Untitled

[keeping]

This silence of me at times
is nourishing, no social alterations
can bring my mind to decide.
Read out my words, at night, alone.
The Holy document of poetic law.
Take license in solitude;
flames of loneliness lick
the ice flow around the mind
and thaws.

 

[zephyrhigh]

Lovely....

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I would change the last line to "which thaws", but it's still an amazing piece, thank you for sharing

 

[keeping]

I would change the last line to "which thaws", but it's still an amazing piece, thank you for sharing

really? i felt 'which' would be a bit of an unnecessary pronoun; the heat itself implies a coming thaw. but that's just being a minimalist and a but doolally at the moment, but appreciate your input like always there bud.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

It probably is unnecessary

I get superfluous with words as a writer

Still a beautiful piece

 

[keeping]

You're writing is great also; nothing like a little embellishment to really draw the reader into the world you're crafting about then.

Any more opinions would be greatly appreciated!