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Vent/Rant Thread 1 (POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING)

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ocean said:
Okay :D
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^ Haha! The dude rocks the spoken word mic, is sexually alluring as hell, tough as nails, gets better with age, and is not strung out! Plus, anyone who dates Lydia Lunch gets mass quantites of brownie points in my book!
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theotherside said:
Henry Rollins was in a sitcom that lasted 3 episodes a few weeks ago on NBC...Paul Reiser. He is still scary even when doing a terrible job of acting.
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Hahaha! My dream come true. I've always been a horrid bitch and an aspiring actress. I'll take two!
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PS. I will undoubtedly have to check that out! Sounds gold to me!
 
Fucking relapsed again. Why do I do this to myself? I'm smarter than that, I should know better. I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me, I ant control impulse.

What frustrates me is the fact that opiates really do make me more productive at work. almost twice as productive. I have a very physically demanding job, work in the heat and am putting tremendous strain on back and shoulder muscles.

Maybe I should just research alternative employment or get into school full time. I'm lost. I need direction. or a destination.
 
drscience said:
Fucking relapsed again. Why do I do this to myself? I'm smarter than that, I should know better. I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me, I ant control impulse.

What frustrates me is the fact that opiates really do make me more productive at work. almost twice as productive. I have a very physically demanding job, work in the heat and am putting tremendous strain on back and shoulder muscles.

Maybe I should just research alternative employment or get into school full time. I'm lost. I need direction. or a destination.
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I was pissed at the same thing earlier and was told it doesn't have to go further than that..and turns out the advice was sound. If I understood your profession right you work construction? Or is a contractor more like the foreman? Sorry, my terminology is Finnish. Building is tough work, here the days are 7-4 and after one of those I just tend to fall into the sofa and not move for the rest of the evening. Can't blame you for wanting to make it a bit easier. Maybe you can consider it a bittersweet treat if you pick up and focus on limiting the relapse. I may not have the advice you need, just my $0.02. :/ But things tend to look better when they're not so acute. A heavy meal and a joint before thinking about it too much? =)
 
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fuck shellscripts and pipelines! what a fucking awkward, stupid, backwards and 40 year old way to manipulate data. jesus christ POSIX standard, you can pull your head out of your ass that is stuck in 1969 and modernise.

</nerd rage>
 
My sister texted me this afternoon to tell me that my dad (who is an avid road cyclist) had been in an accident whilst cycling yesterday, but he is okay. Broken collarbone and a few fractured ribs (he is nearly 60). I called my mum this afternoon to see how they were doing, and I spoke to my dad. He is indeed fine (he is a seriously tough man) but sounded like he is in immense pain, understandably.

He told me the whole story of how it happened, a car was involved.....honestly...from the sounds of it...he is very lucky to be alive.

My dad is like a cat, he seriously has 9 lives. All the near-misses he's had so far, this is about his 8th chance at life....

Today I'm forced to consider what it would actually be like to lose my dad...and the thought of that absolutely tears me apart.

Same as any child, I guess. But he's always been invincible to me. Until now.

Not only that but I've never really had to deal with the death of a loved one before, and honestly the thought of it causes me massive anxiety...like, more anxiety than the process of ACTUALLY dealing with death. Every time I'm faced with a possible death in the family, I crumble. Thankfully each time the possibility has occurred the loved one in question has pulled through and recovered...but my anxiety surrounding death and grief builds. Today I didn't even want to CALL my dad, because I was freaking out so much that this strong, amazing, incredibly invincible man could possibly be broken.
That's not a normal reaction :(
Obviously I shook it off and called him, and I'm glad I did. But it worries me.

How am I going to cope when someone I love actually dies????? I worry myself sick about it.
 
^ Sorry to hear your dad was in an accident, n3o, and further more that you have difficulties with the thought of the death of a loved one. <3

I really can't relate or offer advice since I'm not close at all with my family, as horrible as that is to say. There's one person I'll be relatively torn up about when she passes (my grandma, who's 89), but that's about it... :-/
 
^^Damn N30 hun, you must have got a terrible shock. :( <3
...so glad he is fairly okay though.

My Dad got a heart attack last year and I felt similarly

It is really worrying, I know sometimes if my folks are on holidays and I am housesitting for them; I obsessively imagine what it will be like when their dead...bit nuts but I cant help it; just the way my mind operates. Think its just the mind trying to come to terms with the inevitable.

Think the main thing is to appreciate your time in the here and now with him and with everything in life. Death is an inevitability, we only truly deal with it when it happens. Putting too muh energy into fearing it can eat into the quality of time we are living but also being aware of its inevitability can give us a richer, more real appreciation for the limited time we have living... and sharing/investing that with the ones we love/who love us, while we can. :)
<3
 
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Sorry n3o <3 I often feel the same way and just try not to think about it. I've had very close family members pass away but I don't know how I would react when my parents do. I don't speak to one of them and for the past two years or so I've been fighting half the time with the other one. I would hate to not somehow resolve things before they're gone.
 
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