"up all nite, sleep all day"

[frostyangel]

rolling over..
to notice the
clock reads
1:00pm.

Shower?

I look in the
mirror.. I don't
think that my hair
could stick up any
higher.

Still didn't wipe
off the make up
from last nite.

So of course it's
smeared down my cheeks

I scratch my head
whoa.. stink...
I put my arm back
down..

I know the gargling
in my stomach isn't
going to stop..

alcohol is such an evil
friend..

It explains the gut I
see when I look down..

Man am I bitter..
if you come near me
I just might bite
your head off...

So, I don't speak..
as I am walking down
the hallway scratchin
my ass

I got this feeling
that I need to be
better..

But, I don't want
to believe it for
others...

only for me..

no one lives in this
crazy ol' head of mine.

So I dazzle with the
devil.. hoping that
in a miracle it could
all just fix itself..

I got the flame.. but
I don't got the fire..

And I realize that
I can fight all these
things inside me..

I just want to
discover why I
am not motivated
enough to believe
in the things that
I could achieve..

Woke up this morning..

Could of went to the
gym..

But, I went back to
sleep.

Finally washed all
those clothes I almost
forgotten I had.

But, I never ended up
putting them away.

So, I'll just shuffle
them slowly through
the house..

Believing that I have
nothing to wear ..

I called and made
that doctors appointment
you made me promise
to make..

But, I got to drunk
the nite before..

Still don't feel well

I told you that I
would hang out today

But, I was lazy..

Always making those
damn promises that
I can't keep..

I have potential
to be something
important..

put off school another
semester

I don't know what
to say.. I didn't have
a reason..

Just an excuse.

Maybe, I'm just afraid.
And what to see the real
me.. and I won't allow
myself to finish.. or
accomplish the important
details of my life..

And at 25, you would
think that I would
want to grow up.

But, haha...

And all I see are these things
within my eyes

And I can't speak the words
that would allow you to invade
my privacy...

 

[cherub]

Oh honey honey honey.
I soooo feel you, I may not be on that level right now but i have been there several times before. It is such a hard road and a road you are not even sure how or when to take.

I loved this,,,, honestly i dont think is is the best you have written, but is the that is what makes it. Your right, probably no words for the thoughts and feelings you have, But that is what made this work.

It was raw and totally honest.

I love it.

~ Cin