• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Vent/Rant Thread 1 (POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING)

Status
Not open for further replies.
zombiesarepeaceful said:
I actually don't have anything to vent about today.....

Going back to my old job on day shift was for the best...the plant manager came up to me today and is like, "so I've been watching you and you crank out a serious amount of parts...and we need a quality inspector on night shift...would you be interested?"

Well FUCK YES. That would mean I'd get hired in and make more money, and only like 2% of temps that ever work there get hired in. So I must stand out somehow. What's funny is...I left night shift because of the dickhead new supervisor who said he was gonna fire all the temps and bring in people he knows. So I went to day shift. And now the new supervisor can't check his own parts right cause he sucks at life....so I'd be going back for the sole purpose that he sucks at life and needs help....and well..that just makes my fucking day.
Click to expand...

I LOVE how shit like that works out! Keep kicking ass, ZAP!
 
RAGEIN big time!!! i know its not entirley good for ya, But all the "legal highs" containing JWH of any kind has been banned and taken off the shelves here in OZ.... fucking spewing hey there was one in piticular i wanted to try, now its a missed oppertunity:!

Also never seem to have enuf money, had to dip into my car fund which was majour dissapointment but hey motherfuckers gotta eat eh?:|
 
fuck my friends..well one of them.. youre drunk its nothing new calm down stop saying you will fight everyone

this is the last night i ever go out with them. ugh. i'm staying alone and i dont give a shit anymore. friday nights were more fun at home playing video games getting stoned alone. i dont want to live like this but i will until i get bored. then who knows. probably off it i dont see why i try.
 
123/80 70BMP 11breaths per min, pupil constrictor tone normal, slightly elongated Q/T wave interval and food seeking. According to that old son of bitch who's related to me, this indicates central dopamine and norepinephrine release due to a release agent... of course he didn't even see me before tossing out his allegation...let alone a thing like even a quick check of indicators of sympathetic nervous tone.

tl;dr My dad made the diagnosis of acute stimulant intoxication over the phone, so I decided to take my BP, breathing rate, check pupil size and run a 5 lead ECG (I have the equip handy so did it for the lulz) to see if I met superficial signs of it...I'd have expected hypertension, tachycardia, mydrasis and lack of appetite, and defiantly not a prolonged Q/T! (probably due to central DA block from the prochlorperazine I took to sleep) I have thus concluded he's a fucking moron for even trying to make definitive diagnosis of anything by telephone, extra points for not knowing the difference between central and peripheral NS or between sympathetic and parasympathetic innervation to start with.

Oh well, I might as well enjoy myself and live up to his label, since its been affixed anyways.

Sorry, he just fucking pisses me off more then anyone I generally encounter in my life.
 
I'm in worse pain every year from an ancient injury and before doctors even ask where the pain is, they have made up their minds about me just seeking drugs thanks to some 12-year old mention in there about me having tried opiates once. I've abused them plenty more over the years but where the fuck is the science in that. This HURTS. So I should shave, pretend to be clueless about drugs and put on a nice shirt to be heard? Chewing on half a 5mg Norspan patch but I'll be surprised if it works. That whole 5mg would barely take the edge off even if I injected it. I've been called a drug seeker, hypochondriac and what not even though you can see the injury by just looking. My whole left side hurts, you can see the tendons in my neck when it's hurting due to the tightness and the complete lack of symmetry around my shoulders and chest. You can hear the fucking *CRACK* *CLUNK* noise my shoulder makes several rooms away. It's true I'm an ex drug abuser (only reason I'm chewing this shit is because it doesn't help the pain at all as a patch) but why the fuck does that have to prevent pain treatment? I don't care if the meds don't get me high. I just want to know what this is and how to make it go away, but they just send me home without even looking. It's mostly around the chest now and that scares the shit out of me, having smoked for a long time. It got way worse after starting to exercise. I hate the closed-minded circle jerk medicine is today.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
^^ That's why I NEVER admit drug use to any doctors, not even shrinks.

sad but true.
Click to expand...

Agreed, and ZAP, hope ur new old job works 4 ya keep stackin tha paper:\
Ant thusly my rant (again) Why cant i hold onto fucking money?? agrivated i need a bank saver but credit assholes on my back and they aint gunna get one cent outta me corrupt bankers and thier greed.. so i have to only deal in cash:!
 
S.M.F.G said:
RAGEIN big time!!! i know its not entirley good for ya, But all the "legal highs" containing JWH of any kind has been banned and taken off the shelves here in OZ.... fucking spewing hey there was one in piticular i wanted to try, now its a missed oppertunity:!

Also never seem to have enuf money, had to dip into my car fund which was majour dissapointment but hey motherfuckers gotta eat eh?:|
Click to expand...

Same just happened where I live, and the flying hysteria squad fighting any form of cannabis has scored again.

I'm going back to the northlands, where at least common sense is..... common.... amongst the ex-corn, wheat, and dairy farmers....

Fucking fascists... I used to like living here.

And what business is it of ANYONE else's, what others choose to do LEGALLY and safely, just because they're AFRAID of what will happen when others excercise free will?

And for those still beating the anti-cannabis (natural or synthetic) drum, because it of whatever sparked y'alls crusade...... fuck-you very much.
It doesn't matter what form it takes, but cannabis is STILL the most effective antiemetic, antidepressant, and chronic pain fighter I've encountered.... and a LOT of other users with legit medical need have been screaming the same thing for a while.

But thanks to a few who have this insane idea that they somehow know better than the rest of us.... instead of going just 3 blocks to the gas-station and costing me less than $20 if I feel sick..... I have to drive across town, dodge the cops & everyone else on the fucking roads, fart around arguing prices with some blackmarket weed pusher, and then make it back safe.

People are fuckin scared enough as it is; with everything that's worthy to be scared about, there's gotta be a bunch of nervous-nancy types, extremists of every flavor, and the politicians they fund, never letting any good crisis go to waste....
 
Last edited:
I'm such an asshole. I always do something wrong. I should just drop off the center of the earth.
 
My beloved cat passed away 2½ hours ago, she took her final breathe in my arms.
She was 14 years old and got real sick friday and today (monday) we were supposed to drive her to the vet and have her fall asleep there but she passed away normally in our livingroom 2½ hours ago.

Rest in peace "Tussi" you will be in my thoughts.
 
DeLee said:
My beloved cat passed away 2½ hours ago, she took her final breathe in my arms.
She was 14 years old and got real sick friday and today (monday) we were supposed to drive her to the vet and have her fall asleep there but she passed away normally in our livingroom 2½ hours ago.

Rest in peace "Tussi" you will be in my thoughts.
Click to expand...

Awww I'm so sorry :( I hate when pets pass away it makes me sad.
 
RIP kitty....cats are one of the few things I have a soft spot for..I can't imagine my Kitten ever dying :(

I'm fucking sick and afraid that the chronic infections I keep getting have moved onto other organs in my body cause antibiotics quit treating it, and I can't call off work without fearing for my job and I work dayshift so I can't go see the doc unless I take off. And I don't even know how soon I could get into my doc, but I tend to worry about my health when I'm sick and since this is an ongoing thing I'm freaked out and don't know if its a bug or what...

I wish I didn't have perpetual anxiety over my health.
 
I am so irked that my own mother is constantly deeming me some insensitive bitch just because I speak my mind. I will never stop being the way I am when it comes to speaking out about my opinions, and I am sick of people acting as though I should hinder what I believe in just to 'play fucking nice' for those who can't emotionally take it. Virtually anyone who knows me knows that I am a kinder and more morally correct person than most of the population; I don't need to hold back my own opinions just to prove that I can be 'kind'. I am kind, but I am not a kiss ass. I was born with my own set of opinions for a very valid reason, and no one will take that away from me. Hell, I would never take it away from them! Besides, to me kindness has to do with your actions—how you treat the underdog—how you treat those unlike you—how you treat people with disabilities—and how you never, ever react with cruel and or vindictive behavior or gossip, ect. Apparently to my mother, kind means kissing ass to her 'depression' (which I supposedly have as well, on TOP of PTSD) while I am approaching 23 years of age, and withholding opinions that to me, she should be proud I have. To me a parent should want their child to have their own opinions, even if they may not agree with them. I have strength of character, and after years of literally doing everything in the book I could to kill myself, I realize I deserve that strength of character. If anyone thinks I am a bitch for not being an ass kisser, then so be it.
 
Virtually anyone who knows me knows that I am a kinder and more morally correct person than most of the population; I don't need to hold back my own opinions just to prove that I can be 'kind'. I am kind, but I am not a kiss ass. I was born with my own set of opinions for a very valid reason, and no one will take that away from me. Hell, I would never take it away from them!
Click to expand...

and I wouldn't have it any other way..... if you were to ever de-bitchify, I think it'd be a serious loss for us here, and for the populace in general......

By being you, I'm sure you've had a lasting, positive impact on more people, than eleventeen hunnerd clever public-service/Ad Council shorts could accomplish.

Many people don't like honesty and integrity..... and I've found that those who don't, usually are lacking in those values to begin with. For those of us who aren't though; we have to remind ourselves occasionally (or be reminded) that we're not them, and they're not us.
FUHM =D


It's unfortunate we can't pick our families..... But even with family; "you never really know someone.... until you gotta share an inheritance with em'."
 
Last edited:
well,
i typed up this huge rant before i went to the beach for the weekend,
only to come back to my computer to find that the rant that took me 15minutes to write hadnt been posted:| so ill retype it later today...

but anyways, ive come to realize that i had generalized anxiety,
every time im with my friends, or with anyone for that matter, im having a horrible time, just freaking out and wanting to be alone, my thoughts race uncontrolabley.
it seems like im only happy when im alone:( it just seems like nothings fun anymore

i keep getting invited to go camping/hangout/etc but i always end up making up some excuse as to why i cant go. and ill be honest, i dont really give a fuck when i tell them i cant hang out. i feel a little bad but whatever..

so now im gonna go see my psychiatrist and hope i get Wellbutrin, which im hoping will restore the fun in life. for now im self medicating with phenethylamine, for some reason it just puts me in a "dont give a fuck" mood. whatever, im pissed. theres so much more i could type but i dont wanna be "that guy"
 
^I can relate, except I have a mixture of anxiety, depression and just not giving a fuck about people in general. even doing things alone used to be fun til I hit a depressive episode.

I hate that no matter what fucking temperature it is to everyone around me, its twice as hot to me. Example: work. Sweat dripping everywhere, on the steel, on my press, inside my ear, you name it. While most everyone else is just like meh, its hot, but I'm not sweating like a fucking pig. And there's really no end in sight. I wish I didn't have to fucking deal with this shit, every day it eats at me more.
 
I don't have anywhere to post this and didn't want to start a new thread.......
I seem to have some self image issues I guess......
I don't have an Eating Disorder, I wouldn't say I have BDD, as I am not preoccupied by thoughts of weight or my body-

Recently I've lost 40 lbs and am trying to lose more....

In the last week 2 people have asked me if I am anorexic (one being my Dr. today).
I look in the mirror and some days I see an overweight person.
I am by no means a skinny mini (and happy for that, I wouldn't want to be- for myself, I like curves).....but I am concerned that others have come right out and asked me if I am eating- to me this means they're seeing something I'm not.
They can't possibly think that I'm that thin, b/c I'm really not. I know that sometimes I see myself larger than I am but I know I'm not skinny.
I just don't understand. My therapist had told me in the past that I had a distorted self image but not about my weight- I am finding peace within myself and coming along in other areas in my life- I felt like I was doing really well.....but these comments have me worried that something is wrong. Am I not seeing myself for what I look like? Am I somehow portraying a me that is insecure about my body?
I just feel kind of disappointed.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top