Used to be co dependent, now am avoidant

[Josephine_Morphine]

I'm browsing, not much attention span, but I see this topic and I think "holy shit, thank God I don't have to deal with that shit any longer"
Long story short, I used to be a lot sicker than I am now, that's all I can say. I was co dependent on top of being worse off in every other mental health category. I won't get into details, but it caused me so much trouble and years of headache. I realized at some point that I was *never* going to be able to attract the sort of female I really want, so I said "fuck it" , that was in 2011 or so. Now I'm forty nine and can still get it up , but have very little libido. I enjoy books and drugs much more than people . I have too many of my own mental health troubles to be trying to mate up with any chick. Nothing good can come of it.

The point is, I'm finally free. I have pets though, so I can't get around attachment completely

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Same here, felt bad at first, realising it and all that s lost.
The Cat we shared, anti-allergic especially for me.
By faith, she couldn t stay with her [my ex and my 2 kid s],
so she [the cat] got dumped right after me.
Came to live with me, in a few month s she got used.

Without Kid s around was able to be herself, lost her stress.
So the Character she had, sweet and assertive. But also polite,
so accepted that i sometimes was busy. And she i imagine knew.
I would make up for it. Gained weight, maybe my better food choice.
She was underweight when she arrived. [Mi..auw u 2]
Cherish your pet s, especially Cat s, they are noble animal s imo.
Win their trust and they are real, not fake, 'friend s'. For life.
We had a un-written rule, a minimum of 3 x petting a day,
and missed session s. Must be done on a other day.
[have cat s a agenda, they wright down missed session s]

Then i recent found this, inspiring. Its not as bad as my story.
But the general things he told, made sense and worked comforting.
It is close enough, and confirmed my thought s that spun round in my brain.



eMKee, "finally free" after 25 year, chasing what looking back based.
On hope, false i tried but it never worked. This is why
You are alone, but if its really that bad. Bluelight is more real,
then my 'so called friend s/ family. Much love and come back,
once in a while. Get to know the people here you like.

It helped me through difficult moment s of loneliness.

 

[Vastness]

Co-dependency is on the light-side of rarely official diagnosed personality disorders, usually because co-dependents are actively being exploited by Narcissists or others on the other side of the Dark Triad, meaning therapists understandably are hesitant to pathologise what is, at the point at which they might get involved, the last thing the patient needs is to be told their situation is actually a THEM problem (not that it is, course, just trying to put myself in some other shoes).

Like the darker disorders that make people potential dangers to society, such conditions very very rarely just spontaneously remiss or recede permently given sufficient trratment. Much like the narcissist on the cusp of destroying his family just will not allow his disorder to dictate... it is a constant struggle. In some ways, a subtle one, because a recovering narcissist can only really recover if they take a truly zero-tolerance policy towards the other-blaming baits that they've ingrained. Conversaely... fuck, I've just walked into a conclusion I don't like... a recovering codepdent cannot weaponize their codepdency to extract unreasonable demands from anyone... even if for those of us who aren't deliverate cunts (sorry Dark Triads, I'm envisioning a specific person here).

There's nuance here, of course... the conditions that indcuce codepency is fucking traumatising, and it's understandable any conter-bevahiours would arise.

Why type all this stuff... well. I'm concered that because codepdency is a relatively "inoffensive" disorder compared to narcissism - which is true - there is not sufficient focus on truly moving beyond it. But that's a problem, because the same traits that contributed towards a person becoming codependent exist elsehwre.

Maybe I'm misreading what you meant somewhat though, that you "used to be" a CoDepedent, something that is rarely cured, if ever, without help to carefully manage it, with informed awareness. BUT, after that nitpick I can easily assumed you mean t what you said in a more figurative senss, indication of how you're come or whatever.... which yeah.... that's awesome!

And on that note, have been codependent, I probably would be niagnosed with the almost unheat if P:er

(!? EDIT, couple hours later. It's been a spangly day, OK!)

...ah actually fuck it, I'll post again, I have thoughts.

 

[kiely]

Same here, felt bad at first, realising it and all that s lost.
The Cat we shared, anti-allergic especially for me.
By faith, she couldn t stay with her [my ex and my 2 kid s],
so she [the cat] got dumped right after me.
Came to live with me, in a few month s she got used.

Without Kid s around was able to be herself, lost her stress.
So the Character she had, sweet and assertive. But also polite,
so accepted that i sometimes was busy. And she i imagine knew.
I would make up for it. Gained weight, maybe my better food choice.
She was underweight when she arrived. [Mi..auw u 2]
Cherish your pet s, especially Cat s, they are noble animal s imo.
Win their trust and they are real, not fake, 'friend s'. For life.
We had a un-written rule, a minimum of 3 x petting a day,
and missed session s. Must be done on a other day.
[have cat s a agenda, they wright down missed session s]

Then i recent found this, inspiring. Its not as bad as my story.
But the general things he told, made sense and worked comforting.
It is close enough, and confirmed my thought s that spun round in my brain.



eMKee, "finally free" after 25 year, chasing what looking back based.
On hope, false i tried but it never worked. This is why
You are alone, but if its really that bad. Bluelight is more real,
then my 'so called friend s/ family. Much love and come back,
once in a while. Get to know the people here you like.

It helped me through difficult moment s of loneliness.

Co-dependency

are actively being exploited

Isn't that what I call the trauma bonding somehow though. When someone intentionally looks for someone that is weak and vulnerable and maybe sick or high so they can easily be manipulated into being controlled because they are going to be rescued by that someone who is actually looking to find all of their weaknesses as an easy way to



benefit from this all when it works out so perfectly for them. Because someone happens to fall for it for one reason or another or they are vulnerable from the way they get trapped and tricked into it. Because now they are stuck into the whole game for someone else's own benefit to use them for whatever they can get. Because



that's all that they know and is the life that they live. To find someone to prey off of and feel big and strong. And then say that the vulnerable one is the one that wants them too, because they are the one's that are so very very co-dependent to begin with. Because they then get manipulated and get stuck deep into it even more and the other person must now become convinced



they are in fact the bully instead even though they were weak and vulnerable in the first place. Only to be told that they now are the problem ... while the perp is waiting for the next victim to come around that might have something better or just for the thrill of the fact that they know how to manipulate so well and is their game because it is all that



they do and the only thing they know and live for. Because it's just what they just do. And they don't even know they are doing it because it's what they do completely intentionally and is in fact exactly all they know. But they don't even know they do it. That's how good they are at it. It's just automatic.


Because it is what their life is like and the environment that they are from. And they will never know or even realize it because they don't want to and they never will. So they do it naturally because it is in fact their nature too. Yeah, and just because they think someone is that dumb



because they think they can tell them everything they want to hear because that's what they just do and think someone else is that stupid too and they will just fall for it all and then try to convince them that they can be anyone that they want them to be or say anything they think that someone else wants to hear to try to control them. When they just lie



about who they are because they don't even know who they are themselves. That kind of deal. So that they can use and abuse anyone and take away their identity too and make them look like a piece of excrement too and because they want to get there own way for their own benefit and their own benefit only and on and on and on.



Totally to get there own way and anything and I do mean anything and everything else they can get out of the relationship to use someone else, like someone is actually an insect or just a nobody now and a nothing more than a thing and a used up one now too and never was



someone at all, not even a real person to begin with, and then survive and thrive from it and all of this all and getting their great big giant I can do what ever I want ego off of and from them all, until they win the game with whom ever they can get to fall for it at the time until something better comes along. Yeah that's how they hunt someone down. Oh yeah it happens in families through marriages as well. Okay I will give them that much too. There now they have it. Something to have on someone else. To one up them. And to always have something on someone else. So someone else can suffer and feel as bad as them if not worse to make themselves feel happier then.



Live and learn. I guess. And what we have to do and go through to learn our lessons for the consequences for letting it happen too.






In other words it's just someone looking for weakness to have power and control over someone else.



And yeah just to get their own damn way and burn someone else. To feel so superior to them. But they make sure they look good to everyone else.



Because it's always someone else's fault for everything every time too.
Never ever ever their fault. Always something else or someone else.




And that IS NOT a healthy way of being or having a healing life somehow either. Or plain and simple .....
to actually be around it either. So ....



Oh and then they laugh about it too and actually get off from it so to speak.





And then they don't even realize that not everyone is into that kind of existence. So they never stop or they have to look anyway even if it is just for the sole fact for something to do and they then look for that specific one or just have a con artist act that they live by. But sometimes ..... there




are others that just don't desire to be fck'd either, and or that bad. They are out there too also. They are wanting to be established and set in there own ways and don't need parasites taking from them and everything out of them the everything that they don't have or can't have then themselves too !!! Just Wow.






((( Or .... and what I say and call it .....
...........



Clapping cheeks for food, shelter, and some warmth !! )))




I could be wrong though. It could be the wrong thread maybe.




I didn't watch the video either btw because I just know how depressing it is to have to go over it all again and again and again.





So yeah. I . wish. the. one's. like. that. to. stay. away. from. Me. And is my opinion, my life, my own circus.




And I don't mean pretty please at all I guess. And of course I will
be labeled as cunty and rightfully so. But ... I am good with me now so there you have it.





I don't need it. And that is all I want out life too - my own life. That's it.





Fuck me and I'm a bitchy bitch cunt now too. But .... I don't need it or want that either. So go away so I don't have to be
then and I won't be missing out on any damn thing that I don't want to miss out on at all anyway what so ever. Bye.





Haha right back to them then. This is what they do to you. Their only power and purpose that they will ever have.




Till you snap and they ruin it all for you and everyone around you too so they can get one up and feel how good it feels to win and win and show others what their superpower is and that they actually exist and not stop until they do what they intend to do until their end result and



goal and that is only for their own satisfaction and fulfillment. And then prove to others to look and see how crazy someone else is, how someone that isn't them is the crazy. Not them, haha ha hee he haw. Because it is always someone else, not them. Look at the dumb ass





other person. Look look look. It's not me me me is how they think. Them not me. And not me either. So there you go. They don't have power over me. My power is my own. Not them. And not them EVER. Bye bye to them who are who those choose to be. I choose my own life.




They don't choose for me. No one should and no one should have to. So stay away from them if you don't want to be taken down and burnt in their own hell hole life that isn't or ever will be for me. Me me me. Me. Like they love to say all of the time. Me me I I I only only only mine mine



me my myself only. Me Mine My. Nobody else matters but they pretend like they do. They pretend. Like a real true con artist. That's the only truth about them.



Ha ha. They will make you look like a crazy ass for that one last time. And will be the last time for me when I AM through with all of it from ' them. '



See how crazy I am. They get to be the hero's now. Because they always win. Or think that they do. It's just just .... how pathetic it is to me. Always.





Ha ha laugh it off now. They think they can laugh at everyone else. Till they get laughed at and cry about things like who's a bitch now. That's all they have !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Because it's all they have to do. It's all a funny fun and game .... Until there limit dumb ego gets hurt than it's a crime. It's perfectly normal for them to be allowed to fuck someone over but no one can ever do it to them. Especially someone they consider the dumbest bitch being on the planet. Because they have opinions that others can't have and aren't allowed to or aren't as worthy as them.



And this is the reason why they don't do anything else and can't do anything else for that matter also. I guess they have a label too !!!
But I am crazy because it is what they will say about everyone else that doesn't coddle them ... like an infant. Grow up you fucks that know




goddamn well what you purposely do to others ..... just so you can survive in life somehow. Off of others and at another's expense. Literally too. And will never change and stop the way that they they live off of others to take care of themselves and themselves only. Because in reality .... they are the only one that matters and ever will to themselves.





And then tell others we are together because they say it is so. And they are gonna tell you but you can't tell them.
They have a different standard for everyone else because they only matter not you. How sad that they have to make everyone as




miserable as them. It's just sooo sad to me that I don't even want to be a part of that kind of thing. Do they think they are cool or in with
that only one cool crowd that there could possibly ever only be anywhere at all !!!! They'll tell you that you write too much. They will tell you that you are the stupid




one. They will tell you anything they want to say and just so they can say it. They will tell you it's some kind of code that you must be too dumb to know. And they have all of the answers because everyone else is just too dumb to even know anything at all, anyway.





And they are always the victim not you. Or anyone else. For whatever reason because they are the only being with problems is how they feel maybe. And they will always be the victim. As if no one else in the world was ever victimized. And this so you will have to have pity for them and make it up to them and because you will always owe them. They deserve more and more and more than you ever will. And they just take everything that they can. And then pretend that they are doing you a favor because they are of course the smartest one in the universe and existence. Because they are the one's that have to exist and nothing else really matters but them .... and yes them only. Like they are the only
one.





And ..........now I'm done, finished. Literally too.






Thanks your very much though, and thank you for nothing then also. Is what I say.





Was it worth it. Oh yeah for them. Not my circus and with their flying monkey as well.





Those kind that will get you ousted .... and then say you are the one that didn't want to be there anyway !!!
They speak for you. They plant ideas. With their lies. Sorry but they do. And it's everything that they do.
Sound familiar, of course. Because that is who they are. They fool everyone or try to. And they are good at it.
Like magicians that make themselves the magic and more harder than you can or will ever try to. They fool everyone
that they want to fool. Like snake oil salesmen.

I'm not mad. Ha ha. He he. The yolks on them and their kind. Those Egg heads. I'm just saying it's aggravating when they
get under your skin and it's all that they know again and again and over again. And admit it right to your face and to everyone else.
And ha ha he he. Blah blah blah blah Blee blee. And it's just the reality of it and how it will always be. They will never stop. I never saw anything so annoying. And it's a real live never ending war to them and always will be.




So I pray to anything that I can for their horrible benign passive evil to just quit already. But they won't. They act like they
are some kind of fighting gladiator that is the most righteous of all. But I am done with it. Even if I have to sit and wait to
get ousted for it. But yeah it doesn't and will never have power over me anymore. It won't. And I will never ever let it again.



Sorry that I have to be so conceded now too and better than people that actually think they are the better ones.
But I am worthy of myself then I guess. I guess I have to apologize for that too. Well too bad ... so sad for them then.
Because I am not going to apologize for bullshit.




Because I am done with it and them and their kind. There is so much better than that to my own life. I have self worth.
And that I am capable to go to that extreme to get as far away from it as all possible .... and forever too .... because I can.
If you have to fuckin oust me again and again you are probably doing me a favor ..... in that self centered mindset it is.





So how do you all like that one. Mmm k.



But you know what, I bet they can pretend that they aren't like that too. And real good !!






So yeah, again and again and again, Clapping cheeks for food, shelter or warmth.





That is all.

Sorry if I made some silly typo's too in the pathetic and provoking rant but you know I am not perfect like them. Maybe they can pray for me so I can be perfect like them.
But I know that they don't bow down to anyone or anything. Because nothing will ever make sense and everything can be turned into a conspiracy that they don't understand until of course ..... they want to understand. It's also funny how they really do remember ... what to actually forget. And see I can play the blame game too. But spell check is a difficulty sometimes and I tried. So there. Maybe I can just blame them now or someone ... the way that they do. But of course it just proves to them how I that I am flawed and have a weakness and not above all other humans like themselves.



Yeah I know don't let bother you .... even though they actually can and of course eventually you will have to just give in so they will just fuckin be allowed already. They're just so special. Because I'm just so not ..... and will never be. Yeah compared to them of course and of course and of course. Just let them do what they want. They already told you they are the righteous and privileged ones anyway. Don't even bother because they will keep on going with it till they win and get their own ways.
So just let them have there own way. They themselves wouldn't have it any other way, of course. See what happens when they make you start babbling. They want to make you be and look crazy anyway. Let them have that too. Let them have everything. And it will still never ever ever be enough. And they will still want and will have to always deserve more.


fuckin insane insanity already. Like me or everyone else will beat you up, gang stalk you and not like you for not being one of us .... because they say so. Or they will cry for years until you just get numb to it and give them their own way already. And the pretend again like they don't know that you know so you have to pretend not to know too.
And then it's so confusing that the will just cry real tears about it so of course they can cry over nothing again so that you will have to feel such sympathy for them.




This is what this all amounts to with them. A whole bunch of something about absolutely nothing so they can be someone again and again and again over and over and over
and constantly ... again.



Sorry for the rant but it's their purpose for others to go all wonky over it all and be this way so they can laugh and get another rise from all of it again if you really must know
and of course you must ... for their perspective. I wish the bat shit crazyness of it all can just grow the fuck up some day. But they don't they just get worse. So we all have to go beg for a friend now. Because we don't deserve on of course .... without they're wholeness of permission that they must grant to you.



I have to ignore life now and shut myself out because they say so. And only when they say it should be permitted. And so they and they only can be happy ... as in the happiest and the winners of the whole chicken dinners. Do you know when they ever fuckin stop. They Don't !!!!!

ha ha hehe. Let them be happy now.




Bye, bye.


Because I'm such a nice person. I am toooo. As in also. Why can't I be such a nice person too. Oh because they are the nice ones. Yeah.
That's right. Uh huh. They say so. Not you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You aren't allowed only they are. And I'm gonna put up with that shit. Because fuck me too. They are allowed to fuck you. They say so. So you can't fuck them. Fucking is that important you know. The damn circus fuckers.
They will fuck you in and out of they're circus rings. If you keep lettin them !!!!!! So don't do it. Not because I said it ... but because you did.


It's fun isn't it. This world isn't better that this !!!!!!!!!! Nope. And it never will be. So you mind as well just pray to fuckin jesus. At least you'll have better odds of someone actually giving a free fuck and actually caring. Yeah that's why.


They are all alike. They all do the same g'damn thing. There is always one everywhere. Some way in some form and somehow.

Like who the fuck would waste they're time actually loving someone ( like they all do ) that's so berserk right now. See that's the problem. Just how they want you. Really ha ha hee he. What a mentality that they all have. ... Hint hint. Not the co dependents ... but rather the ones that they depend on. Right.


Something to laugh at now. laugh at now. laugh at now. They're all gonna laugh at you laugh at you laugh at you Carry.


Winky winky Dinky winky. This bitch is crazy .... just right where they want you .... just like they say so. bye now.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Co-dependency is on the light-side of rarely official diagnosed personality disorders, usually because co-dependents are actively being exploited by Narcissists or others on the other side of the Dark Triad, meaning therapists understandably are hesitant to pathologise what is, at the point at which they might get involved, the last thing the patient needs is to be told their situation is actually a THEM problem (not that it is, course, just trying to put myself in some other shoes).

I may be misreading this...But if it is a 'them' problem, then realising that is exactly what they need (not so much being told - granted, but being provided with the right space/conditions in which to realise this themselves.

Am finding the recent trend towards pathologising the majority of the human psyche irksome. They're coming up with a new 'disorder' every couple of weeks it seems. Oh, but not to worry..."We can treat that" smh.

Bored and looking outta the window? - Disorder! (nah, it's boring, so bore off, heh)
Don't agree with what Donald is saying? - Disorder! (anti-authority disorder) aagh.

Am off-topic, apols. (Off topic disorder?)

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Isn't that what I call the trauma bonding somehow though. When someone intentionally looks for someone that is weak and vulnerable and maybe sick or high so they can easily be manipulated into being controlled because they are going to be rescued by that someone who is actually looking to find all of their weaknesses as an easy way to

No idea how deep this would hit, you. You activated my Black Steel/ Metal-Rock.
reading and had to stop. Emotion s welling up.

benefit from this all when it works out so perfectly for them. Because someone happens to fall for it for one reason or another or they are vulnerable from the way they get trapped and tricked into it. Because now they are stuck into the whole game for someone else's own benefit to use them for whatever they can get. Because



that's all that they know and is the life that they live. To find someone to prey off of and feel big and strong. And then say that the vulnerable one is the one that wants them too, because they are the one's that are so very very co-dependent to begin with. Because they then get manipulated and get stuck deep into it even more and the other person must now become convinced



they are in fact the bully instead even though they were weak and vulnerable in the first place. Only to be told that they now are the problem ... while the perp is waiting for the next victim to come around that might have something better or just for the thrill of the fact that they know how to manipulate so well and is their game because it is all that



they do and the only thing they know and live for. Because it's just what they just do. And they don't even know they are doing it because it's what they do completely intentionally and is in fact exactly all they know. But they don't even know they do it. That's how good they are at it. It's just automatic.


Because it is what their life is like and the environment that they are from. And they will never know or even realize it because they don't want to and they never will. So they do it naturally because it is in fact their nature too. Yeah, and just because they think someone is that dumb



because they think they can tell them everything they want to hear because that's what they just do and think someone else is that stupid too and they will just fall for it all and then try to convince them that they can be anyone that they want them to be or say anything they think that someone else wants to hear to try to control them. When they just lie



about who they are because they don't even know who they are themselves. That kind of deal. So that they can use and abuse anyone and take away their identity too and make them look like a piece of excrement too and because they want to get there own way for their own benefit and their own benefit only and on and on and on.



Totally to get there own way and anything and I do mean anything and everything else they can get out of the relationship to use someone else, like someone is actually an insect or just a nobody now and a nothing more than a thing and a used up one now too and never was



someone at all, not even a real person to begin with, and then survive and thrive from it and all of this all and getting their great big giant I can do what ever I want ego off of and from them all, until they win the game with whom ever they can get to fall for it at the time until something better comes along. Yeah that's how they hunt someone down. Oh yeah it happens in families through marriages as well. Okay I will give them that much too. There now they have it. Something to have on someone else. To one up them. And to always have something on someone else. So someone else can suffer and feel as bad as them if not worse to make themselves feel happier then.



Live and learn. I guess. And what we have to do and go through to learn our lessons for the consequences for letting it happen too.






In other words it's just someone looking for weakness to have power and control over someone else.



And yeah just to get their own damn way and burn someone else. To feel so superior to them. But they make sure they look good to everyone else.



Because it's always someone else's fault for everything every time too.
Never ever ever their fault. Always something else or someone else.




And that IS NOT a healthy way of being or having a healing life somehow either. Or plain and simple .....
to actually be around it either. So ....



Oh and then they laugh about it too and actually get off from it so to speak.





And then they don't even realize that not everyone is into that kind of existence. So they never stop or they have to look anyway even if it is just for the sole fact for something to do and they then look for that specific one or just have a con artist act that they live by. But sometimes ..... there

Mine never realised, she was victimised before knowing.

are others that just don't desire to be fck'd either, and or that bad. They are out there too also. They are wanting to be established and set in there own ways and don't need parasites taking from them and everything out of them the everything that they don't have or can't have then themselves too !!! Just Wow.






((( Or .... and what I say and call it .....
...........



Clapping cheeks for food, shelter, and some warmth !! )))




I could be wrong though. It could be the wrong thread maybe.




I didn't watch the video either btw because I just know how depressing it is to have to go over it all again and again and again.

It is, i never watched it till hallway and stopped. Good call, follow intuition.

So yeah. I . wish. the. one's. like. that. to. stay. away. from. Me. And is my opinion, my life, my own circus.




And I don't mean pretty please at all I guess. And of course I will
be labeled as cunty and rightfully so. But ... I am good with me now so there you have it.





I don't need it. And that is all I want out life too - my own life. That's it.





Fuck me and I'm a bitchy bitch cunt now too. But .... I don't need it or want that either. So go away so I don't have to be
then and I won't be missing out on any damn thing that I don't want to miss out on at all anyway what so ever. Bye.





Haha right back to them then. This is what they do to you. Their only power and purpose that they will ever have.




Till you snap and they ruin it all for you and everyone around you too so they can get one up and feel how good it feels to win and win and show others what their superpower is and that they actually exist and not stop until they do what they intend to do until their end result and



goal and that is only for their own satisfaction and fulfillment. And then prove to others to look and see how crazy someone else is, how someone that isn't them is the crazy. Not them, haha ha hee he haw. Because it is always someone else, not them. Look at the dumb ass





other person. Look look look. It's not me me me is how they think. Them not me. And not me either. So there you go. They don't have power over me. My power is my own. Not them. And not them EVER. Bye bye to them who are who those choose to be. I choose my own life.




They don't choose for me. No one should and no one should have to. So stay away from them if you don't want to be taken down and burnt in their own hell hole life that isn't or ever will be for me. Me me me. Me. Like they love to say all of the time. Me me I I I only only only mine mine



me my myself only. Me Mine My. Nobody else matters but they pretend like they do. They pretend. Like a real true con artist. That's the only truth about them.



Ha ha. They will make you look like a crazy ass for that one last time. And will be the last time for me when I AM through with all of it from ' them. '



See how crazy I am. They get to be the hero's now. Because they always win. Or think that they do. It's just just .... how pathetic it is to me. Always.





Ha ha laugh it off now. They think they can laugh at everyone else. Till they get laughed at and cry about things like who's a bitch now. That's all they have !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Because it's all they have to do. It's all a funny fun and game .... Until there limit dumb ego gets hurt than it's a crime. It's perfectly normal for them to be allowed to fuck someone over but no one can ever do it to them. Especially someone they consider the dumbest bitch being on the planet. Because they have opinions that others can't have and aren't allowed to or aren't as worthy as them.



And this is the reason why they don't do anything else and can't do anything else for that matter also. I guess they have a label too !!!
But I am crazy because it is what they will say about everyone else that doesn't coddle them ... like an infant. Grow up you fucks that know




goddamn well what you purposely do to others ..... just so you can survive in life somehow. Off of others and at another's expense. Literally too. And will never change and stop the way that they they live off of others to take care of themselves and themselves only. Because in reality .... they are the only one that matters and ever will to themselves.





And then tell others we are together because they say it is so. And they are gonna tell you but you can't tell them.
They have a different standard for everyone else because they only matter not you. How sad that they have to make everyone as




miserable as them. It's just sooo sad to me that I don't even want to be a part of that kind of thing. Do they think they are cool or in with
that only one cool crowd that there could possibly ever only be anywhere at all !!!! They'll tell you that you write too much. They will tell you that you are the stupid




one. They will tell you anything they want to say and just so they can say it. They will tell you it's some kind of code that you must be too dumb to know. And they have all of the answers because everyone else is just too dumb to even know anything at all, anyway.





And they are always the victim not you. Or anyone else. For whatever reason because they are the only being with problems is how they feel maybe. And they will always be the victim. As if no one else in the world was ever victimized. And this so you will have to have pity for them and make it up to them and because you will always owe them. They deserve more and more and more than you ever will. And they just take everything that they can. And then pretend that they are doing you a favor because they are of course the smartest one in the universe and existence. Because they are the one's that have to exist and nothing else really matters but them .... and yes them only. Like they are the only
one.





And ..........now I'm done, finished. Literally too.






Thanks your very much though, and thank you for nothing then also. Is what I say.





Was it worth it. Oh yeah for them. Not my circus and with their flying monkey as well.





Those kind that will get you ousted .... and then say you are the one that didn't want to be there anyway !!!
They speak for you. They plant ideas. With their lies. Sorry but they do. And it's everything that they do.
Sound familiar, of course. Because that is who they are. They fool everyone or try to. And they are good at it.
Like magicians that make themselves the magic and more harder than you can or will ever try to. They fool everyone
that they want to fool. Like snake oil salesmen.

I'm not mad. Ha ha. He he. The yolks on them and their kind. Those Egg heads. I'm just saying it's aggravating when they
get under your skin and it's all that they know again and again and over again. And admit it right to your face and to everyone else.
And ha ha he he. Blah blah blah blah Blee blee. And it's just the reality of it and how it will always be. They will never stop. I never saw anything so annoying. And it's a real live never ending war to them and always will be.




So I pray to anything that I can for their horrible benign passive evil to just quit already. But they won't. They act like they
are some kind of fighting gladiator that is the most righteous of all. But I am done with it. Even if I have to sit and wait to
get ousted for it. But yeah it doesn't and will never have power over me anymore. It won't. And I will never ever let it again.



Sorry that I have to be so conceded now too and better than people that actually think they are the better ones.
But I am worthy of myself then I guess. I guess I have to apologize for that too. Well too bad ... so sad for them then.
Because I am not going to apologize for bullshit.




Because I am done with it and them and their kind. There is so much better than that to my own life. I have self worth.
And that I am capable to go to that extreme to get as far away from it as all possible .... and forever too .... because I can.
If you have to fuckin oust me again and again you are probably doing me a favor ..... in that self centered mindset it is.





So how do you all like that one. Mmm k.

Good question i surely can t answer.

But you know what, I bet they can pretend that they aren't like that too. And real good !!






So yeah, again and again and again, Clapping cheeks for food, shelter or warmth.





That is all.

Sorry if I made some silly typo's too in the pathetic and provoking rant but you know I am not perfect like them. Maybe they can pray for me so I can be perfect like them.
But I know that they don't bow down to anyone or anything. Because nothing will ever make sense and everything can be turned into a conspiracy that they don't understand until of course ..... they want to understand. It's also funny how they really do remember ... what to actually forget. And see I can play the blame game too. But spell check is a difficulty sometimes and I tried. So there. Maybe I can just blame them now or someone ... the way that they do. But of course it just proves to them how I that I am flawed and have a weakness and not above all other humans like themselves.

Yeah I know don't let bother you .... even though they actually can and of course eventually you will have to just give in so they will just fuckin be allowed already. They're just so special. Because I'm just so not ..... and will never be. Yeah compared to them of course and of course and of course. Just let them do what they want. They already told you they are the righteous and privileged ones anyway. Don't even bother because they will keep on going with it till they win and get their own ways.
So just let them have there own way. They themselves wouldn't have it any other way, of course. See what happens when they make you start babbling. They want to make you be and look crazy anyway. Let them have that too. Let them have everything. And it will still never ever ever be enough. And they will still want and will have to always deserve more.


fuckin insane insanity already. Like me or everyone else will beat you up, gang stalk you and not like you for not being one of us .... because they say so. Or they will cry for years until you just get numb to it and give them their own way already. And the pretend again like they don't know that you know so you have to pretend not to know too.
And then it's so confusing that the will just cry real tears about it so of course they can cry over nothing again so that you will have to feel such sympathy for them.




This is what this all amounts to with them. A whole bunch of something about absolutely nothing so they can be someone again and again and again over and over and over
and constantly ... again.



Sorry for the rant but it's their purpose for others to go all wonky over it all and be this way so they can laugh and get another rise from all of it again if you really must know
and of course you must ... for their perspective. I wish the bat shit crazyness of it all can just grow the fuck up some day. But they don't they just get worse. So we all have to go beg for a friend now. Because we don't deserve on of course .... without they're wholeness of permission that they must grant to you.



I have to ignore life now and shut myself out because they say so. And only when they say it should be permitted. And so they and they only can be happy ... as in the happiest and the winners of the whole chicken dinners. Do you know when they ever fuckin stop. They Don't !!!!!

ha ha hehe. Let them be happy now.




Bye, bye.


Because I'm such a nice person. I am toooo. As in also. Why can't I be such a nice person too. Oh because they are the nice ones. Yeah.
That's right. Uh huh. They say so. Not you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You aren't allowed only they are. And I'm gonna put up with that shit. Because fuck me too. They are allowed to fuck you. They say so. So you can't fuck them. Fucking is that important you know. The damn circus fuckers.
They will fuck you in and out of they're circus rings. If you keep lettin them !!!!!! So don't do it. Not because I said it ... but because you did.


It's fun isn't it. This world isn't better that this !!!!!!!!!! Nope. And it never will be. So you mind as well just pray to fuckin jesus. At least you'll have better odds of someone actually giving a free fuck and actually caring. Yeah that's why.


They are all alike. They all do the same g'damn thing. There is always one everywhere. Some way in some form and somehow.

Like who the fuck would waste they're time actually loving someone ( like they all do ) that's so berserk right now. See that's the problem. Just how they want you. Really ha ha hee he. What a mentality that they all have. ... Hint hint. Not the co dependents ... but rather the ones that they depend on. Right.


Something to laugh at now. laugh at now. laugh at now. They're all gonna laugh at you laugh at you laugh at you Carry.


Winky winky Dinky winky. This bitch is crazy .... just right where they want you .... just like they say so. bye now.

 

[kiely]

Well, we bonded !!!

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Well, we bonded !!!

Had to get Matcha, used it all [not the new bag]. But trying to reply,
impossible. But that kinda hold s the meaning. Bonded.

A summary, any one can handle, i only saw half the Podcast ?!
The question on what you choose, fake friends or standing alone.
The teller has a preference for the last.

To me that seem s a personal choice. I would have left it open.
But fake friends, and while not knowing about it.

That hurt s. The truth is way less hard, but these people.
Live in a different state of mind, politeness.
Is one thing that comes to mind and lies.
And when you find out yourself it s disappointing.

They will never be straight forward, in a polite fashion.
While you shared intimate confession s, in the past ?

Edit: my confession afaik sign of the Devil,
what it represent s for you ?

My favorit as i couldn t find any negativ connected connotation .
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connotation

 

[Vastness]

I garbled the ending of my earlier post and meant to go on lol so I'll get to that shortly... I also think based on some replies since that I kinda garbled what I meant to say, again it's been a spangly day and as a traumatised co-dependent myself I have that sometimes wrong assumption that I'm authorised to speak authoritatively about people whose lives are very different to mine.

Anyway, firstly, @kiely - I don't think I'm gonna disagree with anything you say - but let me see where I might have implied something else...

Isn't [when codependent people are actively being exploited ... trauma bonding somehow though. When someone intentionally looks for someone that is weak and vulnerable and maybe sick or high so they can easily be manipulated into being controlled because they are going to be rescued by that someone who is actually looking to find all of their weaknesses as an easy way to

benefit from this all when it works out so perfectly for them. Because someone happens to fall for it for one reason or another or they are vulnerable from the way they get trapped and tricked into it. Because now they are stuck into the whole game for someone else's own benefit to use them for whatever they can get. Because

that's all that they know and is the life that they live. To find someone to prey off of and feel big and strong. And then say that the vulnerable one is the one that wants them too, because they are the one's that are so very very co-dependent to begin with. Because they then get manipulated and get stuck deep into it even more and the other person must now become convinced they are in fact the bully instead even though they were weak and vulnerable in the first place. Only to be told that they now are the problem ... while the perp is waiting for the next victim to come around that might have something better or just for the thrill of the fact that they know how to manipulate so well and is their game because it is all that

Yeah... this is what happens. It's fucked up...

When I was deep in my own soul-destroying "friendship" phrases like co-dependent and narcissit weren't really thrown around at all - but ceetrainly they can be another weapon. Actually that said the narcissist I used to know who made me hate myself, when things were almost done and I was just grey-rocking during a phone call, the dude was like "you know I think you and me are in a MUTUALLY CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP... heh I mean yeah it's somewhat true I guess. All narcissists are codependent - in a way - unburdened by the empathically-oriented moral compasses of the typical codependent who is not pathologically narcissistic. For the narcissists, if the ends (having created a perfectly loyal, permanent subject and sycophant) then the means are justified, probably fucking deserved, how dare this person not immediately grovel to their greatness...

If we wanna push the boat of bothsides out properly which I guess I started - then...although, to be clear! There are no 2 sides here. In the context of this discussion, the sides are the absolute sociopathic selfish cunts who make every else's life worse, and the people who are just wanting to be liked. But yeah if we wanna push that boat out we can find easier that codependents can often possess many narcissistic traits. For one though, everyone does, no one is perfect, there are some thnigs we just need to accept so as not to be the escalator. But there's a limit, it's generally a unspoken limit though because we all like to think we're pretty reasonable people and so are most of the people we're likely to meet. In fact - although I do greatly respect and admire the general nonconfrontational nature of civil society in the West, IMO tolerating narcisstic behaviours - even lower level ones - is a token gesture, shockingly exploitable, and shockingly weak.... andit is something that is exploited to such horrifying aptitude by the Narcissism 101 into edict and core prinriple (I just made that up - but this is , DARVO - Deflect (you're being angry about nothing), Attack (you always pick fights with me, nothing I do is every good enough!), Reverse-Victim-and-Offender ("it's just abusive, you saying you feel like I'm abusing you" ...a direct quote from my one-time "friend")

they do and the only thing they know and live for. Because it's just what they just do. And they don't even know they are doing it because it's what they do completely intentionally and is in fact exactly all they know. But they don't even know they do it. That's how good they are at it. It's just automatic.

Ah yes, the narcissist reality distortion field. Anything I did wrong? Didn't happen. Oh, it did happen? It didn't happen like that. DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?! Are you calling me a LIAR?!"

I will say though... you can break though this, sometimes. You can stand your ground and demonstrate irrefutable fact. But if you do this, it will be taken as a grave insult, and you will be punished for it later. (Maybe I need to check my privilege here too.. not everyone can even try,,,

Because it is what their life is like and the environment that they are from. And they will never know or even realize it because they don't want to and they never will. So they do it naturally because it is in fact their nature too. Yeah, and just because they think someone is that dumb ... because they think they can tell them everything they want to hear because that's what they just do and think someone else is that stupid too and they will just fall for it all and then try to convince them that they can be anyone that they want them to be or say anything they think that someone else wants to hear to try to control them. When they just lie '... about who they are because they don't even know who they are themselves. That kind of deal. So that they can use and abuse anyone and take away their identity too and make them look like a piece of excrement too and because they want to get there own way for their own benefit and their own benefit only and on and on and on.

You are losing me a little here. Nature/nurture, yeah, but most abusive narcissists had fucked up childhoods, and it's a sliding scale, some are more aware than others. Some will seek therapy, talk about their neglectful parents (typically to be able to easily play the victim card, and for more validation, which they will often get from therapy. Therapisfs generally will not tell someone flat out that they are a narcissist, unless they are specially trained, which doesnt happen often given how fiew narcissists realise or have accepted what they are. I had one (again, direct quote) say "I've been told there's literally notthing else he can do for me, I'm in such optimal psychological health." ...which was pretty fucking wild. But, he also spoke to me often about his ambandonment issues and how many people have abandoned him (I knew then that I'd be next)...

I think we may have had slightly different experiences although certainly no more or less fucked up and awful all round shit in terms of the exact flavour of the narcissits we knew. But actually fuck I dunno why I'm acting like I'm disageeing... some more choice quotes from a certain cunt when I'd flat out said I was out, not gonna be dealing with this shit (less bluntly then than now, sadly).
- "Vastness, it's not about you, I don't respect anyone at all! Except you! You're the only person I respect."
- "I don't see any problem with lying, I lie all the time."
- "'I'm SUCH a good manipulator (giggles almost)."

Like... what the fuck? Why would you think I'd ever trust you after hearing that, even if I did before? (Fortunately, I already didn't).

Totally to get there own way and anything and I do mean anything and everything else they can get out of the relationship to use someone else, like someone is actually an insect or just a nobody now and a nothing more than a thing and a used up one now too and never was --- someone at all, not even a real person to begin with, and then survive and thrive from it and all of this all and getting their great big giant I can do what ever I want ego off of and from them all, until they win the game with whom ever they can get to fall for it at the time until something better comes along. Yeah that's how they hunt someone down. Oh yeah it happens in families through marriages as well. Okay I will give them that much too. There now they have it. Something to have on someone else. To one up them. And to always have something on someone else. So someone else can suffer and feel as bad as them if not worse to make themselves feel happier then.

Live and learn. I guess. And what we have to do and go through to learn our lessons for the consequences for letting it happen too.

In other words it's just someone looking for weakness to have power and control over someone else.

And yeah just to get their own damn way and burn someone else. To feel so superior to them. But they make sure they look good to everyone else.

Because it's always someone else's fault for everything every time too.
Never ever ever their fault. Always something else or someone else.

And that IS NOT a healthy way of being or having a healing life somehow either. Or plain and simple .....
to actually be around it either. So ....

If narcissists gravitated to insects as hosts, yeah, no brainer world would be a better place. All the other stuff you said - yeah. I've witnessed this firsthand in my friend group. 3 of us at different points all though we were best friends, we were all kinda shy in different ways, not reclusive as such but... alternative kids I guess. I stuck around for the longest, either I'm the most codependent, idiotic, or both. Funnily enough, everyone else in our immediate social circle couldn't stand the guy....

Sorry you said some other stuff which I broadly also agreed with but I gotta fuckin' go to bed, I didn't actually watch a video, maybe I didn't read the OP properly, I really didn't want to come accross as some kinda narcissist advocate - I meant specifically to point out care needed when discussing personality disorders. A codependency diagnosis isn't a value judgement on a person, it's just a vulnerability to codependency. Same with narcissim in a sense... except a VULNERABILITY TO NARCISSISM, if caught early enough, means state of the art institutionalization, probably, in humane facilities that help them understand how not to be cunts.

There ARE recovered narcissists, supposedly. It's shockingly rare, but it can happen. Ultimately....

Look, I do find it a struggle. There's a certain person I really wouldn't mind if he died. I made my life a lot harder bailing on a pretty successful midsize business because... just seeing this dude's face every day... the expectation, the praise, followed by hint that I should take compliments more exuberantly, text back faster, keep my phone on me... mind, we were the only 2 directors in a tiny office, so this is all clearly batshit.

I really tried to trat him like a normal person. I'd apologies for some minor thing that was my fault - but typical social mores in navigating delicate human interactions backfire when dealing with narcissists. Apologies or concessions aren't met with compassion, but with "YEAH, YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING SORRY!" and 20 minutes more rehashing the same to the point you wonder why you bothered....

Christ, fuck, I do gotta sleep. But I wanna say more. This topic is important to me and I was maybe too spangled to engage with it when I did. I do think if narcissim cannot be effectively treated in dedicated, human centeres, then, unfortunately for the narcissist, then in an ideal world they'd be destined only for incarceration (in a specialist, humane facility, even if they don't seem to deserve humane treatment, if we allow our dark need for vengeance to win out).



Aaaand just briefly, regarding my earlier post:
I think presumably I meant to write "I probably would be diagnosed with the almost unheard of "Codependent Personality Disorder" - instead of the spangly gibberish that came out. Even though now I'd consider myself NOT actively codependent in any way and extremely wary of Dark Triad, probing personalities, I am not 100% confident that the exact right exactly wrong kind of person could latch on to that latent need for external validation, to be helpful, that nothing you (I) do matters if you (I) aren't doing it for someone else's benefit.... wouldn't it be easier just to trust in someone (or something) that speaks the right words, and projects undeniable power...? (Please do take that sarcastically but there's a nugget of codependent truth in it, I think - there's also an unsubtle political jibe there, if you missed it.)

The science is there - people who are sure they're right over whatever fuckin' dodgy ScIEnTiSt who said we should vaccinate kids for measles can get fucked... but more importantly, are more likely to be absolutely fine with just fucking people over, inflicting trauma, and generally just trying to revive the aristocracy, a group of elites of which it is their god given right to be a part. People with strong belief in hierarchical division of human society where some are just better and some people are just less, have less to no empathy for others, have no true value system beyond the idea that the status quo that benefits them or SHOULD benefit them (and they all believe it eventually will) should be maintained, and valued above more innately human values like, I dunno, what kind of behaviours or laws or ways to treat people will lead to greater human happiness and flourishing? Narcissists and abusers are massively overrepresented in these groups, for obvious reasons, and is one reason of many why society resists greater accountability for narcissistic crimes.

Anyway... I dunno why, I feel like I answered a bit kinda critically earlier but it's obvious why you posted and I'm nitpicking. I sympathise a lot, codependency made manifest by especiallly deep entanglements with the other side of the triad is oertly traumatizing behind closed doors, or even in the open, maybe more subtle if, sh, fuck I dunno... these Fucking Hateful people come in all shapes and sizes. And the outcome for their victims is generally not good. Honeslty... it's fucked to say coz my own "abuser" who was once my best friend, platonically, heh, dude from my early childhood... I used to idly think, wouldn't it be easier if he just died.

 

[Vastness]

I may be misreading this...But if it is a 'them' problem, then realising that is exactly what they need (not so much being told - granted, but being provided with the right space/conditions in which to realise this themselves.

Am finding the recent trend towards pathologising the majority of the human psyche irksome. They're coming up with a new 'disorder' every couple of weeks it seems. Oh, but not to worry..."We can treat that" smh.

Bored and looking outta the window? - Disorder! (nah, it's boring, so bore off, heh)
Don't agree with what Donald is saying? - Disorder! (anti-authority disorder) aagh.

Am off-topic, apols. (Off topic disorder?)

I don't think I represented what I actually think very well at all in my earlier reply in many ways but I don't think you misunderstood this bit specifically... sure, yes, narcissists (and other "difficult" personality types) need to be fucking told what they are, the impact of how they live, treat others, and that they are REQUIRED TO FIND A WAY TO CHANGE or they will live their lives enmired in bitterness and hatred, losing friends left and right until they die angry and alone. But psychiatry is a science very much in it's infancy, and the current state of mental health support in even first world countries is just not equipped to do this. Like, how would it be done? Most Dark Triad types are heavily resistant to therapy anyway and being told something they just don't like will lead to them never coming back, a lot of the time. These people also are very manipulative, and therapists are only human and no matter how skilled not completely immune to this manipulation. For that reason, couples counselling when one partner is a narcissist can be a particularly bad idea because the narcissist may be capable of manipulating the therapist to the point that they now have even more control over their unfortunate victim's state of mind, this latter person, entering into the arrangement in good faith, feeling progressively more like perhaps everything IS their fault! Even the therapist said so!

It would need to be mandatory to have any impact, such as occasionally happens in prisons - this is not without it's own problems because just the coercion soils the therapeutic process somewhat.