Well, I'm back again. I seem to frequent the site only when I'm kicking dope. I guess if I can't do my drugs, I might as well talk about them.
I actually had almost 2 years of no illicit drug use, however I was on methadone so I wasn't really "clean". But, in that time I kept a full time job and stayed out of trouble.
Then 8 months ago, I got laid off as the casino I worked for closed. Right after this, my wife and I seperated. And 2 months later she moved to California. During this time, I had unemployment and still managed to pay my clinic bill. After my unemployment ended, I could no longer afford methadone and was "detoxed" off at 5mg/day. Also, my adderall doc decided that he was no longer writing scripts for adderall anymore, so I lost both of meds at the same time. Plus, I lost my extra income I made selling 1/2 my script each month. I had intended to use that money to pay for my methadone, else I would have done a proper detox.
So, w/o my meds, ofcourse I got way sick and started using. About a week into this, a good friend of my wife and I, was killed after a car ran him over. I told my wife this, and she immediately came home for services and all. And ofcourse, my wife just assumed I'd take her back since she knows I'm a pushover and love her. (We had a similar breakup-seperate-makeup 4 years ago)
Fast forward to today. My wife is in county after turning herself in on an old VOP charge. I'm sitting in my parents house, alone every day in my childhood room (I'm 33!) having been kicking dope/methadone the last 3 weeks. No job, no plans, no desire to keep going, depressed, going insane.
And BTW: It sucks that they can just kick you off methadone that quick. As much as it sucks, it kept me grounded and sane.
/rant
I actually had almost 2 years of no illicit drug use, however I was on methadone so I wasn't really "clean". But, in that time I kept a full time job and stayed out of trouble.
Then 8 months ago, I got laid off as the casino I worked for closed. Right after this, my wife and I seperated. And 2 months later she moved to California. During this time, I had unemployment and still managed to pay my clinic bill. After my unemployment ended, I could no longer afford methadone and was "detoxed" off at 5mg/day. Also, my adderall doc decided that he was no longer writing scripts for adderall anymore, so I lost both of meds at the same time. Plus, I lost my extra income I made selling 1/2 my script each month. I had intended to use that money to pay for my methadone, else I would have done a proper detox.
So, w/o my meds, ofcourse I got way sick and started using. About a week into this, a good friend of my wife and I, was killed after a car ran him over. I told my wife this, and she immediately came home for services and all. And ofcourse, my wife just assumed I'd take her back since she knows I'm a pushover and love her. (We had a similar breakup-seperate-makeup 4 years ago)
Fast forward to today. My wife is in county after turning herself in on an old VOP charge. I'm sitting in my parents house, alone every day in my childhood room (I'm 33!) having been kicking dope/methadone the last 3 weeks. No job, no plans, no desire to keep going, depressed, going insane.
And BTW: It sucks that they can just kick you off methadone that quick. As much as it sucks, it kept me grounded and sane.
/rant