:: untitled (maybe i'll call it Ode Not To Be My Parents) ::

[bisKi]

i see my parents
sitting in the lounge room
when realisation dawned
my parents don't know me
i don't know them either
strangers we are
in the house
we live together

given away to be raised
from infanthood
only seeing me
whenever they could
my brother was born
not long after
they took time out
to raise him
they didn't need a sitter

so that started years of hate
self-loathing and wonder
"is there something wrong with me,
or am i just a foster?"
am i overlooked just because
i'm only a daughter?

those thoughts and feelings
bubbled like a festering blister
to the point where i almost
ended it with a cutter
luckily good sense prevailed
i left behind those ugly thoughts
unwanted feelings curtailed

it's been 10 years since i felt that way
that's good because that's
how the soul decays
I look now at my parents
strangers in this house
can't remember the last time
we actually talked, except to joust


*note* ~ it's a bit grating towards the end (apologies). What's trying to be said is I'm happy with me now, and using my parents as examples of not to be in life.

 

[smileyfish]

(((Hugs)))

Nice work bisKi - and I can empathise somewhat. Good job pulling through it all and realising you don't want to be that way.

{{{more hugs}}}

Smiley

 

[frostyangel]

Woah.. sweetie.. I sware you are my twin on the other side..

The more I read, the more things in my mind compare.. you and I are very simular. I wish we could meet in real life..

HugZ* take care!!!

 

[mr_fluffy]

love you sweetie.

'tis ok kiddo, you're with me now.

*takes bisKi away from bad parents*