Crow
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2000
- Messages
- 8,635
Just a rant...
So this is were I find myself…you know that unwanted grey area in your life, the times when you wish your brain had an off switch. Two parallel trains of thought both intersecting at one point in time, this particular point in time. I should have seen this coming, and just sat by the wayside and watched as the two dump trucks of emotion play chicken. See which one would win the fight. Anguish or Love. The loss of one while gaining another… I hate this feeling. I hate this guilt. I look in hindsight to one while I look toward the future with another. Trying so hard not to overlap the two, but attempting that is futile. How can one do both at the same time? How is this possible? Trying to recover from something that made sense and at the same time seeing something that makes sense. Almost drives a man insane, but hey that is all a state of mind, right? When anguish calls all I feel is a dry bed of facts given out because I feel compelled to while when Love calls I feel that rush. You know that rush you get when your heart races and your face becomes flush. Letting go and acquiring is hard to do alone, let alone at the same time. Guilt and happiness are hard too, especially in equal doses injected into your system at once. Is this normal? Can I overcome this? Will I be better or worse? Why am I thinking about this? Shouldn’t I just let it go and take things as they come? Maybe, but destruction and creation of feelings are so hard to deal with, especially when they happen at the same time.
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"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to accept and tolerate those differences."
**~Offical Intern of the Soulfly Broadcasting System~**
Friendship
Unity
Caring
Kindness
So this is were I find myself…you know that unwanted grey area in your life, the times when you wish your brain had an off switch. Two parallel trains of thought both intersecting at one point in time, this particular point in time. I should have seen this coming, and just sat by the wayside and watched as the two dump trucks of emotion play chicken. See which one would win the fight. Anguish or Love. The loss of one while gaining another… I hate this feeling. I hate this guilt. I look in hindsight to one while I look toward the future with another. Trying so hard not to overlap the two, but attempting that is futile. How can one do both at the same time? How is this possible? Trying to recover from something that made sense and at the same time seeing something that makes sense. Almost drives a man insane, but hey that is all a state of mind, right? When anguish calls all I feel is a dry bed of facts given out because I feel compelled to while when Love calls I feel that rush. You know that rush you get when your heart races and your face becomes flush. Letting go and acquiring is hard to do alone, let alone at the same time. Guilt and happiness are hard too, especially in equal doses injected into your system at once. Is this normal? Can I overcome this? Will I be better or worse? Why am I thinking about this? Shouldn’t I just let it go and take things as they come? Maybe, but destruction and creation of feelings are so hard to deal with, especially when they happen at the same time.
------------------
"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to accept and tolerate those differences."
**~Offical Intern of the Soulfly Broadcasting System~**
Friendship
Unity
Caring
Kindness
