Treatment Update

[Juicewrldfan]

Hi All,

This might not be the appropriate forum so please feel free to move as you see fit mods.

I just wanted to update everyone. I was touched after I saw people wondering about me when i saw my notifications so thought I should update.

I apologize for not letting everyone know I was leaving for awhile but it happened somewhat suddenly. I was completely out of control and my therapist said I was in need of medical stabilization for ultra-rapid cycling. Yeah that’s a real term used in psychiatry and apparently isn’t uncommon when people with bipolar disorder abuse meth.

So she forced me inpatient with threats of probating me if I didn’t go so I went. I’m glad I went now. First, I ended up at a slum treatment center for drugs and alcohol and then they transferred me to a mental health facility that was beautiful and relaxing. It was like a 3 million dollar house out in the skirts of Newark, Ohio. If you are from central Ohio you know where that is.

There was only 4 patents there and it truly was a beautiful thing with a deck overlooking a pond and TVs with all the streaming services. See a psych once a week.

I wish I’d have stayed but the single therapist they had there and myself did not get along let’s say. She was trying to force “inner child “ work on everyone and that’s deep trauma work. One can’t force deep trauma work on someone. That takes a strong therapeutic binder and she was forcing herself passed my boundaries.

For example, one guy was there because he needed help grieving his son who died a couple months ago. She forced him to work on his childhood instead. So she just was not a good therapist but I could have played the game, I just don’t like playing the game. I like being authentic and me. I don’t do that kinda thing.

She also had a naturopath doctor come out to see us who are tinctures that supposedly captured the energy of certain flowers and said it would treat my adhd and nightmares LOL. I lost all and any respect I had for this therapist after that since it was her idea.

I did get stabilized on meds though while I was there and free from meth which I haven’t returned to.

Sure, sometimes I get the delusion pop into my head that I can take adhd meds as prescribed but I know that’s not true so I’m not pursuing that and even gave my therapist consent to talk to my provider to tell them I abuse the meds and not to prescribe them to me.

She is calling them today or tomorrow she says and it’s taking a lot of willpower to not revoke my consent because she will burn my one connection for legal stimulants. And I still wonder if I can take them as prescribed sometimes now that I’m fairly stable.

Yet, I’m not convinced so have not revoked the consent.

So I’m getting back at the work force and just working on staying healthy mentally and physically. Actually sounds kinda boring lol as I’m addicted to thrills more than anything.

And I’m not a fan of bipolar meds. Im
Not convinced I have bipolar disorder. I wonder if it’s just stimulant abuse.

But I’m taking them begrudgingly so…

I guess that’s about it really. Nothing exciting going on here. I will say I’m not going to use the abstinent model of addiction treatment. I can’t see not taking anything at all but stims are completely off the table indefinitely. I’m not really a fan after reading about their effect on the heart in sub therapeutic doses and well free radicals/aging.

I’ll likely switch over to naltrexone for 6 days then take Keaton for a few them back to to naltrexone for 6 days then kratom for a few. And then weed on holidays. That’s it for me tho.

Well take care ya’ll I’ll likely pop on here here and there but I won’t be living here anymore.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

I feel the same about bupre, and every time I get 8 mg, I am every day user in under 2 weeks. Low therapeutic doses insufflated, but anyway, every 8 mg I have destroyed faster than the previous one, so, there is only one outcome that could be realistically extrapolated, and it is lot of side effects, addiction behaviour and finally, barely any therapeutic effect.

My only episode in life where I had very clear-cut clinical manic episodes was when I was abusing amphetamine(s) in totally irresponsible, ignorant way. Nothing like that has emerged before or after. And I mean extreme overwhelming mania even with no significant amount of drugs in system. I can get bit hyper sometimes, but I doubt there is nothing in me that could be classified as bipolar now I don't do that stuff regularly anymore.