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Using MDMA therapeutically when alone?

negrogesic

negrogesic

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Anyone have information on how to use MDMA therapeutically without a sober person facilitating the process? I have some MDMA and I haven't taken any in a decade. I would like to somehow get something out of the experience but not sure how helpful my girlfriend would be.

I tried looking up this subject (self-guided therapeutic use of MDMA) and couldn't really find anything.
 
I have taken maybe 30-50 mg alone when young and just watched a movie. Effects were slight but felt very connected to characters in the film and was a generally pleasant, life-affirming experience.

Do you have any specific goals for the therapeutic use of mdma?
 
I’d suggest journaling to see what it is you want to get out of it. Having something wrote down will help guide you and keep you on track.

Maybe use a mirror and talk out loud to yourself. If your girlfriend wanted to be involved then just chat to her. Maybe you could give her questions to ask you or statements to read that you can consider and think about.
 
MsDiz said:
I’d suggest journaling to see what it is you want to get out of it. Having something wrote down will help guide you and keep you on track.

Maybe use a mirror and talk out loud to yourself. If your girlfriend wanted to be involved then just chat to her. Maybe you could give her questions to ask you or statements to read that you can consider and think about.
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LadyDiz, either of those situations would have me going out of my mind on MDMA. Writing? Typing is hard enough! Never mind talking to yourself in the mirror.

@F.U.B.A.R. I think we have both recieved an absolutely mashed message from the other.=D

MDA is better than MDMA but MDMA is great for self introspection, Im always surprised more people haven't experienced it.
 
You know, I suspect maybe I have taken MDMA alone more times than anybody here, possibly.

I never took drugs in tandem with, in reaction to, obiliged, to keep up, fit in, etc.

I made my own drug use entirely independent from others.

I went solo. But no recluse. Opposite. Friends out of ears. All sorts, straight nice innocent young ladies (who I did not defile!), crew, workmates, mum's friends etc.

My LSD taking has always been a very independent affair. Totally regardless of anything or one.

Now exstacy alone is different.

It can be holy, freeing, sublime. Self purifying.

Other times, I might pine for some other consciousness.

A lowish dose, 100-125 mg's may work best.

Like, 250 will bring on the more biological primal urges to socially interact, intensified emotions hard to contain,

How you lead into the experience may set it up.

If you can make a peaceful, sound connection beforehand, with a close somebody, wind down, express.

Give a bit (I see you as a giver in life @negrogesic not once have I seen you look to knock a man down, always seeking to understand, and help, no cheek, patronisingor flattery, and no flattery here by me eirher I say what I feel and though we see different I appreciate you and how you have been open, fair, direct with and accepting ofcme personally).

When I took exstacy (still swear at estimate 325 grams by 2005 lol, don't even think about that past life since the power of LSD with tolerance hacked to full reversal, is maybe not eclipsed even yet by other (cognizant) BL posters), I made the setting and set with a day of pure positive thought, interaction, cleaning.

Fulfilled.

Rolling alone I did a LOT. Even at work lol. 7 full time days straight once, on MDA at Tescos lol.

It's more lonely than LSD alone.

But that said, it can be gloriously therapeutic, freeing, centreing.

It can enable you to drop all the chatter, see past emotional haze, clear cobwebs.

@negrogesic I hope your upcoming experience is rewarding. Maybe have a few little channels of simple connection open (Alexa? Lol kidding, although I've sworn forever she would ironically be my ultimate tripsitter, as you can throw anything at that bitch lol- "Alexa...remind me in 25 minutes, I am NOT dying. Emphasisie the not please Alexa.."

Just to touch some base, expressing emotion is part of the release.

Hope it goes well man and I catch an account.

Merry Christmas? 🙂
 
Tranced said:
LadyDiz, either of those situations would have me going out of my mind on MDMA. Writing? Typing is hard enough! Never mind talking to yourself in the mirror.

@F.U.B.A.R. I think we have both recieved an absolutely mashed message from the other.=D

MDA is better than MDMA but MDMA is great for self introspection, Im always surprised more people haven't experienced it.
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I mean obviously I meant to write it out before taking the mdma. As a guide for when you take it. Duhhhh

It’s also pretty standard practice for those using MDMA to work through issues.
 
Interesting ideas, I had thought of writting something first like MsDiz had suggested.

I could perhaps use my girlfriend in the process but am worried I might say some brutally truthful things to her that I can't take back (which would upset her and in turn alter the experience significantly).

I suppose optimally what I hope to get out of it would be some sort of general reaffirming effect,
as well as a renewed sense of direction. Perhaps even some sort of extended anxiety relief if possible. But again, I feel like I'd have better success if I could channel the experience somehow rather than just blindly dropping a few hundred milligrams.

Which brings about another question: dose. I have what seems to be fairly pure crystalline MDMA, but due to daily dextroamphetamine use (30-60mg/day) and a natural stimulant tolerance I am guessing I'd need 200mg or so to get to the "rolling" state. I was going to do a 30-50mg allergy test weeks before to gauge the strength of this sample but I think my window to do that has now passed.

Also, my other fear is that due to the disinhibition I will start reaching out to friends and family. Perhaps I should lock up my phone in a time lock safe?
 
MsDiz said:
I mean obviously I meant to write it out before taking the mdma. As a guide for when you take it. Duhhhh

It’s also pretty standard practice for those using MDMA to work through issues.
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Oh yeah actually, writing down your expectations and desires after taking it, is ridiculously spazzy of me and would be completely pointless. Apologies. x

I was just thinking... I'm definitely physically incapable of talking to a mirror or writing while on this stuff, maybe worth bearing in mind. In fact I've got similar-ish experience of this, as on MDA the other month I was talking to the reflection of my music EQ in my speaker, explaining it to somebody that didn't exist. =D

My advice is as follows: Take MDMA, until you're sufficiently "going" (130mg, then redoses if you want or if neccesary. If it doesn't quite get you there, a litle bump always helps, rather than waiting for that extra small dose required (probably won't be effective/will take ages), or redosing/waiting to redose a large amount (stacking peaks or lying in limbo). Then lie down on your bed in darkness or low light, close your eyes, and let the MDMA ponder to you. Music is also fine... it's going to increase your vibe and sense of journey, reduce anxiety etc. The more beautiful and meaningful the music the better; lyrics can seem very timely and pertitent. Choose wisely with lyrical music.

IME the vast majority of people, due to MDMA's icon as a social drug, have never actually done this, which I sort of find odd, but I get.

I always advise writing a trip report after so you never forget, and so your thoughts are not obfiscated over time. Always stay true to yourself when writing your trip report. Don't be ashamed to write things, and don't change things to try and make it funny or more interesting or whatever.

My biggest, huge breakthrough, revelations, came from MDA. But I understand it has become incredibly rare and is not neccesarily feasible. Weed and ketamine are certainly enhancers. Building slowly to a k-hole or a few. is always effective and to me personally, standard issue! But people differ.

Enjoy... you, and the things you love. I think that's the main take away experience from MDxx. Reconnection with friends, hobbies, persuits, life. Seriously, enjoy. I love doing this x <3
 
Just about all of my MDMA experiences have been alone. You can definitely profit from it.

There are some guides out there, like the one at /r/MDMAsolo, but one thing I can think of at the moment is the setting. All of the therapist guides I've read point to a quiet peaceful environment. If you usually take it in a group/party setting, you might naturally start setting up the music, the lights, the whatever. Fun, right? But it might easily keep you from the kind of inward reflection you seek.

I think it comes down to dropping, settling back with some comfortable cushions and soft lights, and just relax and breathe.
 
negrogesic said:
Anyone have information on how to use MDMA therapeutically without a sober person facilitating the process? I have some MDMA and I haven't taken any in a decade. I would like to somehow get something out of the experience but not sure how helpful my girlfriend would be.

I tried looking up this subject (self-guided therapeutic use of MDMA) and couldn't really find anything.
Click to expand...

Do you mean doing this while completely alone? Or doing this with your girlfriend? Or doing this yourself, but with your girlfriend present?

Best advice I can give is to start low. 50-100mgs. (You're not going for the party experience here remember). Make sure you have a glass of water within your reach at all times (dehydration can ruin the experience and make you nauseous). Kick back on the couch to some soothing music that you like, as you may initially experience some anxiety from the initial effects and a relaxing atmosphere will help you get through that initial stage. You may experience some fluctuations in body temperature in the early stages as well, which is perfectly normal. You'll gradually begin to feel a sense of inner warmth, empathy and a deep connection with your surrounding environment. If you're on your own, you may feel tempted to pick up the phone and call a family member or friend. I'd suggest talking to them about this before hand so they'll have an idea when to expect the call and will understand the situation. If you find yourself feeling drowsy or dehydrated, sip some water. When the effects begin to wear off, don't be tempted to take more, allow yourself to drift off to sleep if you can, but don't worry if you can't. Take some L-Tryptophan or 5-HTP 12-18 hours later which will help to take the edge off the withdrawal and continue to do so once a day over the next several days.
 
Frazzled1990 said:
Do you mean doing this while completely alone? Or doing this with your girlfriend? Or doing this yourself, but with your girlfriend present?

Best advice I can give is to start low. 50-100mgs. (You're not going for the party experience here remember). Make sure you have a glass of water within your reach at all times (dehydration can ruin the experience and make you nauseous). Kick back on the couch to some soothing music that you like, as you may initially experience some anxiety from the initial effects and a relaxing atmosphere will help you get through that initial stage. You may experience some fluctuations in body temperature in the early stages as well, which is perfectly normal. You'll gradually begin to feel a sense of inner warmth, empathy and a deep connection with your surrounding environment. If you're on your own, you may feel tempted to pick up the phone and call a family member or friend. I'd suggest talking to them about this before hand so they'll have an idea when to expect the call and will understand the situation. If you find yourself feeling drowsy or dehydrated, sip some water. When the effects begin to wear off, don't be tempted to take more, allow yourself to drift off to sleep if you can, but don't worry if you can't. Take some L-Tryptophan or 5-HTP 12-18 hours later which will help to take the edge off the withdrawal and continue to do so once a day over the next several days.
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As to the first part, I'm not sure whether I want to do it with her present or not. I have not decided. I haven't even told her I have plans to take it.

I was considering having her take it too, but she is on a fairly significant dose of lithium orotate (per my recommendation, and it's working like a dream for her) so she would have to stop for a few days before hand just to be on the safe side.


Maybe it would be best to have someone around so i could talk outloud. Sort of afraid of what I'd say.

As far as the dose i really think I'll need a significant dose given my natural stimulant tolerance and my active dexedrine usage. Assuming what i have is say 85% pure, i think I'll need something like 200mg total. I should have tested 50mg a month ago to gauge its purity.
 
HeadphonesandLSD said:
Step 1) Take usual "breakthrough" dose of mdma (for me 100-120mg)
Step 2) Find sunny spot in yard
Step 3) unfold easy chair
Step 4) convince neighbor's cats to hang out with you
Step 5) Pet cats, ponder life.
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Not a bad idea actually, I am installing a new backyard fence in the coming days since the backyard of the house i recently bought i oddly exposed.

Don't have a neighbor with a cat, but there has been a flock of about 20 quail that visit me daily. Wont have to convince them, they just show up. Never dealt with quail until recently, they are very friendly birds
 
negrogesic said:
Which brings about another question: dose. I have what seems to be fairly pure crystalline MDMA, but due to daily dextroamphetamine use (30-60mg/day) and a natural stimulant tolerance I am guessing I'd need 200mg or so to get to the "rolling" state. I was going to do a 30-50mg allergy test weeks before to gauge the strength of this sample but I think my window to do that has now passed.
Click to expand...
I take dex daily (20-30mg/day) and did not notice much cross-tolerance with MDMA. If you're worried, take a few day break from the dex before rolling. 200mg is a ton if you're getting uncut M, definitely wouldn't go over 120mg initial dose + 60-80mg redose.
 
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Frazzled1990 said:
Best advice I can give is to start low. 50-100mgs. (You're not going for the party experience here remember).
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With genuine, upmost respect, I just want to say that I absolutely disagree with this advice for this kind of setting.

50-100mg, in my experience, is absolutely not enough MDMA to fully come up. I can honestly catergorically state, that in dosing multiple friends, over nearing twenty years since sixteen, at least about 130mg MDMA is required to come up for the vast majority of people.

And that said, regardless of peoples required come up dose, I would say that 'coming up' fully is absolutely essential to personal MDMA therapy. MDMA comeups are often not enjoyable for many people, and they can find it incredibly anxiety inducuing. Being left in limbo is absolutely not a good state for a lot of people to be left in, and futhermore you do not get the full psychedelic and empathogenic effects of MDMA, which are required for deep and therapeaputic MDMA introspection. There is nothing wrong with redosing, and it might be required. Higher doses of MDMA are incredibly psychedelic, of course with reverence to MDMA's typically social & empathonegenic psychedelic social effects. Very high doses of MDMA, get very psychedelic.

Basically to me this is the equivalent of telling somebody to take 50 mics of acid for their own self directed psychotherapy.

I have exprimented with microdosing MDMA this past year or so and I would take 50-100mg or so, usually in lines so it hit fast (btw I don't get comeup anxiety, just to clarify).

Microdosing MDMA was incredibly effective for openess, creativity, love, appreciation, openess, connection. But it was a utility to be used as and when required or wanted; it was not the same as using MDMA therapeutically alone, at all.

Again, I disagree only respectfully. Much of the rest of your post was good advice. I just don't think what you're proposing is the same thing, at that kind of dosage.
 
HeadphonesandLSD said:
Step 1) Take usual "breakthrough" dose of mdma (for me 100-120mg)
Step 2) Find sunny spot in yard
Step 3) unfold easy chair
Step 4) convince neighbor's cats to hang out with you
Step 5) Pet cats, ponder life.
Click to expand...

Haha I love this.

Exactly, take a breakthrough dose. But breakthrough. You need to actually 'break through'. I just have never personally seen that with 100mg. Certainly not 50mg. (reffering to my above post, more than anything)
 
Tranced said:
I would take 50-100mg or so, usually in lines so it hit fast
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50-100mg is certainly not a microdose. And taking MDMA intranasally is pointless. I believe the bioavailability is similar to or even worse than oral.

You're getting some pretty cut shit if most people you know aren't rolling off 100mg. The several studies MAPS did for PTSD found incredible therapeutic effects from 80-120mg. Most people should not need more than that.
I find 110mg to be the sweet spot personally with the batch I have in my stash. 120mg hit me a bit hard and 100mg was pretty good for my first time but maybe a touch weaker than expected. My friend who is very experienced with MDMA + psychedelics and taking the same batch found 90-100mg to be a good amount.
If you and everyone you share your M with needs more than ~120mg for a roll and you aren't all unusually tolerant and/or all have high bodyweights, you are probably getting M from a bad source (avoid street dealers) that is cut and/or not actually MDMA. The only other exception would be if you have a history of abusing MDMA, in which case you should be avoiding M anyways to allow your serotonin receptors to repair themselves.

Advocating that people take 130+ mg is incorrect and dangerous if they go too far above that (e.g. 200mg)
 
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