dopamimetic
Bluelighter
Not really a trip report but think it's nevertheless worth sharing as so many people are fighting with depression, anxiety and especially social anxiety with no real success ... also there are really few reports about valproate for anxiety overall.
Well, I've been having mental problems for my whole lifetime, with anxiety - general but very pronounced in social situations - being the most disabling symptom, depression also being severe from time to time. Tried the usual meds (too many to list them all) with no results but horrible side effects and also some unusual ones, as well as countless other drugs, RCs, supplements and whatnot. What worked were the dissociatives, MXE was like pure chemical magic but I've realized its potential a bit too late, then it was already made illegal here, difficult to obtain and all- also I feared of negative effects when using it too often. This is something I've relativized because I want to live, life is too short to spend any more time in this fucking introverted, awkward-ish shy state, but well ... the MXE era is over. I really miss it.
But now what I've discovered more or less by accident - sodium valproate. Something I'd never have tried on my own, as it's an anti-manic agent and anti-convulsive of which I'd have thought to be depressing, emotionally limiting etc. like these nasty antipsychotics, but I was wrong on this. They put me on it because I've been manic due to 3-MeO-PCP - I'm not really bipolar, unfortunately without chemical aid I only get the downs, but no ups..
So I was really surprised when I thought not to feel anything from the valproate. No bad side effects as the usual meds would come with. But wait, did I say that I don't feel anything? Yeah - the point is the absence of my usual inner tension, anxiety and all. It took some time to identify the effects and find the right dose, for me this is 900mg/d of valproate - together with memantine (a mild NMDA antagonist / 'dissociative' that's prescribed for Alzheimer's and can be used off-label for other things- I've used this one for maybe three years now to help with impulse control and anxiety) - 50mg/d but this is a hefty dosage, I do heavily suspect to have genetically predisposed over-active NMDA receptors - there is a really estimable synergy going on.
Add in some phenibut, maybe 750mg, and you have such a totally relaxed, chilled out state I'd never have imagined that it would be possible to experience while feeling cognitively totally sober, no impairment of memory or judgement at all and also no blunting or limitation of emotions, just feeling so absolutely mellow-ish normal as I've ever wished to feel and never thought it was possible. The anxiolysis is stronger than anything what you could achieve with benzodiazepines because they are too impairing and sedating.
Emotional dissociation without the dissociation at its finest. I'm in so amazing full control of myself, totally chilled and access to memory and cognition has never been easier. If this state only would last ...
Also, it's not depressing. Rather the opposite, completely unlike neuroleptics or even benzodiazepines ... maybe the best comparison would be the acute effects of a high dose of pregabalin but without the intoxication.
Well, I've been having mental problems for my whole lifetime, with anxiety - general but very pronounced in social situations - being the most disabling symptom, depression also being severe from time to time. Tried the usual meds (too many to list them all) with no results but horrible side effects and also some unusual ones, as well as countless other drugs, RCs, supplements and whatnot. What worked were the dissociatives, MXE was like pure chemical magic but I've realized its potential a bit too late, then it was already made illegal here, difficult to obtain and all- also I feared of negative effects when using it too often. This is something I've relativized because I want to live, life is too short to spend any more time in this fucking introverted, awkward-ish shy state, but well ... the MXE era is over. I really miss it.
But now what I've discovered more or less by accident - sodium valproate. Something I'd never have tried on my own, as it's an anti-manic agent and anti-convulsive of which I'd have thought to be depressing, emotionally limiting etc. like these nasty antipsychotics, but I was wrong on this. They put me on it because I've been manic due to 3-MeO-PCP - I'm not really bipolar, unfortunately without chemical aid I only get the downs, but no ups..
So I was really surprised when I thought not to feel anything from the valproate. No bad side effects as the usual meds would come with. But wait, did I say that I don't feel anything? Yeah - the point is the absence of my usual inner tension, anxiety and all. It took some time to identify the effects and find the right dose, for me this is 900mg/d of valproate - together with memantine (a mild NMDA antagonist / 'dissociative' that's prescribed for Alzheimer's and can be used off-label for other things- I've used this one for maybe three years now to help with impulse control and anxiety) - 50mg/d but this is a hefty dosage, I do heavily suspect to have genetically predisposed over-active NMDA receptors - there is a really estimable synergy going on.
Add in some phenibut, maybe 750mg, and you have such a totally relaxed, chilled out state I'd never have imagined that it would be possible to experience while feeling cognitively totally sober, no impairment of memory or judgement at all and also no blunting or limitation of emotions, just feeling so absolutely mellow-ish normal as I've ever wished to feel and never thought it was possible. The anxiolysis is stronger than anything what you could achieve with benzodiazepines because they are too impairing and sedating.
Emotional dissociation without the dissociation at its finest. I'm in so amazing full control of myself, totally chilled and access to memory and cognition has never been easier. If this state only would last ...
Also, it's not depressing. Rather the opposite, completely unlike neuroleptics or even benzodiazepines ... maybe the best comparison would be the acute effects of a high dose of pregabalin but without the intoxication.
