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Vent/Rant Thread vs I'll tell you how I really feel (Triggering Content)

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It wasn't the using part that got me though

it was how much I wanted to comfort someone and couldn't, and watching someone I cared for suffer was intolerable

I think part of me getting through this is feeling and processing these emotions without numbing myself to complete paresthesia with drugs. That's what I'm doing today and it isn't fucking fun.

Please PM me I would love to talk to someone 1 on 1 about this.
 
I'm always here for you too Captain... Please PM if you ever need to. I've been having troubling dreams myself for the last two months. <3
 
yeah,i echo the two above posters,you can always pm me if somethings up.
i haven't followed,but it seems like u had a terrifying dream?….
it's probably all in your head.
i don't know,i don't really dream that bad anymore.
but i do take suboxone.
 
Despite having a good full time job all my bills end up eating up 75% of my income. I cant even afford an apartment here. But this is where my job is, family is, and all my meager possessions. Its pissing me off. I should be living somewhere cheaper or much better in the next month or two. Until then its just problem drinking and self-loathing.
 
RedLeader said:
^ How much are you spending on alcohol? I know it is much, much easier said than done, but this is money you could redirect toward bettering your situation.
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Less than 100 a month. It wouldn't change much to quit drinking unfortunately. But I am gonna start taking my bipolar meds (currently Seroquel + Celexa) again. And hopefully that will help me live more stable with less\no drink and drugs. Its just not worth it trying to fight the mood swings I've given in and I'm just gonna take the meds and deal with the side effects.
 
Ya, that sounds like a good idea. Stability can make coping with unfortunate things a bit easier.

I know that when I used to drink daily, I would end up spending like 5 hours at night drinking at a computer (or tv). It was like as soon as I started drinking, objectives to better my life went out the window and it was all about entertainment. Not that I suggest a workaholic outlook, that is crippling too. But drinking a lot isn't good for the strategy of trying to align your passions with your channels of income. You get so complacent with settling for what you already have, not what you really want.
 
WTF I was at the mall yesterday and I went into the restroom to wash my hands. And these black women where like "ewww I smell a white bitch!" And in no means am I racist at all I was like "Nah Hun it must be you." The girls got pissed but it would have been trashy to fight in a public bathroom haha. So I just walked out and proceeded to call them all bitches. I was PMS'ing that day.

I'm sick and tired of jealous bitches argggg!!!!
 
gr33n3y3z said:
WTF I was at the mall yesterday and I went into the restroom to wash my hands. And these black women where like "ewww I smell a white bitch!" And in no means am I racist at all I was like "Nah Hun it must be you." The girls got pissed but it would have been trashy to fight in a public bathroom haha. So I just walked out and proceeded to call them all bitches. I was PMS'ing that day.

I'm sick and tired of jealous bitches argggg!!!!
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ROFLZ

RedLeader said:
Oh man, listen to this...

I meant to stop by somewhere today and drop off a paper job application (I didn't research anything about them, as I am turning in many applications these days). So I went in and handed it off, but was immediately asked to sit down and meet with two people. Impromptu interview and whatnot, totally caught me off-guard. Anyway, I blew it out of the water. Both people seemed to really like me, I had a good few minutes with my handling of the English language. They told me that I should come back early tomorrow to meet with the big guy. Anyway, I found out after this interview that this company actually recently acquired an old company I used to work for. I had absolutely no clue that this had happened since I left. But the problem is that I was forced to resign from that company due to some bad decisions I made on the job. It was ugly. The good news is that I actually wrote on the application that I had resigned, but the bad new is that I'm now worried that if my name is passed to the corporate office of the acquiring company for some type of pre-employment screening, there will be a resounding HELL NO because of my bad standing with the acquired company. This sucks because this job would complement my current job with regard to schedule, and it's also very close by. It would be the break I need to gain some real financial traction.
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When will you hear back? We need updates. I somehow managed to get a "HELL NO" once, but it was a blessing in disguise. I was surprised and then pissed, and went straight to the next job opening on my list - a much better job that was kind of a 'reach', walked-in, and somehow landed it.
 
gr33n3y3z said:
WTF I was at the mall yesterday and I went into the restroom to wash my hands. And these black women where like "ewww I smell a white bitch!" And in no means am I racist at all I was like "Nah Hun it must be you." The girls got pissed but it would have been trashy to fight in a public bathroom haha. So I just walked out and proceeded to call them all bitches. I was PMS'ing that day.

I'm sick and tired of jealous bitches argggg!!!!
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Haha. Oh so throwing down in a public bathroom isn't lady like?
 
^ Nope I'm a mother, jail isn't my thing. I know my strength and they had no chance in hell.
 
^Oh yea someone starts swinging on me, it's fair game. And id feel bad for that bitch that gets it. Plus I'm not a violent person but I do know how to fight.
 
^ CH you're a good person. I feel this way a lot too and weary of sucking it up, just overwhelming. You're not alone man.
 
Women? fuckkkkkkkkkkkk If i was still taking amphets i would win but i've quit my brain could come up with heaps of stuff.
Females brains hurt my brain. why? I Dunno.
My brain doesnt work anymore :( ha
I wish I had a female brain for a day to see how they work
ah well..can't live without em
 
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My daughter's mother behaves like an animal, and has been a foul human-being particularly since I've become disabled. Her one redeeming quality is that she does a good job and behaves responsibly with my daughter. Unfortunately she is also manipulative and has kept my daughter and I apart.

Her current hijinks involves denying me communication with my daughter until I have landed her into the gifted and talented program at her school. :|

While she's behaving like a savage, I can't get through to her that when I do hear back from the staff on the issue, my daughter may have to take a battery of tests.
-Which we COULD be preparing for after school (and some father daughter communication learning time wouldn't hurt either)............................


this shit isn't even near the top of my fucked-up life problems at the moment, it just fucking adds to everything and it's an emotional triggering issue :(:X
 
^that sounds really manipulative and petty, corazon. I don't blame you being frustrated. It never ceases to amaze me how parents can war with each other through their kids. Keep fighting for your rights as a Dad. I have seen so many single moms of my students complain about Dads not being involved when it is the moms that are preventing them! Just plain fucked up IMO.
 
herbavore said:
^that sounds really manipulative and petty, corazon. I don't blame you being frustrated. It never ceases to amaze me how parents can war with each other through their kids. Keep fighting for your rights as a Dad. I have seen so many single moms of my students complain about Dads not being involved when it is the moms that are preventing them! Just plain fucked up IMO.
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Exactly! I feel sorry for the kids tbh, specially if they see or are aware of the fighting going on.
 
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