^yep because feelingd will still be there and their actions at that time will definitely affect your emotions.
When I broke up with my four year relationship after a week I went on his fb account and found out he was already dating someone else and it made me emotional which ended up in me goin out on binge drinking that night tsk tsk.
That happened with my ex n we had a child together. He was a mean, selfish, heartless piece of ***. Best to cut ties after a relationship until both parties are truly over it because it can get messy.
It took me too years to get over my ex n the grief for the life I could have had n never will. I'll realising, through therapy, that my angry, depression n addiction are due to grieving the loss of a life I can not have.
I spent nine months thinking I was going to have this family, with this little life growing inside me, making plans, on the waiting list for a house : all the lovely holidays we were going to have, how we were going to bring up our little girl, going to scans , getting a 4d scan n watching her moving inside me. All those plans n thoughts.
To be honest it was a dream as he was emotionally abusive , always talking to "pretty girls" n I knew cause I 'm ugly n he was good looking he could have anyone n I'd end up alone plus he used his asperger's to his advantage.
But anyway that wasn't to be n I ended up a single mother: full of anger n depression n guilt. Guilt because I shouldn't have felt anger because I had a beautiful little girl n some people could never have that, because I couldn't truly bond with her for the first year I did everything I should n Loved her but I didn't have the connection I have now with her. Anger because everyone else seemed to have a partner n a "Dad" for their child , someone to play with them, drive us on holiday n shout "first one to see the sea gets an ice cream," like my used to with us; because I could not get a baby sitter n go for a night out now n then so my friends stopped bothering with me because I no longer went out getting drunk.
Pressured because of the shoulds. Felt I should feel a certain way, should like certain things etc or I was a rubbish mother. For instance making snowmen n playing in the snow - I hate it but because everyone else does it with their children I felt, still think I 'm a ribbish mam n they all think so, because I won't play in the snow (I find it extremely bitter cold n seems to cut through me n thank God we aint got any YET because we just can't handle it in this country n I need my suboxone script).
Anyway I've wrote a novel here (sorry). I don't usually mention my daughter on social networking sites as she isn 't old enough to give her permission for me to do that n prefer not to with all the weirdos that come online. Please don't argue with me on that - I met my ex off the internet - BIG MISTAKE.
Moral of the story: when it comes to an ex please don't waste time over them when you can be happy. Abby, you have a chance to be really happy here n although your ex is hurting you need to do what's right for YOU! If you blocked him / cut contact you are not only helping you but also helping him. Because keeping in contact with you is not going to help him get over you - it's going to give him false hope say if you're both talking in a civilised way if he's still inlove with you he may interpret it as "we're getting on really well maybe she still likes me n in time can give it another go!" For him to get over you he needs to be away from you n vice versa n so you will be HELPING him by cutting ties.
You're responsible for YOU n only YOU! If he chooses to do something silly then that's on his shoulders - not yours. Threatening to harm himself for you to go back with him is a form of emotional abuse n not a sign of someone who loves you. Like you say you were together for four years n he hurt you. He needs to learn that there are consequences to his actions n live with it. You deserve happiness n it's been lovely hearing you talk of your new fella , asking what things you could both do together n so forth. You say you've other stuff going on so grab what happiness you can
Evey xxxx
