untitled

[someone]

( This poem is from the past... Im so much in love and these feelings have subsided, but I know that at one point I felt them and that there are others out there... this is for you... )
I feel nothing
and I almost hate myself for it...
is this inhuman.....?
am I just a silhouette of who I used to be
I wish that I could tell you that I love you....
and for you to truly mean it also
I wish that I could hold you in my arms
and feel them melt around your body....
a perfect fit...
why is it that I have lost my will to believe
does that make me more....or less free
I was hoping for an answer....a sign.....
a meaning in all of this catastrophe...
my hope has failed me
or is it that I fail myself
in my little world of make belief
of plastic dolls, and my created cast
this movie that I try to fool my self into thinking I am directing
plotting my own course....
because it feels safer that way....
If I am to believe that I am in control
.....the truth is so far from that reality
and you have done nothing wrong
or have you done anything at all?
I want to think that I have made a difference
....that me being here has done more then
play on your heart strings
I no longer wish to be in this symphony
I no longer wish to put all of my hopes in another person
and I no longer want to be hurt,
for I am no longer wirtting this script
and I hate to face the truth that I never really was....
when I look at all the pieces...
I have to face that I am still here
even when you were with me....
I was on my own
the place I hate most to be...
I wonder if I will ever love anyone at all
and if you will love me...
I heard another say last night,
that no one feels love...
that they have never felt it..
.....it's sad that I could see myself relating
It's not that I agree.......
it just strips my insides and scrapes at the last
of the pretty picture left on the wall
that to think....even for a moment....that every wall you build....
someday has to fall
so what is really the point at all....
I want to love you....
please understand,
I want to think the best of you...
and remember you as a friend
... I really wish it were more...
I do not know what time will bring
or if I will repair all of my broken dreams
...put them in a basket
take them with me....
or leave them behind
I want to think that this world is a good place
that it's not all plastic
and that everything broken
someday is put back together
in the hands of children or in the arms of another
I want to think that we will be put back together...
I want to think that you can see
right through me...
know that I am afraid....
I want to believe that one time....
when I was little....
that I was truly happy
....that I will be happy again
with or without....
here or there...
that I will belong
that I will be whole
that this empty feeling will disappear
just like my fear
that I will no longer want for more then my heart can hold..that I will be truly loved...
loved so much....that I can love you in return

 

[skywise]

Wow. This is the best/my favorite poem of all the ones i've read on bluelight so far. Its beautiful...I've rarely seen poems that convey emotion so well.

 

[E-girl]

this is really heartfelt and, (dont take this word to be as plain as it really is) pretty.

I wish that I could tell you that I love you....
"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often
when I loved, I did not say so." ~David Grayson
I live by those words.
[ 13 November 2002: Message edited by: E-girl ]

 

[KAZ]

Furnace and I just had a conversation about your writing, someone.
We both thought you were a pseudonym of eachother.
kelly says:
you don't use an pseudonym on BL in words, do you?
rockets fall on rocket falls says:
besides XXX?
kelly says:
yes.
rockets fall on rocket falls says:
No. I sometimes think you use one in words as well.
rockets fall on rocket falls says:
remember when you thought I was 'living in solitude'?
kelly says:
Who is it, if I may ask. I think it'd be funny if we though it was the same person.
rockets fall on rocket falls says:
you first.
kelly says:
...same time...
kelly says:
LOL
kelly says:
"someone"
rockets fall on rocket falls says:
we are too much alike, you know.
rockets fall on rocket falls says:
I thought you were someone too.
kelly says:
shut up.
rockets fall on rocket falls says:
yah
kelly says:
my writing is not that good.
Weird, huh?

 

[Furnace]

 

[out_there]

I really love this , your writing always touches us around here something you need to keep up and Im happy to hear that your life has pieced itself together