Hey Ragna-
Now that I'm feeling better, it was Neurontin. I metabolize things quickly.
That's great that you're participating in NA meetings by raising your hand. I keep Subutex to myself for now. I mean, I have a close friend I occasionally go to meetings with, that knows.
If I meet someone I get close to, I may share that. My reason for keeping it to myself is I don't want to get pissed off and not go back.
If anyone tells you that you're not clean because your on subs, that's bullshit. My life is completely unmanageable if I'm shooting dope everyday. So, for me, I'm clean as long as I'm not doing that.
I also was on methadone. I had a bad experience with it. I was sick everyday by 4pm. Every morning I went into the clinic visably sick. Pale, face covered in sweat, etc. I tried to voice this to my counselor who was an idiot, everyday. He kept telling me it was in my head. It was a nightmare.
By pure coincidence, it was discovered during a blood test, that I'm an aborrent metabolizer. My methadone level was so ridiculously low in the morning that they asked me if I was really swallowing it. Wth? I know people sell spit back. Not me. I want my meds thank you.
Anyway, I have to split dose. I'd either take most of it in the morning, or half of it and take the rest in the afternoon or evening. But I went through hell for s few years. I also still had cravings.
But, that's irrelevant. I have cravings no matter what I'm on. Im the problem. I've learned that I have to do more than take an opiate replacement. I have to participate in my recovery.
Use the numbers on the pamphlet if you need or want to. Really. Most people want to help. I'm really happy to hear that you are feeling better. You're making great progress. ???????????