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Vent/Rant Thread 1 (POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING)

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I relapsed a couple months ago on speedballs (smoking) Am really upset about that..

been craving OCs..

I wish I would've never messed with the damn ups and downs. Something stuck with me for the rest of my life, even when I do I can hardly enjoy it

Hope thats a rant enough!
 
This threads coming at the right time...

I've been indefinitely suspended from my job, so as of now I have absolutely no source of income.

There's a gym policy that if you miss a certain amount of classes, even if you get a sub, you're supposed to be let go. I met that a while ago but my boss know me really well and has known (not well) for years before I got hired, and when I got hired I told him that I would have to take days off occasionally because I had just gotten out of treatment for anorexia (didn't mention the meth, partly because I was five or so month clean at the time and didn't plan on using again). So I've missed days but it's either been because I was trying to detox and get off this fucking drug or for medical reasons....

We talked about my missed days and he told me I should consider taking some time off because he was worried about my health, but he knows my financial situation and that that really wasn't an option... then this morning I got a call telling me not to come into work because I'm suspended. I called back but he was in classes and my co-worker/close friend told me it was because of me missing days.... he called me back and told me to come in this evening and speak to him. I went in and he told me it was out of his hands, that some of the other coaches had said they thought it was unfair I was missing days and having no penalties and that it was "disrupting the learning experience." He wouldn't tell me who these people were but I have a pretty good idea and they are not bitching about me because of the unfairness of me missing days but have hated me since the beginning because they SUCK at coaching and some kids transferred out of their classes or dropped them when me and another girl (friend on the phone) started working there :\

So all my classes have been taken over and I am not even allowed to use the gym to do private lessons so I'm going to lose the girls I do them with and I'm likely going to lose my job, they are going to "review" me and then I'll know, but I really don't have high hopes for this, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get fired, and even if I don't, I'm out of work for at least 2 weeks so I'm not going to be able to pay my rent this month, my car payment, my food bills, drugs, co-pays for medical visits, I'm completely fucked and in so much debt on my amex already and I can't talk to my father because he's just going to be pissed I didn't go to work, and nowhere's going to hire me after this because this will be the second time I've been fired.... for the same shit.... last time it was not going to work for six weeks after gaining ten pounds because I didn't leave the apartment AT ALL until I lost fifteen pounds.... I'm going to become homeless, I'm fucked fucked fucked and scared as shit.
 
^ wow, mia, that is the first time I read the details.

Is there any way that your boss might let you know ahead of time if the review will end badly and then you can just quit instead? Then maybe since he knows your issues he would be willing to give you a good recommendation anyway?
 
oh MIA!!!!!!

i feel your hurt. i know how much you loved coaching those kids!!!! it's just the general job situation these days.... it sucks and a lot of people are in similar boats. so many people are getting fired regardless of past absences or talent!

luckily, you are near SF, which (if you are truly to become homeless), is really a great place to be..... sooooo many places accept food stamps and there are a lot of shelters.

take a deep breath and just concentrate on the next step you need to make so you stay healthy and safe.

PM me if you want any more info on places/services in SF.


you will be fine honey!!!
 
thanks for the support guys <3

xxkcxx- he told me to come talk to him tomorrow in the afternoon, so I'm going to ask him then. I really can't get fired again if I ever hope to work at any gym in the SF area, and I've worked there for a while and moved up $ wise, position wise and been trained quite a bit so if I can't even use that as a reference I will have to start at the bottom again, since I don't use my previous job as one after getting fired....

I'm just really hoping that this works out and I just get a slap on the wrist and am suspended for a bit and can come back. I love my job, I love the kids I teach, and besides the couple people I'm pretty sure bitched about me I really like all my co-workers. And with the current job situation I'm worried I won't be able to find anything else and will just have to look for ANYTHING, which just makes me feel like shit because the only reason I justify not being a full-time college student is that being a gymnastics coach is what I want to do...

kittylazarus yeah I've been lucky to have a job throughout the whole recession... it's my fault this happened, I had good intentions of calling out but they've been pointless as I keep only being able to stop for a couple days.... I just hate how middle-school some people are and these guys that don't like me are in their forties... I don't know I wouldn't say anything if I was them, and like I said the reasons they don't like me have nothing to do with anything, just that I don't treat kids like shit and that I'm a woman... rant rant rant sorry 8)

Hopefully it will not come down to it but if it does I will be sure to PM <3
 
I GOT MY JOB BACK!!!

:D :D :D

I am so happy I can't even explain. These have been the worst/scariest 3 1/2 days of my life.

I went in today to talk to my boss and the other two people who own the gym/run it were there. I talked to him about my review and wondering if I should just quit, and he said he really wasn't sure how it was going to go. One of the other guys (above him position wise) overheard and was like "why don't we just have it now? she can sit in" to which I tried to smile and said OK but was completely terrified....

It lasted like an hour and basically they just talked about how if I'm going to miss a class I need to tell them way in advance, that the only classes they were peeved me missing were the ones I called out on the day of or the day before. They told me that if I am going to miss any more classes for the next six months I have to find a sub myself or I will be let go next time. And that I'm not allowed to begin working until Monday as I'm suspended until then...

Other than that it was mostly positive stuff... they said that think I'm a good coach and that they like my attitude when it comes to being trained/getting negative feedback, that I have good relationships with the kids that I teach... the only other negative things were that I have to learn how to talk to parents better (after my last altercation with a mom) and that I need to work on dealing with the older girls because I'm not assertive enough with them and seem to have some weird tension I need to work out...

So I think this was more to scare me and make the other people happy... when I was leaving the gym one of the guys was walking in and asked me what I was doing there, I told him "I just got my job back, isn't that great?!" and he didn't say anything, just looked pissed and stormed off 8)
 
YAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

oh, and i totally relate with having to better approach the parents of the kids i coach too. i tend to talk about the kids when they are still there, and they take my constructive criticism negatively.... sucks.
if you figure out any secret weapons throw them my way....


:) YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! :)
 
Good to hear Mia!! :)

Kitty- how have you been??

I don't have a rant really- I just have a complaint-

The guy who used to live in the house across the drive left his 3 kitties to roam the land while his friends sublet the house.The previous renter is supposed to be bringing food to feed the cats.
But it seems they have stopped feeding them. The kitties have always come over to get a bite to eat from us- but NOW they all are in a frenzy at our front door all the time.I don't mind feeding the kitties 'cause I have totally fallen for them but they deserve a home.They deserve to be loved.It infuriates me that he just left them here all winter......and has now basically abandoned them.
I called around and no shelter can promise me they won't be killed. :(
I just hate when people don't treat kitties right.
 
Not a big deal. But there's a guy who lives up the road on my street who has several dogs. We live out in the country in the mountains and some people let their dogs run. Which is generally fine. But this guy leaves his dogs outside all day until it's dark, and then lets them in... usually. I wonder why he even has dogs. He has this chocolate lab, who's the sweetest thing. Whenever I'm outside, he plays fetch with me and hangs out by my side. It's the sweetest dog!

But I have 2 cats, who are indoor cats. The problem is that every day at least once, this dog comes up to one of the doors (we have 2 sets of french doors... the front ones are not installed very solidly). He starts barking and throwing himself against the door so hard it shakes and looks like the door's going to break, and meanwhile my cats are going crazy, hissing and trying to attack the dog through the glass. I have to scream at the dog and chase him away. Sometimes this will go on for HOURS. I'm afraid that one day he'll break the door.. not only will my house be damaged then, but my cats will get out, and they'll get in a fight. I don't THINK the dog actually wants to hurt them, but they're threatened and they'll try to hurt him, and he'll fight back, and he's big. And what happens if I'm not home to chase him away? :\

It really annoys me because the guy never takes responsibility for his dogs. I don't know which house he lives in. I have never been able to run into him on the street and tell him about it... I've met him once but this was before it was a problem. I don't know why he has the dogs... he doesn't spend any time with them.
 
KittyLazarus said:
YAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

oh, and i totally relate with having to better approach the parents of the kids i coach too. i tend to talk about the kids when they are still there, and they take my constructive criticism negatively.... sucks.
if you figure out any secret weapons throw them my way....


:) YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! :)
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I usually just try and have as little to do with the parents as possible... I really don't like dealing with them. :\

My mom never really talked to my coach, she would just check in to see how I was doing and talk about expenses, etc. The parents that do that don't annoy me.

There are two kinds that I cannot stand. The ones that are SUPER involved and want to come watch their kid at every practice and be front row at every competition and are constantly asking me how their kid is doing annoy the hell out of me. If you seriously want to manage everything yourself then you should coach your kid yourself. I was SO happy my mom was never the equivelent of a gymnastics stage-mom, and it made me much more responsible and a better gymnast. I also can't stand the parents that come in and blame me for their kid not doing well-- no matter how good a coach you have if you do not work your ass off and practice you are not going to be good. Coaches do not have magic powers, and I definitely do not! 8)

After the last altercation where this mom bitched me out twice, I just didn't really respond and told my boss about it and from now on she hasn't come up to me and has just been dealing with him... I think that's the best way to go, mom's never really have any respect for me because everyone thinks I'm like sixteen years old-- I look super young. :p
 
Xorkoth said:
Not a big deal. But there's a guy who lives up the road on my street who has several dogs. We live out in the country in the mountains and some people let their dogs run. Which is generally fine. But this guy leaves his dogs outside all day until it's dark, and then lets them in... usually. I wonder why he even has dogs. He has this chocolate lab, who's the sweetest thing. Whenever I'm outside, he plays fetch with me and hangs out by my side. It's the sweetest dog!

But I have 2 cats, who are indoor cats. The problem is that every day at least once, this dog comes up to one of the doors (we have 2 sets of french doors... the front ones are not installed very solidly). He starts barking and throwing himself against the door so hard it shakes and looks like the door's going to break, and meanwhile my cats are going crazy, hissing and trying to attack the dog through the glass. I have to scream at the dog and chase him away. Sometimes this will go on for HOURS. I'm afraid that one day he'll break the door.. not only will my house be damaged then, but my cats will get out, and they'll get in a fight. I don't THINK the dog actually wants to hurt them, but they're threatened and they'll try to hurt him, and he'll fight back, and he's big. And what happens if I'm not home to chase him away? :\

It really annoys me because the guy never takes responsibility for his dogs. I don't know which house he lives in. I have never been able to run into him on the street and tell him about it... I've met him once but this was before it was a problem. I don't know why he has the dogs... he doesn't spend any time with them.
Click to expand...

ugh!! people!
I hate when people take on the responsibility of a pet and then decide they can't fully commit......
Commitment includes keeping your animal under control.......
If you can't care for them AT LEAST find a home where they will be loved- not left to starve and fend for themselves or booted out for the day while running wild...
 
Yeah, and the dog is so sweet and playful... just a big puppy really. When I yell and him and chase him away, he thinks I'm playing. The best tactic I even have is to run down around the corner out of sight of my house, find a big stick, and throw it as far as possible so that I can run back to my house and slip inside before the dog starts coming back with the stick. But then he ends up back around there anyway eventually... he does his rounds.

I would totally love the dog coming around to play every day if I didn't have cats.
 
My mother and I got in a HORRIBLE fight over her calling up my boyfriend and telling him things about me (as a means to control/manipulate me), because i won't have long conversations with her/hang out with her like we are best girlfriends.

...And all is well and my dad and I are best friends and she and I are OK.
 
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I ate too much pizza and wine last night. I feel like I gained 20 pounds overnight. What an icky feeling, but it was sooooo worth it.
 
The last few days I can't stop thinking about a few people who I really don't care for........
I usually keep my bad thoughts to myself but I have been so tempted to email them with whats on my mind....I don't want to b/c I don't want to come off like some nut job who is holding grudges- I just really dislike these people and it gets to me I never said my piece.I haven't talked to these people in months so its in the past- I wish I could just leave it there!
 
i droped my blackberry and now it won't turn on....

about 2 seconds before i dropped it, this guy sent me a text message saying "i have really fallen for you, blah blah"

i didn't get to read the whole thing.... i don't like him however

why is it always the wrong guys????

plus my life and all my numbers are on that phone
AH
 
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