update if anyone gives a fuck..... *crazy laugh*

Yeah I know no one gives a shit about my shit or what I am going through, cause I'm an annoying repetative "clingy" internet nobody...

My daughter is still "Missing", if she doesn't show by 3:30pm it will be her missing 24hrs.

Lawter said I can basically do nothing at all except file an emergy court order (i forget the term right now) and the child advocate would assess it and such.... yadda yadda....and I STILL might not be able to get her.

Basically I am fucked unless he has raped her or broken a bone or leaves the country with her.


I am still totally emotionally fucked.

Still no one cares.

and still I have nothing to get me fucked on to forget everything for 1 day so I can mellow out.

Oh well..... I'm just a loser.

Who cares about me. FTW.


I You Princess
I You Austin
I you D

Fuck..... I even love my family though they don't give a shit.

I guess another day or tears, coffee, maybe I'll eat today...who knows....

Maybe I'll just sleep the day away and wish for death again.

No one would miss me..... right.


Nope.

Well my son..... but he has his dad, he'd get over it easy enough.....he's young enough.

Yeah, I got nothing to take to kill myself or get high, or spun, or nod or anything..... I suck balls...

I don't even trust anyone enough to get all fucked with..... only 1 person.... my bru.... but he hates me..... so yeah.... I guess no getting fucked this weekend.

I dunno....

He doesn;t even read my Blog anyhow..... so how would he even know....

meh well....


I'll stay home and suck as usual.

 

I hope things look up for you soon.

 

I wish you weren't so down on yourself, crevan. You're a very sweet person. You need a boost of confidence to get you through the rough times, and that boost cannot come from another person, it is already in YOU.

If you let your mothering instincts take over and continue to make both your children your priority, you will no doubt notice other positive changes in your life. Your friendships will improve. Your cravings to use drugs (which don't mix with kids) will decrease. I wish I knew fuck-all about the law in your area but if you believe your counsel is not effectively representing your or your daughter's best interests, then there has got to be a way to petition for a substitution of your lawyer with someone more competent (or more likely, less overloaded).

Make yourself a nice cup of tea and gather your thoughts and your strength. Can you file a special missing persons' report after 24h like we can in the US? Shit, there would be an Amber Alert for your little girl out on our highways and radios and the Internet...

My heart continues to be with you.

 

i was told by several people.....involved with CAS (CPS for USA peeps) and my lawyer and other law wise people that since she's been in custody of him for 8yrs.....as long as he hasn;t broken a bone, or raped her, or left the country.....i can do fuck all. Except call the CAS worker and keep him informed of the lack or visitations.

Basically been told I'm Fucked.


I'm tryubg to stay strong, but its hard when all my friends have abandoned me and my ex who i live with has been angry and yelling at me.....my son acting up cause he can sense all the tension and sadness. To top it off SHE confided in him, so he knows things that probably no 4yr old should know...... he has had hard time sleeping since then.....sometimes waking up screaming.

Its been hard.... but i am trying....and will continue to try.

I just wish my IRL friends were here to support me, to be here for me, to even just sit and assure me......like you so kindly did.....and a "stranger" at that.

No one has been here for me really....so its been very hard.


thanks tho Mari for your kind words and if you are a relatious or spirtual person keep my kid in your prayers that she will turn up soon. If that's not asking too much.


Thanks again.