Unrequited Love, Loneliness, Depression

[InfernalWish]

A thousand days have passed since I fell in love with her and almost as many since she broke my heart. I continued to see her until last year, hoping, dreaming I could hold her in my arms and kiss her. She is gone now though, I will never see her again. Funny how I almost killed myself because of that, the scars will remain for my time on this earth. It has gotten easier these days, the stains of time have whitewashed the memories. I know it's all my fault. It's not that much of a problem anymore.

The problem is, its been almost a decade and I'm still alone. Out of the frying pan and into the fire so to speak. No matter how hard I try talking to girls, it never seems to lead anywhere. It's becoming quite unbearable and its effecting my life quite severely. Hobbies can only fill so much time. At the end of the day, I'm still lonely and miserable. It's only a matter of time before the weight of the world crushes me. I wish I was one of those people that can be happy single but I'm not. For some reason that's how I draw all my strength. I havent had sex in so long I'll prolly fuck it up if it does happen, thats another one of my fears. I'm worried if I don't change this soon, this year will be my last. I'm not sure if I even have any questions, just looking for advice I guess, if anyone cares to help a lonely soul.

 

[MrCookiE]

Man the fuck up! Stop being so depressed, because thats what it seems like you are to me. Think positive, do you know about the power of positive thinking? Your the only one who can turn it around, turn your negative thoughts into a positive.
It's like trying to help someone with a drug addiction, I can tell you how to do things, show you how to do things but at the end of the day it's down to you to do them. Don't give a fuck about what other people have got or what they are doing, and realise that history is history, and not to be rude but she ain't comming back. You can never go back and change history, but you can start from now and make a new ending. Let things go and life/things will become easier.

 

[Beachcat]

I don't think it is too helpful to be as harsh as the above poster, but I do agree that you sound depressed. Have you considered any type of therapy.

The thing is, if you depend on a mate to make you happy or complete you, you will be let down EVERY SINGLE TIME, because people are imperfect by nature.

The most ironic thing is, if you work on becoming happy with yourself and satisfied with your life as it stands, then you will probably attract someone.

If you feel like life sucks, go out and do things for yourself. Work on yourself and the rest will follow

 

[llama112]

You have to make a change. Find happiness in yourself, not one woman.

 

[Shrooms00087]

You sound dependent and since you have no one to depend on (in the aspect of love) perhaps you should start focusing on why you feel the need to be dependent on another person's love.

 

[InfernalWish]

Man up? Yeah I've tried that. Doesn't seem to be working too well though. I'm bipolar and when I go into the down mood, thers nothing I can really do to get out of it. I can thank that for my opiate addiction. I'm on meds too, but they dont seem to help much. I don't expect people to understand my situation but I am trying to make things better. Tend to get overwhelmed frequently though. She is gone, yeah, Im accepting that. It's the aftermath I'm having alot of trouble with.
Your right beachcat, humans are imperfect by nature but I was never seeking perfection. I accept everyone, faults and all. I wish I could find happiness in myself but right now I can't. It seems like this is what I need to move forward. Almost everyone around me has someone and seem happy in most cases. It's something I've always been missing. I know its gonna have its ups and downs but I have this overwhelming feeling I something like this to go forward. Anyway, thanks for posting guys. /rant off/

 

[GeorgeChristia]

Oh my friend, get up. Forget all the things. It happens in life. Never get frustrated with your life. Just live every moment of your life because these moments never will come back. And just think only one thing that I had lost that girl who never loved me, but she lost that boy who is always only for her. So, Be a man. Show your attitude. And tear all the pictures and greeting cards if you have.

 

[pofacedhoe]

You have to make a change. Find happiness in yourself, not one woman.

exactly. neediness never attracted anyone. but being confident and happy certainly does so work on life changes to get happy like excercise/career you feel you somewhat enjoy/hobbies. develop yourself and avoid the introspective melodrama- it solves nothing

if your bipolar and you had an opiate habit you really need to start getting into excercise. it is the best cure for mood disorders but you have to pull your finger out and do it. i've been diagnosed bipolar and taking B6 everyday helped me to sleep and now i haven't had an up or down in 4+ years because i can sleep on time. makes all the difference. also cut out shitty food caffeine and sugar.

caffeine and bipolar=crazy as fuck paranoia/insomnia

 

[abracadabra girl]

A thousand days have passed since I fell in love with her and almost as many since she broke my heart. I continued to see her until last year, hoping, dreaming I could hold her in my arms and kiss her. She is gone now though, I will never see her again. Funny how I almost killed myself because of that, the scars will remain for my time on this earth. It has gotten easier these days, the stains of time have whitewashed the memories. I know it's all my fault. It's not that much of a problem anymore.

The problem is, its been almost a decade and I'm still alone. Out of the frying pan and into the fire so to speak. No matter how hard I try talking to girls, it never seems to lead anywhere. It's becoming quite unbearable and its effecting my life quite severely. Hobbies can only fill so much time. At the end of the day, I'm still lonely and miserable. It's only a matter of time before the weight of the world crushes me. I wish I was one of those people that can be happy single but I'm not. For some reason that's how I draw all my strength. I havent had sex in so long I'll prolly fuck it up if it does happen, thats another one of my fears. I'm worried if I don't change this soon, this year will be my last. I'm not sure if I even have any questions, just looking for advice I guess, if anyone cares to help a lonely soul.

I feel the same. Let's get together.

 

[InfernalWish]

I'm working on myself atm. I've got enough hobbies and am trying to socialize and find someone but it never seems to go anywhere. At the end of the day though, I'm still alone and have to goto bed alone. I live alone, I'm not a very social person. It tends to get overwhelming at times, seeing so many people happy with someone and me still being in the same place. I'm finding it very hard to find happiness by myself. I don't actually act depressed or unhappy at all when I'm talking to people, especially girls. Most people don't even know until I tell them. But yeah at the end of the day... Oh well, I'll keep trying I guess, long as I can. Got nothing to lose.

I feel the same. Let's get together.

Haha, if you didn't live half a world away I'd consider it.

 

[Ondine]

About a month ago my best friend and roommate started hooking up with my unrequited love.
The funny thing is that she and I are still friends, it's really my roommate I'm upset with. Just completely changed the way that I viewed him. I'm okay just staying friends with the girl, but I don't know if the friendship between my roommate and I is going to survive.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder recently OP, so I know something of your pain. I'm also at the point where I feel immune to hope, unable to focus on anything positive. It's like I want to be pitied, but I'm embarrassed that I feel that way.

 

[pofacedhoe]

^if you cant get over someone you need to stop being their friend to move on. hating your roommate solves nothing but does prove that you are jealous and still want to be around her (hence friends) even though its holding you back and making you feel shit. typical depressive self torture behaviour. love yourself, grow up and move on for your own sake

 

[Ondine]

^if you cant get over someone you need to stop being their friend to move on. hating your roommate solves nothing but does prove that you are jealous and still want to be around her (hence friends) even though its holding you back and making you feel shit. typical depressive self torture behaviour. love yourself, grow up and move on for your own sake

If I wasn't jealous then there'd be no problem. I like this girl as a friend; when I told her how I felt and she said she couldn't reciprocate, it hurt, but I was able to move past that. But I haven't known her that long. I've known my roommate for a long time, and I've grown extremely close to him since we moved in, but the way i see him has changed. It's not that I hate my roommate, I still consider him to be my friend. In fact I care about him a lot more than I care about the girl, and I guess I assumed naturally that he cared about me the same way. But when you tell someone you care about that they're hurting you, and they shift the blame, try to turn it around, justify it, it's devastating (I'm talking about my roommate here btw). It just became clear our friendship meant something different to me than it did to him. He cares about me, he just cares about himself quite a bit more. And it's hard picture myself staying his roommate because I honestly feel embarrassed for overestimating the strength of our relationship.

 

[InfernalWish]

You've got a complicated problem there mate. Personally I have no idea how your able to stay friends with her if you have such feelings for her. I found it impossible. It seems the problem is with your roomate. If you care about him more then her couldn't you be happy for him? Why do you feel jealous? Can't say I understand your situation completely but you might want to consider breaking your friendship with him if its something you can't deal with. If you can't reach some kind of comprise it might be the best thing for you. Just a suggestion.

I'm also at the point where I feel immune to hope, unable to focus on anything positive. It's like I want to be pitied, but I'm embarrassed that I feel that way.

Yeah, Ditto. Sometimes anyway.