day i woke up i at 2 bars directly andd didnt really experience a comedown.

I nedd help here what the fuck happened, i rember i once at 11 blue euros (medium dose mdma) in 8 hours and the come down was more bearable than the HIGH from this pill. Now im fucked icant smoke weed anymore, im on antipsychotics (decapine and olanzapine), the next 2 weeks after that experience, were hell everytime i would smoke i felt fucked up and had these hot cold waves and sense of terror come back. My guesss is it was like mdma + piperazine, mdma +dxm or mdma + pma. There was mdma in that pill i know it...
ALso this was on wednseday, friday the week before, i ate the same roll but started with half a tab and then parachuted another half, because i had snorted heroin not so long before. I rolled for a 3-4 hours after the second parachute, no ill effects, and slept like a baby
 
maybe the weeds just catching up with u man. It is a strong drug in it's own sense, and i simply can't handle it anymore - it sends me down the wrong paths, especially if mixed with mdma. Mdma + weed = guaranteed psych out for me
 
It sounds like you just come up really hard?

If you are sweating that much you should try putting the shower on cold and holding your head under it :)
 
It sounds like you just come up really hard?

If you are sweating that much you should try putting the shower on cold and holding your head under it :)
dude no offense but i know what coming up feels like, take the sweatist time you had on e and multply it by 10 and you will understand what i mean. Im experienced with mdma, and there was another substance coming in waves that would me fell crazy on top of the euphoria of the mdma. i really think dxm + mdma, never before a pill left me so fucked i needed antipsychotics and would freakt out after a puff of weed. im serious i used to smoke gram blunts like 10 times a day alone to the face, and now i tke a puff of a jint and its panic attack city
 
sounds like dxm cut to me. I sweated profusely on that combination and had a huge body load. was not pleasant. I was literally in my boxers standing in front of the AC watching sweat run down my body.
 
not deffinitely man, just speculation.

These threads (what did I take) are usually lot allowed here on bluelight I am afraid. Unless you test your shit no one will know I am afraid.
 
i dont want a pill id i just dont understand, i just want thias stupid ass feeling to go away. i consider myself very experienced e user, im used to eating pills in the double digits you feel me? for example 10 mdma rolls and 5 ice pills (meth pills in canada, has gatorade ice logo on it) in what 15-20 hours and i never felt so fucked up. especially one pill?
 
Well maybe your body is just telling you to take a break from E. You seem to want to make sure we're aware of how experienced you are, a nice break couldn't hurt though. Good luck to you
 
If you have anything left from the batch send it in to get tested or get a test kit. Nothing is more reassuring than the facts. A trip report about an unidentified chemical isn't super useful.
 
actually somebody took 3 of those and was fucked up but not to that point.... yes i want to make sure your aware about my experiences, not dicksizing but just i think this information is useful. i aint proud at all, the opposite i might say. And no i dont have anything left :S. I KNOW there was mdxx but + something i dont know but even pcp + mdma was more fun than that shit. i also took the same roll 6 days before, but half then the other half because i had a few lines of heroin in the morning and never did e with hero in my system, but i actually felt good the first time i tried that rooll.
 
12:45 going to my room after smoking, i start to feel it. I sat down to light a cig, and put some State of trance and now i could feel it, very euphoric come-up.
12:50 Start of the problems,
You already figured it out. As soon as you put on 'State of Trance' things started to go bad. Moral - don't listen to Armin van Buuren.
 
I'd say its the weed. I'd been smoking every day for 5 years and maybe it just caught up with me but i had a similar freak out. sweats, panik etc. I'd never had a problem with any other drug, but after that i developed something like Depersonalization disorder (never saw any one about it so can be sure) stopped everything for 3 years. weed= silent killer.
thanks, interesting read although not the most informative trip report.
 
I'd say its the weed. I'd been smoking every day for 5 years and maybe it just caught up with me but i had a similar freak out. sweats, panik etc. I'd never had a problem with any other drug, but after that i developed something like Depersonalization disorder (never saw any one about it so can be sure) stopped everything for 3 years. weed= silent killer.
thanks, interesting read although not the most informative trip report.

thanks for the input i defintly depersonalisation when i smoke too... did it go away?

tragiclemming : i appreciate the sense fo humor lol :P
 
^^ I don't mean to make less of your experience and this post is just a general share and not a shot and the above two posters but I just dont like those two words thrown around having experienced it for real. I hope you never do.

Id rather OD painfully on any drug then the experience of no emotion at all and not caring a fuck if everybody you love was tortured and died right in front of you. After that i realized that our humanity itself is so closely tied to our ability to feel emotion. Without it we are nothing, just beasts.

There may be differing levels of extremity, but full on depersonalization/derealization, like from extreme MDMA abuse is a probably the worst experience anybody can have.

An anti emotional torture of pure hell never-mind the 8 years of anxiety, ptsd and paranoia to follow. I dont think i could ever explain the experience to anybody as no language has the words to get close to being able to and weed certinally could never cause anything close.

Something i know is that a terrible experience with a drug, your worst ever, obviously feels like its worst thing that could ever happen. Until you experience something even worse. Thats the only way i can try explain the difference between what people might think depersonalization/derealization feels like based on an explanation or description of what it is compared to the real thing. I dont blame anybody who might think they experienced it but perhaps did not.

Its why i dont fuck with Seratonin anymore. I even stay on managed SSRI's partly so that they will block any stupid decision to take and possibly abuse these types of drugs again like MDMA. After that experience i never touched MDMA again, which i love, and its been 8 years.

Just my experience and i definitely feel that others can use safely, i just trust myself personally to be able to avoid this again with occasion use. Just please be careful with MDMA and Serotonin related substances. It can fuck your life up faster then opiates or meth or anything if its not respected.
 
^^ I don't mean to make less of your experience and this post is just a general share and not a shot and the above two posters but I just dont like those two words thrown around having experienced it for real. I hope you never do.

Id rather OD painfully on any drug then the experience of no emotion at all and not caring a fuck if everybody you love was tortured and died right in front of you. After that i realized that our humanity itself is so closely tied to our ability to feel emotion. Without it we are nothing, just beasts.

There may be differing levels of extremity, but full on depersonalization/derealization, like from extreme MDMA abuse is a probably the worst experience anybody can have.

An anti emotional torture of pure hell never-mind the 8 years of anxiety, ptsd and paranoia to follow. I dont think i could ever explain the experience to anybody as no language has the words to get close to being able to and weed certinally could never cause anything close.

Something i know is that a terrible experience with a drug, your worst ever, obviously feels like its worst thing that could ever happen. Until you experience something even worse. Thats the only way i can try explain the difference between what people might think depersonalization/derealization feels like based on an explanation or description of what it is compared to the real thing. I dont blame anybody who might think they experienced it but perhaps did not.

Its why i dont fuck with Seratonin anymore. I even stay on managed SSRI's partly so that they will block any stupid decision to take and possibly abuse these types of drugs again like MDMA. After that experience i never touched MDMA again, which i love, and its been 8 years.

Just my experience and i definitely feel that others can use safely, i just trust myself personally to be able to avoid this again with occasion use. Just please be careful with MDMA and Serotonin related substances. It can fuck your life up faster then opiates or meth or anything if its not respected.

Hey man, thanks for the useful input. Actually i had stopped mdma use, because in the autumn of 2010 i binged one week straight everyday on molly (mdma caps), and before that i ate e like 3 times a week for 2 months like fucking candy sometimes reaching the double digits. I did feel really fucked up after but not as much depersonalisation, a little bit, but more anger and insomnia, at the same time during that period after the e abuse i stayed high on coke and ice errday so i thuink i didnt really see what it can to on the depersonalisation plan. I experience exactly what you said, i dont feel love or joy or euphoria over som,ething anym,ore, the only things i can feel is rage and sadness, i look around and feel im in a movie...... how did you get back to normal?
 
^^ Yeah what you mention might be the start of the full depersonalization/derealization or some less intense related experience. The reason why i say this is because you mention feeling rage and sadness which are still emotions so its less extreme. If i felt that it would have been so so much better.

But no emotion at all is different and hard to explain, people cant imagine what thats like. Bad depression and sadness or fear is far far better. No emotion is alien, inhuman, evil, it makes you doubt your word, your own humanity, hate yourself, hate how you looked at family without any feeling. Well at least after when you come out since when you are in you are just roboting through the motions, doing what your supposed to do.

But yeah not claiming to know what you experienced, just an opinion on the possible difference based on your explanation. Im sure this could be different for everybody, i dont really know.
 
^^ Yeah what you mention might be the start of the full depersonalization/derealization or some less intense related experience. The reason why i say this is because you mention feeling rage and sadness which are still emotions so its less extreme. If i felt that it would have been so so much better.

But no emotion at all is different and hard to explain, people cant imagine what thats like. Bad depression and sadness or fear is far far better. No emotion is alien, inhuman, evil, it makes you doubt your word, your own humanity, hate yourself, hate how you looked at family without any feeling. Well at least after when you come out since when you are in you are just roboting through the motions, doing what your supposed to do.

But yeah not claiming to know what you experienced, just an opinion on the possible difference based on your explanation. Im sure this could be different for everybody, i dont really know.

no problem man your posts are quite helpful, i do have this bold moments like you say but they are pretty minimal in compared to the feeling of anger and depression. Did you eventually recover?
 
Well i had this experience once after less then a year of fri sat mdma use in high doses. One weekend the depersonalization/derealization hit on the following Tuesday morning after hectic brain zaps on the Monday.

After that experience which lasted 2-3 days i stopped MDMA and never touched it again and a few months after stopping the crippiling anxiety, PTSD and paranoia hit and tortured me for the next 8 years. So i was pretty much fucked after that.

So if you are getting similar experiences you need to reduces doses and reduce sessions to at least once every 3-4 weeks only or you risk significant life altering mental health issues including the three issues i mentioned above.
Trust me you dont want to spend almost every night for many years staring out of your window for hours convinced people are coming to kill you in your sleep. It gets a bit old after a while.

MDMA can be used safely but i was an idiot and also its not possible to use it like most other drugs. Stims every weekend is fine but MDMA every fri and sat broke my brain for 8 years. Im only feeling healed now within the last year or so.
 
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