Vent/Rant Thread vs 3 (Triggering Content)

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Aw n3o I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers tumor :( I had 2 friends go through that a couple of years ago. Does he know if it's operable or not?

Your boyfriend didn't give you time to explain that you were using it for legitimate reasons? That's a bit harsh...
 
Thanks BRoI <3
Yeah, my brother's tumour is operable, it's just a huge shock. He's so young. He's actually a doctor so he's feeling reeeeasonably calm about it, but still of course he's in shock. He's facing potential permanent loss of hearing, because it's a tumour of the auditory nerve. It's quite large though (hence his anger, because it has been there for a long time).
My boyfriend eventually picked up and we talked it all through. Sometimes he just has emotional reactions and needs a few moments to think before discussing something like this.
I just......I really cannot lose this guy. He is so amazing. We dated for 3 years, about 10 years ago. The only reason I broke up with him then was because he wanted to get married back then and I was only 19 so I freaked out and left him. But he's been there for me through and through, all these years. We finally got back together about 4 months ago and he is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot lose him :(
 
Oh, Rosie. I'm so sorry, hun. :( That's such a stressful situation to be in. I'm glad that your boyfriend came around and realized that you need him right now. Both he and your brother sound like great guys. Hang in there and know that your Bluelight family is always here for you. <3
 
N3o, sending so much <3<3<3 to you, your brother and your family.
Operable or not, a tumor is a tumor.
I'll never understand why such things need to exist in this life, it's so shit.
Be strong for your brother through this, i know how close you guys are, i'm sure your support will be greatly helpful <3
 
Why did I ever think that was a good idea? Fuck, this was stupid. Can't see straight, everything's fuzzing over...hopefully it'll all be okay tomorrow...
 
Gnight reita ♡♡♡ I hope u start to feel better soon
 
*sighs*

I just want to die soon. No wait real soon, the sooner the better.

I know that was an unexpected post from me.
 
greeneyes sweety whats wrong???? Oh dont you ever do that never ever ever!!!!
 
okay, so I'm deep in my addiction and want help. Tried to make an appointment with a sub doc, and after us calling back and forth several times(I work two jobs, seven days a week) the motherfucker told me that he didn't want to see me because I want to dictate my recovery. He actually told me that I had the NERVE to call and ask for help, that because I cant get the time needed off of work that my support system sucks, that I really don't want help and to find a doctor that I could manipulate, that he wasn't the one. The only thing I asked for was being able to come in on Saturdays only...I understand that you have to be willing to do whatever necessary but I CANNOT be in a clinic for three or four hours a day during the week. I HAVE TO WORK.....especially to cover the expense of his visit. I don't WANT my boss to know that I'm going through this, FUCK. I understand that you need to take the medicine there and they need to see how you react, I understand that you have to follow procedure, I'm not fighting that. All I asked for was to do it on Saturdays because that's when I waitress and I can make up a lame excuse to get out of work on that day.

*deep breath* okay....god that's been eating at me since yesterday. Its a big area, I'll find a doctor that can work with me on Saturdays. No big deal....
 
Aww man yeah that is really disheartening, especially when you're actively taking steps to get help. I totally understand your frustration. Keep on trying though, okay? Only YOU know if you're really dedicated to getting clean, some people like the guy you spoke to on the phone cannot be convinced of your intentions to stick to the program. I guess they need to be super strict though huh, imagine how many hundreds of times they've let patients dictate how their plan is going to be, only to get burned by those who aren't committed to being sober and take the program for granted. Kinda makes it harder for people like you who are trying to get help though!

But seriously, keep trying, you'll find the right program for you.
 
greeneyes sweety whats wrong???? Oh dont you ever do that never ever ever!!!!

Thanks Hun<3,

I was just venting my inner demons. I hate feeling this way but, I know that I would never go through with it. I have way too much to live for.

Sorry that my post was upsetting because it's not like me to say shit like that.

But I'm doing well, and nobody ever has to worry about me leaving this world through suicide. {My death better be natural bitchez;) )

It's just life for me was not how I pictured it, I know life isn't how most people pictured it.

But we all have to live another day to see what awaits us. It can be good it can be bad, but we have to get through those bad times to see the good parts of life.

But suicide is never the way out, never.

Love you girls & Guys.<3
 
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