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Vent/Rant Thread vs 3 (Triggering Content)

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Stayfaded whatever it is I hope it turns out well love <3

Evey happy bday to ya! You always have tds to celebrate hehe send us some cake!!

Floatingaround that sucks I had been there too about 6 years ago or so... I lost my job and found out my bf was a lying sob so had to break up with him and found out that while we were together he was cheating on me. One of the toughest part of my life I had to experience. But hey, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger right?

I found a job after a month, it sucked that I was penniless at that time having to lose my job and be in debt but I was able to survive it, so can you. <3
 
i fucking hate my life and i hate all the doctors that have been "taking care" of my dad they don't know shit and now w/o knowing whats actually wrong they want to do back surgery a surgery with a greater than 50% chance of making things worse for him AHHHHH!!!!!! i'll fucking kill every doctor that goes near him with that bullshit unless it's literally the last option
 
What did the doctor diagnose your dad with mrflowers? I remember you said before he was in lots of pain.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Awh floatingaround I'm very sorry this is happening to you.

It is hard to break ties with someone you like/love n it's hard losing a job. I can empathise but them happening together is tough.

If you have no other way of earning money take this other job in the meantime. Calculate the cost of travelling to n from there n maybe see if you could hire a room somewhere for five days. I'm assuming it's for five days Monday to Friday? Correct me if I'm wrong. If it's not practical then travel there until you find something better. Employers are more likely to hire someone who is in a job than someone who is not in a job. Plus you travelling to and from for two hours will show your employers.

Now about this happening to you once a year. Maybe that is due to the stress of the holidays??? Could you go for counselling to work through why why this happens in order to stop this happening over n over again?
Of course I can't tell you what to do n this is only advice. I really hope that things work out for you soon n that you can stop going through this hurt.

Evey
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I really appreciate that advice, thank you. Happy birthday too!.

I ended up not traveling there. It would cost me and arm and a leg to sort any type of accommodation to be able to work in that area. I'm just going to have to look for something local again.

On a not so bright note. I got on a bunch of clonzaepams and valiums and have been on auto pilot for a few days. I'm getting stronger urges everyday to use meth aswell, looks promising over Xmas when I'll be getting some money off relatives.

It's Xmas eve here aswell. I wanna drink. Pretty barely, seems everyone else is. Just a red wine even..

It's 722pm in Sydney at the moment.
 
Thanks everyone that means a lot. Although this is the vent thread I think God intervened last night n I'm pleased. My brother bought me a 13% wine n I drunk most of it but started having most constipation n was on the floor crying n made myself go to bed. Thank god because 1, I ended up not drinking ALL of it n 2, I didn't end up coming on bluelight n losing all that I worked hard for so although it was aganising it was a blessing in disguise. Anyway I've bought something called dolcanox for the constipation so lets hope that helps. I really thought that was a hellish thing of the past. People may laugh but it's not nice at all. I think it may be the herbalife diet as I've only started having it since I've started that - need to drink more fluids.

Mrflowers sorry for what's happening.

Evey xxxx
 
If anyone's got some time I could really use someone to talk to privately :(
 
God damn neuropathy is driving me fairly insane. Actually its driving me to be extremely enraged. Hate it as in this state I need to hide myself away and stay sedulded from near everyone as i'm ready to blow up right now and with black out rage issuses that equates to bad times for me but also anyone around me. Usually have it under control but consistent high levels of pain will always trigger my rage and maybe a bit of a paradox but being needlessly enraged makes me even angrier, or maybe its the fact I let it get the better of me. :( That means Christmas/etc holed up. Currently have no chemicals or anything to diminish the pain. Muscles ache and some of them have been twicting/contracting for days on end now. Oh well soon enough I should find relief!

Hope everyone else is at least doing better than me! <3
 
It's Xmas eve here in Australia. It's 11.33 pm. I took some Valium about an hour ago. I've been lying in bed all day. Starting to become a bit depressed about what's coming up, I hate Xmas, and I hate dealing with all the bullshit that comes with it.

I think I'm about to get into the red wine and get myself plastered. I've been too lonely lately, I myself need someone to talk too.
 
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I'm a true fuck up. I finally got clean after about 10 years of using pills with my (now 2 years) ex. She was the love of my life.. and for 7 years she made me happy. although the end sucked for both. She ended it and got clean and a new guy. She doesnt talk to me. WHY?! Im a good guy. I dunno if she just feels guilty or if its easier for her to just forget me... I try every few months to drop a line. When it would get deep and I would message her saying how I actually miss her and a bit of true feeling, she would give a cold reply. I know its over... it has been even before it was official. But its been 2 years.. I still miss her. I've had many partners and gave a few girls a chance...but none come close. She was everything. Now that I've relapsed and trying to get clean again, all those old feelings of regret are torturing me. Anyway, thats my 2 cents.
 
GRRRRR I NEED TO FKN VENT!!!! Ffs i wish people would stop telling me how to go about my recovery like SERIOUSLY JUST FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!! Glad I've let that out as I am serious considering taking a long break. I thought BL was about accepting people not judging people n commenting about their doses of medication.
It makes me feel stupid, small, devalued.

I UNDERSTAND that we can't all agree n I don't expect people to agree but coming up to me saying I should not be on suboxone n I should not be on 12 mg. i've worked my fkn ass off to change my life around n to recovery from my addiction which was huge to me n HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK I FEEL WHEN I GET THIS BS "you shouldnt be on suboxone you were only on codeine". Just fuck off because I've had a gutful!!!!!!!
 
fuck the holidays and its never ending list of shit to do.. whats the fun in all this shit.. I mean i can see the enjoyment and purpose why do we have to go so damn all out that instead of making it better it sour and ruins it..
 
I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I couldn't wait til I got home to pass the time in my room alone.
 
neversickanymore said:
fuck the holidays and its never ending list of shit to do.. whats the fun in all this shit.. I mean i can see the enjoyment and purpose why do we have to go so damn all out that instead of making it better it sour and ruins it..
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I kinda agree NSA I'm here if you need to talk or vent. Think we all need a good vent today, eh.
You take care ok.
 
neversickanymore said:
fuck the holidays and its never ending list of shit to do.. whats the fun in all this shit.. I mean i can see the enjoyment and purpose why do we have to go so damn all out that instead of making it better it sour and ruins it..
Click to expand...

I'm with you on that one!

....I'm a huge fucking grinch =D
 
True, Evey lol. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Just one more day then it's over :D
 
Woke up this morning (Xmas morning) and I'm so depressed, sad and pissed off. I just wanna go out and use drugs, preferably a few bongs or a shot of meth.

I ended up emailing a girl I stopped talking to, yeh I fucking cracked.. I just hope she dosent reply. I really do.

I'm probably going to avoid my family's lunch today. I'm to anxious and not in the right mind. I haven't even got my mum a present nor does she know I'm out of work.

Fuck xmas
 
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