Using Dreams? How to deal with them?

[Miss Hollywood]

Last night was probably the worst night in the two years that I've quit doing heroin. I had one using dream after another and they seemed so real that when I woke up I actually looked on my nightstand to see if I had any dope. I woke up with cravings so intense that I wanted to just run out the door and go looking for some at that very moment. It's a good thing I have no money or a bus pass or I'd be on a mission to get some. I mainly quit using heroin because of my boyfriend's horrific overdose (as some of you remember me posting, which later got me into trouble with the cops as they used my post against me in court). He came very close to death and it scared the shit out of me. I vowed to stop using after that. After two years, my boyfriend and I are living together and we haven't touched heroin since. We did shoot some pretty weak cocaine last weekend and it just made us both want to go out and score some dope because after all it is our drug of choice. My biggest fear is if we start using again we'll lose everything like our apartment and our life together. I'm also terrified to use with him again because I'm afraid he'll overdose again. I was always very careful and never ODed. I didn't understand why he overdosed in the first place. I'm a lot smaller than him but I guess I have a larger tolerance.

Anyways, how many of you that have quit your drug of choice have intense using dreams and how do you deal with them?

 

[ArtVandalay]

Funny, I just posted a topic about this. I've been on suboxone a year now, and it's been a year since I've used anything. I have frequent using dreams. The funny thing is I never get to use in the dream. It's usually me finding some meth or knowing I have it but something prevents me from doing it. Same with my sex dreams- I'm about to, or want to, but I don't get any. My girlfriend left me around the time I quit- I'm obviously missing her and using. But I get pissed- like can't I have some fun in my dreams- haha.

 

[Miss Hollywood]

Funny, I just posted a topic about this. I've been on suboxone a year now, and it's been a year since I've used anything. I have frequent using dreams. The funny thing is I never get to use in the dream. It's usually me finding some meth or knowing I have it but something prevents me from doing it. Same with my sex dreams- I'm about to, or want to, but I don't get any. My girlfriend left me around the time I quit- I'm obviously missing her and using. But I get pissed- like can't I have some fun in my dreams- haha.

I don't get to use in my dreams either. I always wake up as I'm about to use. I was so pissed off today when my man's alarm clock went off for the 5th time because it kept interrupting my dream. I was just putting the needle in my arm and then BAM! I'm awake and thinking "did that just really happen?" It seemed so real. The only thing that was weird was as I was putting the needle in my arm my skin started to crack apart. It was so weird. I had about 4 using dreams just last night alone. I would wake up and every time I would go back to sleep I would have another one. I'm depressed today to say the least and plan on drinking heavily tonight.

 

[ArtVandalay]

I've heard Dr. Drew talk about recovering addicts using in dreams and actually feeling high. I'm kinda jealous of that! Although, maybe not, because it might tempt me even more. Crazy how intense addiction is that it burrows into your subconscious like that.

 

[BiggDirty01]

Using dreams can be profound experiences in either a Negative or Positive way.

Negatively, they can be insanely triggering and if you do not take actions once you wake up to change your thought process (Thought Stopping is a technique that was taught to me in outpatient treatment) and use newly learned tools, usually from AA/NA or from detox or rehab.

Positively, if a person has learned to handle triggers, these dreams can be a powerful insight into one's former ways and emotions and help understand the actions necessary to insulate one's self from relapse.

People that are freshly sober or not in some kind of treatment program/NA need to be very cautious with using dreams. Many a addict has relapsed from using dreams simply because the excitement/emotion felt when the addict wakes up can lead a person like pavlov's dog straight to the dope man/doctor/pharmacy etc.

 

[RobotRipping]

i often have dreams where i'm using drugs. I always get that safe feeling of having a stash of drugs, i feel like 'thank god i have all these drugs' then i wake up and have nothing and am rather disappointed (to say the least). I've also used drugs plenty of times in dreams, right after the hit or whatever i usually end up having an out of body experience. It's weird lol.

i don't really know how to deal with them, they trigger me pretty badly. The post above makes sense but i can't really gain an insight other than that i crave drugs and perhaps i feel a certain security in having them, which i guess does say something, still can't stop them from happening though.

 

[Serotonin101]

I've heard Dr. Drew talk about recovering addicts using in dreams and actually feeling high. I'm kinda jealous of that! Although, maybe not, because it might tempt me even more. Crazy how intense addiction is that it burrows into your subconscious like that.

I've had a few dreams where I felt high. Thats the only "safe" way to use AND not throw away clean time =P I've been having them a lot lately too, oddly enough I'm smoking crack, shooting meth, or finding a stash, but none of my drug of choice (heroin).

 

[Missykins]

I, too, have had very intense using dreams. For me, they can be very traumatic as well, but they are just like any other bad dream; they are just a dream and nothing more.

Coping with the trigger inherent in using dreams involves relying upon your sober network to talk it through. And cut yourself some slack, you haven't used.

 

[footscrazy]

Miss Hollywood, it's great news you guys have been clean so long! That's a mega effort. I definitely think your fears are justified, and I think it's much too risky to use again. I'm sure you know that though, and I totally get that you can have all the rational thoughts of why you shouldn't use, but the cravings don't care and fuck, you just want to get high. Maybe it would help to think about all the progress you've made, all the goals you've achieved, because you've quit heroin. I also think it's amazing that you and your boyfriend have been able to do this together. A lot of couples can't make it through quitting together, and that you have shows that you have something really special. I think that using could risk this, or imagine if you use once but one of you can't stop and falls back into addiction. That could break the relationship apart. Anyway, I think you can get through this. You guys are obviously tough, you've been through a lot, and it does suck that you have to keep on battling even 2 years later, but I think pushing through these cravings will really be worth it. Good luck, I know you can do it

I don't really know how to deal with using dreams, I get them a lot too though. I usually get high in my dream and sometimes it can be awesome, but most of the time lately it ends up being a bad trip. I don't know if that's indicative or something and it's probably not important, but it usually ends up being pretty unsettling, as I get all the effects of a bad trip, not knowing what I've taken, confusion, wishing the experience would end, trying to find one normal thing to grab onto an and usually ending up sinking into a corner somewhere waiting for the drug to wear off.

Usually though the really intense feeling only lasts with me just after I've woken up, then it fades into the background like most dreams. So I guess I don't really deal with them at all.