Hey everyone, thanks for the kind caring concern!
I'll be honest Evey, I'm really out of it, dazed and confused. There's a thick fog concentrated in the right hand side of my head. I think I've had a valid concussion. I did recall smacking my head on the steering wheel, and my hand is fairly bruised/cut up as a consequence of the fact that I extended my arm and basically forcibly palmed the steering wheel in an instinctive attempt to keep myself from going through the windshield. Luckily I had my seatbelt on, otherwise I would have went straight through that flimsy plate glass exterior and done an enormous amount of damage.
This morning was pure chaos. When I first posted here I was just in acceptant shock, but I realized the gravity of what happened this afternoon. I'm incredibly lucky. After crashing the car I got out, lit a cigarette and started wandering around the road. A neighbor passed me and asked if I was okay. I said I was. He told me to call the cops, which I did. Bad call. Bad, bad call. Immediately after calling the cops and reporting the wreck, I realized I still had 12 30 mg oxycodone tablets in my car. I panicked and took all of them. I also took a bottle of wine I've had laying in my backseat for a month now and threw it into the woods. I can reasonably tolerate 180-200 mg of oxy at this stage, but 12 30s really threw me over the edge. The cops showed up, I gave them my keys. They seemed very suspicious and searched my car- they diligently looked through my center console/glove compartment and just scanned my back/front seat. When they frisked me I voluntarily emptied my pockets and they looked through all of my cigarette packages. I'm very lucky I took the pills, otherwise I would have been arrested instead of given a ride home. That experience was awful- I'm 6'4 and though very skinny, the backseats of cop cars have not become any more luxurious, spacious or accommodating since the last time I had the pleasure of traveling as a vehicular ward of the state. So I'm doing my best not to vomit, not nod into oblivion in the back of this patrol car and I'm so cramped and unnaturally compacted that I can't even move around or secretly itch myself and it was very uncomfortable at the time. But eventually the tow truck arrived, the cops gave me back my license/papers and let me go at the bottom of my driveway. The pills have begun to wear off, and my head is filled with fog. I don't feel like myself. I don't like it. But I've had many concussions before, and I simply need to rest for two or three days, recuperate, and I'll be good as new. Thanks again everyone, it means a lot
So I probably won't be using the computer very much for the next 48-72 hours, so if you don't see me around, I'm fine, just sleeping/resting!
I'll be honest Evey, I'm really out of it, dazed and confused. There's a thick fog concentrated in the right hand side of my head. I think I've had a valid concussion. I did recall smacking my head on the steering wheel, and my hand is fairly bruised/cut up as a consequence of the fact that I extended my arm and basically forcibly palmed the steering wheel in an instinctive attempt to keep myself from going through the windshield. Luckily I had my seatbelt on, otherwise I would have went straight through that flimsy plate glass exterior and done an enormous amount of damage.
This morning was pure chaos. When I first posted here I was just in acceptant shock, but I realized the gravity of what happened this afternoon. I'm incredibly lucky. After crashing the car I got out, lit a cigarette and started wandering around the road. A neighbor passed me and asked if I was okay. I said I was. He told me to call the cops, which I did. Bad call. Bad, bad call. Immediately after calling the cops and reporting the wreck, I realized I still had 12 30 mg oxycodone tablets in my car. I panicked and took all of them. I also took a bottle of wine I've had laying in my backseat for a month now and threw it into the woods. I can reasonably tolerate 180-200 mg of oxy at this stage, but 12 30s really threw me over the edge. The cops showed up, I gave them my keys. They seemed very suspicious and searched my car- they diligently looked through my center console/glove compartment and just scanned my back/front seat. When they frisked me I voluntarily emptied my pockets and they looked through all of my cigarette packages. I'm very lucky I took the pills, otherwise I would have been arrested instead of given a ride home. That experience was awful- I'm 6'4 and though very skinny, the backseats of cop cars have not become any more luxurious, spacious or accommodating since the last time I had the pleasure of traveling as a vehicular ward of the state. So I'm doing my best not to vomit, not nod into oblivion in the back of this patrol car and I'm so cramped and unnaturally compacted that I can't even move around or secretly itch myself and it was very uncomfortable at the time. But eventually the tow truck arrived, the cops gave me back my license/papers and let me go at the bottom of my driveway. The pills have begun to wear off, and my head is filled with fog. I don't feel like myself. I don't like it. But I've had many concussions before, and I simply need to rest for two or three days, recuperate, and I'll be good as new. Thanks again everyone, it means a lot
So I probably won't be using the computer very much for the next 48-72 hours, so if you don't see me around, I'm fine, just sleeping/resting!
Feel very alone. My local parents have always been there for me when I need, but without that I just dont know. My drug addiction has been off the rails the past few weeks... its the only way to escape, but of course it just makes things worse in the longterm.
