Thanks so much for replying!
I know that one must be careful when mixing downers and uppers, but thats the only way I do it for a long time now. I get anxious very easily, so if I don't take a decent anxiolytic first, it will most certainly ruin the experience for me. I get nervous, paranoid, fear, and introspective, no matter how long i've been on a break. I used to avoid benzos, but now I just gave up, cause I truly need them in certain occasions.