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I had a really beautiful post I wanted to write about what my soul looked like. Who I truly am. But I don't have the strength in me anymore to write it. It feels like a lie when I'm feeling the way I am.

The tears just roll down my face as though I can't control them. I said I wasn't going to cry, it was stupid to cry over. But it happens anyway. I still say I'm not crying cause I'm not committing to it. I don't want to.
I hurt a lot. And it seems that no one knows, or no one cares. My troubles and heartache are laughable.

I feel like I'm coming unhinged. I know I just have to pull it back together. I just wish I could could be honest with you guys (BL) when once in awhile I really do hurt. But I fear the reaction of "oh its "Old PT" fuck that. We hate you.
Please remember I'm still human.
I'm not always happy go lucky and PLUR. Nor am I Emo. I am not to be labeled.
I am human and I have feelings and right now I feel so sad and lost and I guess my blog is the only place I can try to get it out.
Try to keep it from eating me alive.

The tears come more now. Still not committing to this crying bullshit. But at least I can hope its all this is a little cathartic, or something...

 

I know it's hard (I often feel the same), but try not to let your fear of people's reactions stop you from posting about how you're feeling. People change and evolve, and anyone who thinks "oh it's just the Old PT" really needs to stop being so judgemental and closed-minded. Speak your mind and don't worry what people think.