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vasectomy

W

Wash

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 4, 2011
Messages
42
Hey, I don't really know if this is dark side material or not, but I need advice and you guys are great at it.

I'm considering getting a vasectomy. I don't want kids, I don't have anything against kids, but thats not for me. I've called planned parenthood and talked with them and my insurance covers a vasectomy. I may have co-pay, but it's wouldnt be much as the entire procedure is 500 and the majority will be covered. I'm 19, and was told by multiple people they wouldnt do it because I'm young, but I talked to them and they reccomended me a doctor, who ive called and discussed it with.

I'm wondering if I should get it or not. I'm told I'll regret it and want kids when I'm older. I figure if I do want a child, I'll adopt. There are plenty of kids out there who need homes, and I'd rather take one of them in, rather than have one and possibly pass down any mental issues to them.

Heh, I guess I'm just looking for reassurance, but what do you guys think? I'm pretty set on it, and all I'd need to do is schedule an appointment. Theres one open in a few weeks and I'm considering calling on my next day off work and scheduling.
 
adam west said:
it can be reversed but im not sure if the procedure is always spot on
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Yeah, i know it can be reversed, but as I'm told it cant always be reversed. Procedure not always spot on? Are complications common?
 
Why would you want a vasectomy? It doesn't logically make sense.

If you don't want kids, wear a condom. I'm sure you would want kids compared to a venereal disease.

If you want to have unprotected sex with a trusted partner and you all are truly in a committed relationship, get her on birth control.

It's as simple as that. Sure, birth control and condoms could fail, but would you really rather have surgery on your genitals instead?

I've had surgery. Not on my genitals, but my arm. And it hurt so much that I would rather die than have to go back under the knife. Just my 2 cents.
 
I can imagine there may be doctors who discourage you simply because of your age. Give it some more thought before going through with this. ALWAYS use a condom. If a girl says "it's a safe time I won't get pregnant," don't believe her because it happened to me. One time at the tail end of my period is all it took. (sorry guys, tmi) And we were married for 5 years. Oral contraceptives are the most reliable, that is if she takes them every day.

My son is coming of age, he's going to 16 and still naive. If he got some girl pregnant, I will be the mother in law from hell! :(
 
You can change a lot in time. You are only 19 & I know I am a much different man at 33 than I was at 19. I am not saying do or do not do it but why not wait 15 years because you never know if you will meet a woman who makes you want to make babies.
 
I reaaaaaaally don't think you should. Like, really not. I completely understand getting a vasectomy but not at 19!! There's way too much time for your opinion to change. What if in ten years you want kids - and not adopted, but your own? It could happen, you never know. Wear condoms, see if your girlfriend/partner/whatever could get on the pill, but a vasectomy is not something I'd recommend to anyone under, say, 40.
I think it can get reversed but it's not 100% reliable and extremely painful apparently. I just don't see the point of doing it so young when there's lots of perfectly good methods of birth control out there.
 
T. Calderone said:
If a girl says "it's a safe time I won't get pregnant," don't believe her because it happened to me.
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If a girl says "it's OK, doctors told me at a young age I cannot get pregnant," don't believe her, because doctors are fucking stupid. Yes, I got a girl pregnant despite the fact doctors told her she would never get pregnant. I must be a miracle worker in that regard. ;)

adam west said:
here in the uk i think it has something like a 97% success rate
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When I was taking Human Sexuality, we were taught that the shot in the arm for females has a success rate of 99.something %

I'd just get her on a shot.

There are also IUD's (lots of mixed reviews though) as an alternative to a shot, and a pill, and condoms, and painful surgery.

It is also important to remember that females cannot sterilize themselves at your age because they are more likely to have cancer as a result. I know this because my female friend in high school (bless her!) wanted to get sterilized at age 17. She wanted to stop having a period as it was allegedly unpleasant (I'm a male, I wouldn't know =D) and what not, but no doctors in the United States would do that for her.

With all of the other birth control options available, it would be foolish to have a vasectomy.

Finally, I'd say this: Put it off until you fall head over heels in love with a girl, and want to be with her for the rest of your life. If at that point you don't want kids, it'd be a different story. However, when heterosexual people fall in love, males' testosterone level decreases and females' testosterone level increases, and this is theorized to "bring the two genders closer together", facilitating love so to speak. At this point in your life, it is likely you will feel the urge to reproduce with her, if you are going to feel the urge at all in life. It would be foolish to not have foreseen this event as you likely have never been in love before and cannot account for what your personal experience of falling in love is going to be like for you.
 
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I would not elect to undergo the procedure if I were you.

The advice you have been given by the above posters to wear a condom and ensure the safety of yourself and your partner is very sound.

I don't know at age 32 if I want to have a child! I do know I don't want a medical procedure that might or might not be able to be reversed. I have a reversible method (an IUD) and I use condoms. I have never had any kids, but I know I don't want to completely rule out the idea. You would still need a condom to protect against STDs.

*edit* I was on the shot for exactly once. I passed out in the doctor's office, cold. I bled for about a month after my one fainting episode; I was able to safely use an IUD. My story is in the SLR archives. CH, I know that advice was well-intended, but Depo-Provera is a hell of a drug. It is effective for many women but not all.

OP, when you do fall in love, you are best advised to have a reversible form of contraception. I've had a few side effects from my IUD, but I have never been pregnant.
 
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Mariposa said:
*edit* I was on the shot for exactly once. I passed out in the doctor's office, cold. I bled for about a month after my one fainting episode; I was able to safely use an IUD. My story is in the SLR archives. CH, I know that advice was well-intended, but Depo-Provera is a hell of a drug. It is effective for many women but not all.
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Thanks for sharing your experience Mariposa. :)

I didn't know not all women could tolerate it well.
 
I always knew that I wanted children but I put it off for years because I also knew that I wanted to travel, be poor by choice in order to do so (work jobs that I could quit and pick up as needed rather than a career) and I also wanted to experience lots of relationships. When I was in my late twenties I lived with a man that did not want to bring kids into the world at all. He was pretty cynical about the world itself, his own ability to be a good father and he didn't even particularly like kids; I was at a point where I felt ready to become a mother. In the end he agreed to have them because it was important to me and he wanted us to stay together. This could have gone very wrong but it didn't. We have been married 27 years this month and we had two amazing sons. There is not a week that goes by that he does not thank me for something that he never would have experienced otherwise. He sees being a father as the richest part of his life and the single most powerful experience in developing him as a human being. The reason I share this story is not to convince you to have children but to say that at 19 he was resolute against having them and at 39 he was enthusiastically welcoming his first child into his life.

I do respect the choice to not have children. It is a complicated choice and there are so many reasons why it can be the best option, not just for you because of personal reasons, but for the planet. You are not prevented from having children by not producing them, as there are millions of babies born every year that will end up needing homes due to every circumstance imaginable. Still, at 19, to limit your ability to have your own based on the feelings you have now seems extreme. We don't even finish physiologically developing (brain-wise) until our mid twenties. Give yourself a few years at least. I can understand that you feel afraid of an accidental pregnancy (I never understood how terrifying this is for guys until I had sons; always thought it was more terrifying for women), but choosing your partners well and using condoms no matter what the women are using should make that occurrence practically nil.
 
I avoid surgery at all costs, especially unnecessary ones. You're 19, who knows what life will hold? May as well keep your options open.

That being said overpopulation is a serious issue, and I wish more people put some thought into reproduction...
 
If you aren't 100% positive that you want to have kids... like EVER, then don't do it. It costs upwards of $7500 CASH to reverse it, insurance will not cover, and its not a guarantee. I know a guy who had one done for the same reason, later ended p having it reversed and now has 2 kids... he just didn't want any at the time... neither did his old lady.. they got a divorce and now they both have kids...
 
Personally, I feel like SO different to most issues in life than i did two years ago, letalone 9 (when i was 19). there are much easier ways of reducing the risks of pregnancy. Think about how much you have changed since you were 16....i bet a ton of stuff you thought was say cool then is totally shite now eh? This is surgery...and being a responsible, alert and respectful sexually active person, no matter how many partners you have, is much more beneficial than something like this. A little rationality and a good head on your shoulders should be able to guide you through the trysts and passion and intense moments of a life with ease. You really don't ever know how you will feel in a year, letalone 5. Id say this to you at 29...but at 19?
 
Most people don't want kids at 19, but I suggest refraining from this procedure. You might change your mind, we constantly change throughout life.
 
I will say don't do it now. Not because it is not always reversible/you might change your mind (freeze your sperm before if you can and you're concerned about this), but because I think it could make more likely to have unprotected sex.
 
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