ela.sand
Bluelighter
I would love to hear from people who have used psychedelics in the process of bereavement.
For me, high-dose psychedelics seem to be made for existential situations like this, as they almost always confront me with death/fear of dying in some way or another.
i read this post http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...d?p=6169772&highlight=grieving#post6169772and and it made me think further-
Although i'm not expecting the experience to lessen my pain or make the grieving process faster, could it also be inhibiting and maybe send me onto a wrong/less healthy path of coming to terms?
I want to share my particular case:
My girlfriend died 7 weeks ago.
She had accidently locked herself out of the flat and was trying to climb through the roof window into her corridor window 1 meter below. She slipped and fell from the 4th floor into the lightwell, around 20meters down. The police who found her 3 days later told me she had died immediately and her mother, who had to take a look at on-site photos, told me that although the body naturally was contorted etc., she looked peaceful and had a relaxed facial expression.
I don't want to go into details of my beliefs on what happens after death, but i will say that i try to mourn properly. I regularly take time to feel the pain flow though me and give myself space to cry. i meet with her friends and family a lot and we support each other in grieving. Also, i'm taking regular psychotherapeutic sessions.
I live three stories below this flat and my corridor also has a window into this light shaft/court. its a concrete space, 3x3 meters. I can't bring myself to open this window. i don't even want to look outside into this tube she fell into.
Now several people have had the idea that it wood be good to do a ritual to rid the space of the trauma of her death. Now in this case it's irrelevant whether a place can actually contain an atmosphere by itself, or whether its my mind associating it. But cleansing the space does make a lot of sense to me and feels right.
I want be inside the light shaft while in a psychedelic state induced by a strong dose of mushrooms. I want to feel into the place and into myself, relive the events that took place here, let everything happen and then let it go, release it all.
I can only talk from a conscious level, but i want to state that my intention is not self-therapeutic or with the expectation for answers. It's meant as a ritual for the space and for what part of my girlfriends spirit might be stuck there.
For me, high-dose psychedelics seem to be made for existential situations like this, as they almost always confront me with death/fear of dying in some way or another.
i read this post http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...d?p=6169772&highlight=grieving#post6169772and and it made me think further-
Although i'm not expecting the experience to lessen my pain or make the grieving process faster, could it also be inhibiting and maybe send me onto a wrong/less healthy path of coming to terms?
I want to share my particular case:
My girlfriend died 7 weeks ago.
She had accidently locked herself out of the flat and was trying to climb through the roof window into her corridor window 1 meter below. She slipped and fell from the 4th floor into the lightwell, around 20meters down. The police who found her 3 days later told me she had died immediately and her mother, who had to take a look at on-site photos, told me that although the body naturally was contorted etc., she looked peaceful and had a relaxed facial expression.
I don't want to go into details of my beliefs on what happens after death, but i will say that i try to mourn properly. I regularly take time to feel the pain flow though me and give myself space to cry. i meet with her friends and family a lot and we support each other in grieving. Also, i'm taking regular psychotherapeutic sessions.
I live three stories below this flat and my corridor also has a window into this light shaft/court. its a concrete space, 3x3 meters. I can't bring myself to open this window. i don't even want to look outside into this tube she fell into.
Now several people have had the idea that it wood be good to do a ritual to rid the space of the trauma of her death. Now in this case it's irrelevant whether a place can actually contain an atmosphere by itself, or whether its my mind associating it. But cleansing the space does make a lot of sense to me and feels right.
I want be inside the light shaft while in a psychedelic state induced by a strong dose of mushrooms. I want to feel into the place and into myself, relive the events that took place here, let everything happen and then let it go, release it all.
I can only talk from a conscious level, but i want to state that my intention is not self-therapeutic or with the expectation for answers. It's meant as a ritual for the space and for what part of my girlfriends spirit might be stuck there.
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