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Vent/Rant Thread vs I'll tell you how I really feel (Triggering Content)
- Thread starter neversickanymore
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uuugh work is driving me crazy ATM, 2 years in and the role hasn't worked out anything like I expected. I seem to be covering about 4 roles at once with no chance of doing any of them properly.
I feel like I'm just chasing my tail and at the same time getting grief for things not getting delivered as they should.
Lost my rag on a conference call this afternoon and tore into someone, the guy is a pain in the rear but still it's not a good look and now I feel bad about it.
Time to start putting some feelers out and look for something else, I'm going to update my LinkedIn profile later and send out a couple of Emails, no job is can be worth getting this stressed over but at the same time I've got some hefty monthly overheads to cover![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
and here endeth my whinge for today
I feel like I'm just chasing my tail and at the same time getting grief for things not getting delivered as they should.
Lost my rag on a conference call this afternoon and tore into someone, the guy is a pain in the rear but still it's not a good look and now I feel bad about it.
Time to start putting some feelers out and look for something else, I'm going to update my LinkedIn profile later and send out a couple of Emails, no job is can be worth getting this stressed over but at the same time I've got some hefty monthly overheads to cover
and here endeth my whinge for today
hydroazuanacaine
bluelighter
- Joined
- May 17, 2007
- Messages
- 8,493
i'm having some work troubles as well. i've also decided it's time to start looking.
i've been acting crazy lately. i just deleted paragraphs of madness. stress and anxiety are leaving my life empty and painful. i gotta pull it together. i am downing. in many aspects, but at work definitely. i'm so behind. i'm starting to think everyone is. i feel like i'm getting too far behind. i always do. i just got what is essentially their employee of the quarter award last week, and i think i've been there just a few weeks short of a year. this is something i'd blow off, except who the past three recipients have been. i think they're telling me, "please don't fuck us and leave." i have no idea how connected to reality i am.
i just talked to the psychologist my psych recommended, and she can see me not this saturday but next. i actually called to schedule an appointment a couple months ago, but then i never followed though. i know you're not supposed to wait until crisis mode. almost two weeks from now. that's a long time. i could tell my psych i'm having an emergency or even more calmly ask to move our appointment up, but i really wanna see the psychologist first or i'm just gonna wanna see the psych after and now we're really wasting money. whatever. i feel ok now.
i've been acting crazy lately. i just deleted paragraphs of madness. stress and anxiety are leaving my life empty and painful. i gotta pull it together. i am downing. in many aspects, but at work definitely. i'm so behind. i'm starting to think everyone is. i feel like i'm getting too far behind. i always do. i just got what is essentially their employee of the quarter award last week, and i think i've been there just a few weeks short of a year. this is something i'd blow off, except who the past three recipients have been. i think they're telling me, "please don't fuck us and leave." i have no idea how connected to reality i am.
i just talked to the psychologist my psych recommended, and she can see me not this saturday but next. i actually called to schedule an appointment a couple months ago, but then i never followed though. i know you're not supposed to wait until crisis mode. almost two weeks from now. that's a long time. i could tell my psych i'm having an emergency or even more calmly ask to move our appointment up, but i really wanna see the psychologist first or i'm just gonna wanna see the psych after and now we're really wasting money. whatever. i feel ok now.
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^^
Oddly similar, I got the whole 'employee of the month' thing last month, but that now looks like it was more about buttering me up to drop the news that I'd get no more resource this year. And even after assurances that expectations of how much I can deliver would be adjusted to a more reasonable level it's got worse.
I've been here before and stuck it out too long and the results were not pretty but the stress of seeking a new job isn't that appealing either, what I do is quite specialised so keeping applications and enquires quiet is tricky, I got head hunted for this job.
I'm guessing your not in the UK by the way you talk about psychs etc. our state health care is on it's knees and I've had no ongoing help with my mental health issues, despite my doctor consistently acknowledging my ongoign depression. Maybe I should look into getting private treatment, it's what I'm having to do for another physical issue anyway.
Best of luck with the job hunting
Oddly similar, I got the whole 'employee of the month' thing last month, but that now looks like it was more about buttering me up to drop the news that I'd get no more resource this year. And even after assurances that expectations of how much I can deliver would be adjusted to a more reasonable level it's got worse.
I've been here before and stuck it out too long and the results were not pretty but the stress of seeking a new job isn't that appealing either, what I do is quite specialised so keeping applications and enquires quiet is tricky, I got head hunted for this job.
I'm guessing your not in the UK by the way you talk about psychs etc. our state health care is on it's knees and I've had no ongoing help with my mental health issues, despite my doctor consistently acknowledging my ongoign depression. Maybe I should look into getting private treatment, it's what I'm having to do for another physical issue anyway.
Best of luck with the job hunting
Yeah I've been feeling crazy too, I'm chalking it up to this long-never-ending-drawn-out-winter-cabin-fever-fuck-everything. Decided it was a good idea to get a script for some benzos to help me deal with stress my body was dealing with from kidney stone surgery in early December. Nevermind my stupid brain convincing me it was a the right thing to do considering I was almost 5 years off a 8 year benzo habit.
First month flew thru a 90 count 2mg Ativan script in a mere 10 days, lucky I didn't get a DUI. It's pothole season up here so excess swerving is the norm. Very minor residual w/d feelings after that run. This month same thing, couldn't make those fuckers last more than 12 days. Again surprised I didn't get a DUI for drinking errr blacking out ontop of um but my girlfriend of 4 years did decide to finally break up with me after failing to meet her running ultimatum of "quit drinking or I am going to leave you" she has been hanging over my head since early summer.
Today is day 5 since running out, finally got more than 2 hours of sleep last night and feel pretty good today. Although I just feel a stress building up in my neck and shoulders as I type this. Not a very fun last few days as I think my brain is slowly remembering that enjoys to feel sedated 24/7. Spinning thoughts and vertigo when I try to sleep at night. Have 4 more refills left on this script and I know I can't trust myself to let those pills dissolve under my tongue like a reasonable person.
Decided again for the umpteenth time this week I am going to stop drinking and smoking pot. Should of done that last week when I was flush on pills but my brain seems to like to contort me into the stupidest ideas. A beer sounds really really good right now. Not working and have sooo much time on my on hands is starting to contribute to my deterioration of my mind. Which is starting to resemble the grey salt washed blah scene that my environment delivers to me everyfucking day, argh! Grilling steak for dinner though and will probably post a fucking a picture of on the internet, wtf is happening to my life?! My niece just face timed me to find out my favorite flavor of ice cream for her homework. I think I'm gonna go to an AA meeting tonight.
4 paragraphs about Poor poor pitiful me!!!
First month flew thru a 90 count 2mg Ativan script in a mere 10 days, lucky I didn't get a DUI. It's pothole season up here so excess swerving is the norm. Very minor residual w/d feelings after that run. This month same thing, couldn't make those fuckers last more than 12 days. Again surprised I didn't get a DUI for drinking errr blacking out ontop of um but my girlfriend of 4 years did decide to finally break up with me after failing to meet her running ultimatum of "quit drinking or I am going to leave you" she has been hanging over my head since early summer.
Today is day 5 since running out, finally got more than 2 hours of sleep last night and feel pretty good today. Although I just feel a stress building up in my neck and shoulders as I type this. Not a very fun last few days as I think my brain is slowly remembering that enjoys to feel sedated 24/7. Spinning thoughts and vertigo when I try to sleep at night. Have 4 more refills left on this script and I know I can't trust myself to let those pills dissolve under my tongue like a reasonable person.
Decided again for the umpteenth time this week I am going to stop drinking and smoking pot. Should of done that last week when I was flush on pills but my brain seems to like to contort me into the stupidest ideas. A beer sounds really really good right now. Not working and have sooo much time on my on hands is starting to contribute to my deterioration of my mind. Which is starting to resemble the grey salt washed blah scene that my environment delivers to me everyfucking day, argh! Grilling steak for dinner though and will probably post a fucking a picture of on the internet, wtf is happening to my life?! My niece just face timed me to find out my favorite flavor of ice cream for her homework. I think I'm gonna go to an AA meeting tonight.
4 paragraphs about Poor poor pitiful me!!!
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herbavore
Bluelight Crew
^Hey, I enjoyed reading it! Especially in the middle of everything your niece face-timing you for your favorite flavor of ice cream. LOL!
Maya
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2013
- Messages
- 7,310
We are in the same boat! Today I wasn't able to eat proper lunch then had to stay for another hour for over time. There's sooo much work on my plate that I don't know when ill get done plus our owner is bugging us for monthly sales which I don't know when I have time to do.uuugh work is driving me crazy ATM, 2 years in and the role hasn't worked out anything like I expected. I seem to be covering about 4 roles at once with no chance of doing any of them properly.
I feel like I'm just chasing my tail and at the same time getting grief for things not getting delivered as they should.
Lost my rag on a conference call this afternoon and tore into someone, the guy is a pain in the rear but still it's not a good look and now I feel bad about it.
Time to start putting some feelers out and look for something else, I'm going to update my LinkedIn profile later and send out a couple of Emails, no job is can be worth getting this stressed over but at the same time I've got some hefty monthly overheads to cover
and here endeth my whinge for today
hydroazuanacaine
bluelighter
- Joined
- May 17, 2007
- Messages
- 8,493
had almost the exact same thought. i found the AA meeting comment to be the highlight.^Hey, I enjoyed reading it! Especially in the middle of everything your niece face-timing you for your favorite flavor of ice cream. LOL!
quality rant.
damn. work is stressful, huh?
best of luck to you too, Allein. that's rough about access to mental health care. i can't imagine. though i really just need the scripts. i've had little success with psychologist and usually forgo. i've got a good relationship with this psych and i'm getting desperate, so i'll try whatever he suggests. other than disagreeable changes to my medication. specifically the addition of an ssri. which he doesn't push (too much) about. i will be requesting my valium script about a week early -- well even more, because of the weekend -- but that's a week after a script with 3 or 4 refills. so it's really only coming up a day or so short each month. if he notices, he will be accurate in taking it as a sign i'm not doing well. he noticed that i've been running through my PRN ativan at an increased rate. he gave extra refills in response. but eventually he will get worried. he'll want to change medications or officially increase the valium dose. he doesn't like ativan. i feel like there is always a tension when it comes to benzos. but starting therapy should be enough.
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xstayfadedx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2011
- Messages
- 20,559
Well the cops are looking to talk to me I guess about my friend's overdose/death that happened over a month ago >.> fml. One more thing I have to deal with. They had my friend who was there that night come down to the station yesterday and I guess they asked him about me... if he had my number, but my friend told him that he didn't know it (he has it written down at home and couldn't remember it). They said they got ahold of our friend's facebook messages and shit.. also was questioning if our friend was suicidal or not. Blah, so I don't know if I should call them or wait for them to contact me. I obviously have nothing to hide, but ugh I just need a fucking break. One fucking thing after the next.
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I've been on so many ADs over the last few years, in general i don't tolerate them well. They don't generally prescribe benzos in the UK for anything more then a couple of weeks and anyway I've gotten into really deep water with illicit ones in the past
I'm taking a tricyclic (amiltriptyline) ATM, I tolerate it well but I don't think i get a great deal of benefit but after a few years on Venlafaxine it's an overall improvement.
Best to deal with 'the feds' sooner rather than later, I hope it's not too stressful
Same as, totally unrealistic about what is achievable, acknowledging the resource issue in one breath and piling on more work and shorter deadlines with the next. I refuse to run myself into the ground like I have done in the past, my health and wellbeing is more important than their 'shizzle'. I've just updated my LinkedIn profile and I'm going to make some inquiries with trusted acquaintances, last time I was looking for nearly 2 years, almost landed 2 roles but ended up getting headhunted out of the blue, I'm going to be more proactive this time rather than wait until it's making me ill.
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
God damn I hate this shit. Challenging fucking day already.
alright last night we surpassed the most days below 0 F I think ever on record and this cold ass shit supposed to continue through mid march.. fuck this and fuck and where is your global warming Al Gore..
RedLeader
Bluelight Crew
I'm not being dramatic when I say this, but do you have a lawyer? I'm not saying that you did anything wrong at all, but it's just never a good idea to speak with the police alone no matter what the situation is. Little white lies (and it looks like your friend told one already) piss off cops often more than actual crimes. The police typically are not your friend, they don't want to keep you safe, they don't give a shit about you. Us drug users are statistics, entertainment value, etc to them. I'm not going to speculate what they might try and pull, and they might actually be good cops just trying to get the record straight. But when dealing with the police, assume the worst and let them speak with you on your own terms. Know your rights, or stand behind someone who does.
The police also don't like dealing with lawyers, so often this threat alone is enough to get them to back off if it really is a small matter.
T. Calderone
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2010
- Messages
- 8,982
Stayfaded, I was thinking like RedLeader said and it's not that I'm paranoid. Just cops sometimes play games and I have trust issues with them for that reason.
I'm glad I'm not the only person here sick of the cold weather. It didn't bother me too much the past couple months but these sub-zero temperatures are pissing me off. This place really sucks. The roads are full of pot holes and people drive like maniacs.
I'm glad I'm not the only person here sick of the cold weather. It didn't bother me too much the past couple months but these sub-zero temperatures are pissing me off. This place really sucks. The roads are full of pot holes and people drive like maniacs.
annachronism
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2014
- Messages
- 65
Bone tired in every imaginable sense. Wanting to throw my bf out but concerned about the financial and emotional repercussions. He had his sister over at our apartment mind you the place looks like Beirut on a bad day because I've been to drug sick to do any cleaning. His sister tells him he his miserable because all is energy goes into supporting me so i dont have to leave the country. We split rent and bills right down in the middle and I wanted to go home because I missed my family and wanted to go to school (I'm European so school would've been an option while here it's not because I work two jobs just to stay afloat) he begged me to stay so I did. Now he is unhappy and apparently it's my fault because he has to "support" me. I also got served divorce papers from the ex that were 4 years in the making...which in my head is fine...but there's something about getting divorced that just gives you the blues. I have a fat sack of kratom in my kitchen which keeps telling me...just feel good for tonight you need it after the day you had.
I just want to go all rip van winkle on reality
I just want to go all rip van winkle on reality
HdoubleODeezy
Bluelighter
(This is my first time in TDS)
I feel Lonely. Angry, Irritable, Sad, I have a bad temper and have somewhat learned to manage it, in my mind i think about what im going to do before i do it and decide if the reprocussions are worth it (i think fast).. I feel as if life is just fucking with me and im wasting my time going in a circle.
Since moving to a new state in 07 I have lost all of my friends due to distance, lack of contact (them being too busy with the freinds near by and the new ones who took my place once i left, me and my 2 bestfriends were unseperable since elementary school.), and most of all my drug use that I'm working on ridding myself of, slowly but surely (well not surely but HOPEFULLY lol).
I lost my job and am living with my grandparents, normally people love being with their grandparents... when they're children, when you haven't seen them in a while, or even just for holidays.
But mine have been in my life for the entire thing, my mom was adopted by them, my dad never in my life.. it has been me, my mom who hates me because of my teen years and drug use, and my grandparents who tried to raise me right but failed due to the generation gap. They pay my bills and my way through my "life". They drive me CRAZY though, they always lie, say they never said something that they did infact say (as in insults to me as a worthless waste of a person, etc.)
They are getting older, it hurts to see them struggle to do easy tasks, but will not accept help from me. When something goes wrong it is always my fault, whether it had something to do with me or not. I do snap back sometimes and yell and get pissed off and hit a wall or something to vent my frustration out. They do everything for me financially. So I deal with it but I'm at the point where I can't take it anymore. It's been a loooong time to keep all the shit I have bottled up inside in me and I feel the "bottle" won't hold anymore so lately i've been having more of an attitude than usual because I refuse to hold in my emotions anymore.
The reason I need to live with them is and isn't simple at the same time.
I'm disabled, mentally.. bipolar as first then it was getting worse and I started becoming more and more paranoid so I was finally diagnosed to schizoaffective disorder, anxiety, depression... shit like that.
The gov't denies me disability and always says that it won't last more than a year... I've been diagnosed with all that for 12 years now. How the hell is that LESS than a year?
I had a job while on my DOC opiates.. then decided to try to better myself and went on Suboxone to start the cycle of being a "normal" working person.
Well, after years working there I was finally let go because of how I acted on and off. Great one day, a mess the next (didn't help that I would have to work with customers); BUT i was always nice to them, it was just the other employees who didn't like my mood swings. I also was one of the hardest workers there, I had gotten promotions and raises and everything.
After losing that job I could no longer support myself. (Hence why i've applied for disabilty multiple times, and now rely upon my grandparents to support me).
That's embarrasing enough due to the fact im 25 years old and have 2 children, who live with their mothers side of the family but I see them a lot. They are the only "sunshine" in my life currently. When I spend time with them it's like all the other bullshit is put aside and disappears. When they go home though the old mentality of mine comes back.
Their mother who I love to death (she doesn't feel the same towards me anymore), were together since freshman year in highschool we had our oldest child when we were only 15. We did the best we could to raise him, but we needed help from our families too.
Fast forward a few years and our relationship had started to fall apart slowly, abusive, cheating, lying etc. Then she became pregnant again, this time it was a girl. So that is how my children came about. I love them more than anything and would do anything for them.
Her and I finally ended our "relationship" if you would even still call it that by the way things were going.
I tried to kill myself with a knife, cut my wrists and thoat. She tried to stop me and I cut her on the leg. I went to jail.
Got out, Have been seeing a psychiatrist, finished a class called Violence No More (just so everyone knows, if you ever have anger or violent problems, don't think that class is a joke.. try it, I learned a LOT from it) plus finished all my probation and shit like that.
The story I just wrote is kinda scrambled in a timeline since but I hope you can understand or get a hint about what im trying to vent about.
Now... all these years later my kids mother is a crack addict and a prostitute. (I personally have never done crack, actually never even seen it in real life lol.. no idea how she picked up that habit, when I was with her we did downers). She's in jail now.
She will be out in a few months. Before jail she had a baby with her "pimp". (yes it does bother me that she would have a child with someone other than me, but i've changed in the way I react to situations)
I want her back in my life at least on talking terms when she gets out and is sober.. I want to make life as good as possible for her, our children, her other child and myself.
I would even accept the other child as my own if givin the opportunity (the baby is a different race than me, im white, the mothers white, my two kids are white, and the new baby isn't) that doesn't bother me. My life isn't about me anymore. Yes i need to better myself, but I would rather focus on the kids being happy. Even if that means me living in everyday hell.
I'm a changed person and I don't know if she would beleive me, or still be too scared to take a chance in letting me prove it to her.
I'm not just lonely as in alone. It's been 7 years that ive been single and with no friends, the no friends part is my fault. The no girl part is a choice, I want no one but her, I don't want life anymore confusing for the kids or myself by finding someone new.
So here I am venting.. scattered thoughts trying to just let the world know im not a bad person, im not a good person, im just misunderstood and have more going on in my mind that people around me are aware of and they wonder why i have an "attitude".
I go back to my psych next month and I start seeing a therapist to help deal with these issues and some that I don't want to bore you with, since I'm thinking this is a long enough post already.
Any advice on my life by my fellow BLers who have maybe been in a similar situation?
How did you/ or how are you working on these types of issues?
Any response would be much appreciated.
Thanks for reading if you did :D
Sorry if my story was too long or if it should go in another forum besides TDS.. I just feel im in "The Dark Side" of my life ATM. lol.
I didn't go into much detail about the drug addiction parts because before I fix those for good I want to make sure I have a good life set up ahead of me first so I kinda have a "goal" to reach.
I feel Lonely. Angry, Irritable, Sad, I have a bad temper and have somewhat learned to manage it, in my mind i think about what im going to do before i do it and decide if the reprocussions are worth it (i think fast).. I feel as if life is just fucking with me and im wasting my time going in a circle.
Since moving to a new state in 07 I have lost all of my friends due to distance, lack of contact (them being too busy with the freinds near by and the new ones who took my place once i left, me and my 2 bestfriends were unseperable since elementary school.), and most of all my drug use that I'm working on ridding myself of, slowly but surely (well not surely but HOPEFULLY lol).
I lost my job and am living with my grandparents, normally people love being with their grandparents... when they're children, when you haven't seen them in a while, or even just for holidays.
But mine have been in my life for the entire thing, my mom was adopted by them, my dad never in my life.. it has been me, my mom who hates me because of my teen years and drug use, and my grandparents who tried to raise me right but failed due to the generation gap. They pay my bills and my way through my "life". They drive me CRAZY though, they always lie, say they never said something that they did infact say (as in insults to me as a worthless waste of a person, etc.)
They are getting older, it hurts to see them struggle to do easy tasks, but will not accept help from me. When something goes wrong it is always my fault, whether it had something to do with me or not. I do snap back sometimes and yell and get pissed off and hit a wall or something to vent my frustration out. They do everything for me financially. So I deal with it but I'm at the point where I can't take it anymore. It's been a loooong time to keep all the shit I have bottled up inside in me and I feel the "bottle" won't hold anymore so lately i've been having more of an attitude than usual because I refuse to hold in my emotions anymore.
The reason I need to live with them is and isn't simple at the same time.
I'm disabled, mentally.. bipolar as first then it was getting worse and I started becoming more and more paranoid so I was finally diagnosed to schizoaffective disorder, anxiety, depression... shit like that.
The gov't denies me disability and always says that it won't last more than a year... I've been diagnosed with all that for 12 years now. How the hell is that LESS than a year?
I had a job while on my DOC opiates.. then decided to try to better myself and went on Suboxone to start the cycle of being a "normal" working person.
Well, after years working there I was finally let go because of how I acted on and off. Great one day, a mess the next (didn't help that I would have to work with customers); BUT i was always nice to them, it was just the other employees who didn't like my mood swings. I also was one of the hardest workers there, I had gotten promotions and raises and everything.
After losing that job I could no longer support myself. (Hence why i've applied for disabilty multiple times, and now rely upon my grandparents to support me).
That's embarrasing enough due to the fact im 25 years old and have 2 children, who live with their mothers side of the family but I see them a lot. They are the only "sunshine" in my life currently. When I spend time with them it's like all the other bullshit is put aside and disappears. When they go home though the old mentality of mine comes back.
Their mother who I love to death (she doesn't feel the same towards me anymore), were together since freshman year in highschool we had our oldest child when we were only 15. We did the best we could to raise him, but we needed help from our families too.
Fast forward a few years and our relationship had started to fall apart slowly, abusive, cheating, lying etc. Then she became pregnant again, this time it was a girl. So that is how my children came about. I love them more than anything and would do anything for them.
Her and I finally ended our "relationship" if you would even still call it that by the way things were going.
I tried to kill myself with a knife, cut my wrists and thoat. She tried to stop me and I cut her on the leg. I went to jail.
Got out, Have been seeing a psychiatrist, finished a class called Violence No More (just so everyone knows, if you ever have anger or violent problems, don't think that class is a joke.. try it, I learned a LOT from it) plus finished all my probation and shit like that.
The story I just wrote is kinda scrambled in a timeline since but I hope you can understand or get a hint about what im trying to vent about.
Now... all these years later my kids mother is a crack addict and a prostitute. (I personally have never done crack, actually never even seen it in real life lol.. no idea how she picked up that habit, when I was with her we did downers). She's in jail now.
She will be out in a few months. Before jail she had a baby with her "pimp". (yes it does bother me that she would have a child with someone other than me, but i've changed in the way I react to situations)
I want her back in my life at least on talking terms when she gets out and is sober.. I want to make life as good as possible for her, our children, her other child and myself.
I would even accept the other child as my own if givin the opportunity (the baby is a different race than me, im white, the mothers white, my two kids are white, and the new baby isn't) that doesn't bother me. My life isn't about me anymore. Yes i need to better myself, but I would rather focus on the kids being happy. Even if that means me living in everyday hell.
I'm a changed person and I don't know if she would beleive me, or still be too scared to take a chance in letting me prove it to her.
I'm not just lonely as in alone. It's been 7 years that ive been single and with no friends, the no friends part is my fault. The no girl part is a choice, I want no one but her, I don't want life anymore confusing for the kids or myself by finding someone new.
So here I am venting.. scattered thoughts trying to just let the world know im not a bad person, im not a good person, im just misunderstood and have more going on in my mind that people around me are aware of and they wonder why i have an "attitude".
I go back to my psych next month and I start seeing a therapist to help deal with these issues and some that I don't want to bore you with, since I'm thinking this is a long enough post already.
Any advice on my life by my fellow BLers who have maybe been in a similar situation?
How did you/ or how are you working on these types of issues?
Any response would be much appreciated.
Thanks for reading if you did :D
Sorry if my story was too long or if it should go in another forum besides TDS.. I just feel im in "The Dark Side" of my life ATM. lol.
I didn't go into much detail about the drug addiction parts because before I fix those for good I want to make sure I have a good life set up ahead of me first so I kinda have a "goal" to reach.
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That's deep HdoubleODeezy.
Lots of stuff going on.
Seems like you need to tackle your drug use issue. And get an advocate to help you with your disability issue.
I don't know if working a basic labor job is something that you would consider.
Either way physical activity could be a good outlet.
IMO (others may disagree) trying to get back into a relationship with your ex may be a bad idea. Seems like she has changed and you two have gone your separate ways for 7 years. Support your child, yes, but don't have your heart set on this person.
Lots of stuff going on.
Seems like you need to tackle your drug use issue. And get an advocate to help you with your disability issue.
I don't know if working a basic labor job is something that you would consider.
Either way physical activity could be a good outlet.
IMO (others may disagree) trying to get back into a relationship with your ex may be a bad idea. Seems like she has changed and you two have gone your separate ways for 7 years. Support your child, yes, but don't have your heart set on this person.
ad lib
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2013
- Messages
- 4,317
I have been so fucking pissed at everyone lately for NO FUCKING REASON.
Everything is annoying me. My boyfriend sending me smiley faces, work, me thinking my bf is being distant, school, family. I seriously feel like I'm about to fucking flip.
Maybe it's cause I'm off my birth control pills? I need to renew my script by seeing my gyno in march. But fuck, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm trying not to bite anyone's head off but it's so hard.
Everything is annoying me. My boyfriend sending me smiley faces, work, me thinking my bf is being distant, school, family. I seriously feel like I'm about to fucking flip.
Maybe it's cause I'm off my birth control pills? I need to renew my script by seeing my gyno in march. But fuck, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm trying not to bite anyone's head off but it's so hard.
Maya
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2013
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- 7,310
^Smiley faces? Yeah I'd be annoyed too tbh, does he not want to chat with you or something and just makes the reply short?
Work has been really stressful for me but the son's boss assured that changes are gonna be made and he is willing to listen to us which his dad is lacking when it comes to managing our dept. Thank god he is there because I would rather deal with him than his dad!
Maybe for the birth control your body is just going through some type of withdrawal? I know for sure that my body hates birth control pills so I don't use them.
Work has been really stressful for me but the son's boss assured that changes are gonna be made and he is willing to listen to us which his dad is lacking when it comes to managing our dept. Thank god he is there because I would rather deal with him than his dad!
Maybe for the birth control your body is just going through some type of withdrawal? I know for sure that my body hates birth control pills so I don't use them.
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