ScorpioGypsy
Greenlighter
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. I've known him for three years but we didn't start a relationship until about this time last year. We are also expecting our first child (a boy) at the end of the month which we are both super excited about, my first child and his second. Our relationship, for the most part, has been wonderful. We love each other very much but we definitely have our issues. One problem in particular I thought we would be through already is his absolute lack of trust in me.
First I should establish that I have never cheated on him and as far as I know, he has never cheated on me. I am 13 years younger than he is and had only ever been in two previous relationships; one in high school and one just before my boyfriend now and have never had sex outside of a relationship let alone cheated on either of them. So the fact that I am accused of it baffles me.
When we first started going out he would sake me if I was seeing someone else. I would tell him "no" because I wasn't but he would ask again later. It got worse overtime as he would go through my texts, messages, pictures and social apps while I was sleeping. At first I didn't care, I had nothing to hide and if it gave him some peace of mind I was okay with it. But then I started noticing changes, he started deleting my male friends and blocking them, even the ones I've known since I was in elementary school, as well as some of my close male family members and coworkers. Not that I had many, I don't use Facebook very often and maybe have 70 friends total (guys and girls).
Anyway at the beginning of the year I had plans to have a sleepover at my stepdads house with my stepsister who is 11 and loves me to death. I'd promised her one several months back and thought I should deliver. At this point my boyfriend and I were already living together so I mentioned to him my plans for the night and immediately I could sense he was upset about it. But I went anyway because I'd already told her I was coming. Well to this day he accuses me of having gone over to one of my guy friends houses and sleeping with him. And anytime my friends get together and have a girls night I am only "allowed" to stay for a few hours and I can't stay the night with them. And heaven forbid I even think about hanging out with any of my old guy friends. I asked him why he still does it when I clearly talk to no one else, and he said its because I probably delete or hide the messages.
I should note that to this day he still goes through my apps and messages while I sleep. I don't even bother to replace my phone that I broke because it causes too many issues between us, but I am a blogger so I use my tablet and computer. I should also mention that to this day I have respected his privacy and have never gone through his phone or devices or accused him of cheating. Even when I suspected it. I do know however, because he likes to show me all the funny video posts and because they comment on everything that he posts and tag him in their posts, that he is friends with every ex and girl that he has fucked or thought about fucking and that about 300 of his 500 friends are non-family member females and that he still accepts any friend request he gets from a pretty girl (which is fairly often) If I glance over or when he scrolls through his feed to show me something I get to see dozens of pretty girls posting selfies with their asses sticking out, lips puckered, boobs pushed up etc... and most of them are gorgeous. When I asked him why he is still friends which them and why he still continues to add other girls he hasn't even met he gets upset and tells me that they haven't done anything wrong to him and that he doesn't hide it from me and that he isn't going to change for me and that I need to stop bringing it up. And he doesn't hide it, in fact sometimes he will show me their pictures and posts.
But it hurts because I have never done anything to loose his trust. In fact I have given up everything for him. My friends, a large part of my independence, the first job I ever really liked, my collage classes, I'm even giving him a child. But he questions weather the baby is his or not and threatens to get a DNA test like we live on the Jerry Springer stage.
Also, because he trusts me so little I question weather or not I should trust him. Is he just guilty and hoping to find that I'm guilty as well? My dad used to say you can only trust someone as much as you trust yourself. And I know that before me he was casually sleeping with other girls and hasn't been in a serious relationship since his daughter turned 2 nine years ago. So maybe he is just used to being around the kind of girls that casually sleep around or sleep around for money and thinks that all girls are the same. But if so then even after all this time he doesn't know me at all.
So for the past 7 months of my pregnancy I sit at home everyday, I don't call anyone, go anywhere or do anything. If I do go out I have to get "permission" and call him every hour or so and respond right away if he calls or texts. But still he thinks guys come over. And two of his cousins rent a room from us so of course if I speak, look, or acknowledge their presence in anyway then It must be because I am sleeping with one or both of them.
The really fucked up part is that when we have sex his favorite (and really only) fantasy is to watch me have sex with someone else. He'll talk about how he wants to see me fuck someone else, or he'll ask me to call him by another name and pretend he is someone else. At first I just chucked it up to role play and dirty talk but after the 30th or 50th time it gets kind of boring to me and seems to be making things worse. But every night that's his fantasy and he won't come unless I play along. I tried introducing new fantasies or games but it always turns into his fantasy. He also watches excessive amounts of orgy porn (despite the fact that we have sex at least once every night) and I question weather or not I satisfy him. I decided to casually ask him one day if he wanted to invite someone else to have sex with us, he admitted that he might enjoy himself in the moment but also said that the moment I did I would be out of his life forever.
I just don't know what to do. I feel like I deserve better but I just want to do the right thing, and we have worked through so much already I feel it would be a shame to give up now. So If you have read this far (I feel like I just typed up the whole First Testament) and have any advice on how we might be able to work through this that would be great.
First I should establish that I have never cheated on him and as far as I know, he has never cheated on me. I am 13 years younger than he is and had only ever been in two previous relationships; one in high school and one just before my boyfriend now and have never had sex outside of a relationship let alone cheated on either of them. So the fact that I am accused of it baffles me.
When we first started going out he would sake me if I was seeing someone else. I would tell him "no" because I wasn't but he would ask again later. It got worse overtime as he would go through my texts, messages, pictures and social apps while I was sleeping. At first I didn't care, I had nothing to hide and if it gave him some peace of mind I was okay with it. But then I started noticing changes, he started deleting my male friends and blocking them, even the ones I've known since I was in elementary school, as well as some of my close male family members and coworkers. Not that I had many, I don't use Facebook very often and maybe have 70 friends total (guys and girls).
Anyway at the beginning of the year I had plans to have a sleepover at my stepdads house with my stepsister who is 11 and loves me to death. I'd promised her one several months back and thought I should deliver. At this point my boyfriend and I were already living together so I mentioned to him my plans for the night and immediately I could sense he was upset about it. But I went anyway because I'd already told her I was coming. Well to this day he accuses me of having gone over to one of my guy friends houses and sleeping with him. And anytime my friends get together and have a girls night I am only "allowed" to stay for a few hours and I can't stay the night with them. And heaven forbid I even think about hanging out with any of my old guy friends. I asked him why he still does it when I clearly talk to no one else, and he said its because I probably delete or hide the messages.
I should note that to this day he still goes through my apps and messages while I sleep. I don't even bother to replace my phone that I broke because it causes too many issues between us, but I am a blogger so I use my tablet and computer. I should also mention that to this day I have respected his privacy and have never gone through his phone or devices or accused him of cheating. Even when I suspected it. I do know however, because he likes to show me all the funny video posts and because they comment on everything that he posts and tag him in their posts, that he is friends with every ex and girl that he has fucked or thought about fucking and that about 300 of his 500 friends are non-family member females and that he still accepts any friend request he gets from a pretty girl (which is fairly often) If I glance over or when he scrolls through his feed to show me something I get to see dozens of pretty girls posting selfies with their asses sticking out, lips puckered, boobs pushed up etc... and most of them are gorgeous. When I asked him why he is still friends which them and why he still continues to add other girls he hasn't even met he gets upset and tells me that they haven't done anything wrong to him and that he doesn't hide it from me and that he isn't going to change for me and that I need to stop bringing it up. And he doesn't hide it, in fact sometimes he will show me their pictures and posts.
But it hurts because I have never done anything to loose his trust. In fact I have given up everything for him. My friends, a large part of my independence, the first job I ever really liked, my collage classes, I'm even giving him a child. But he questions weather the baby is his or not and threatens to get a DNA test like we live on the Jerry Springer stage.
Also, because he trusts me so little I question weather or not I should trust him. Is he just guilty and hoping to find that I'm guilty as well? My dad used to say you can only trust someone as much as you trust yourself. And I know that before me he was casually sleeping with other girls and hasn't been in a serious relationship since his daughter turned 2 nine years ago. So maybe he is just used to being around the kind of girls that casually sleep around or sleep around for money and thinks that all girls are the same. But if so then even after all this time he doesn't know me at all.
So for the past 7 months of my pregnancy I sit at home everyday, I don't call anyone, go anywhere or do anything. If I do go out I have to get "permission" and call him every hour or so and respond right away if he calls or texts. But still he thinks guys come over. And two of his cousins rent a room from us so of course if I speak, look, or acknowledge their presence in anyway then It must be because I am sleeping with one or both of them.
The really fucked up part is that when we have sex his favorite (and really only) fantasy is to watch me have sex with someone else. He'll talk about how he wants to see me fuck someone else, or he'll ask me to call him by another name and pretend he is someone else. At first I just chucked it up to role play and dirty talk but after the 30th or 50th time it gets kind of boring to me and seems to be making things worse. But every night that's his fantasy and he won't come unless I play along. I tried introducing new fantasies or games but it always turns into his fantasy. He also watches excessive amounts of orgy porn (despite the fact that we have sex at least once every night) and I question weather or not I satisfy him. I decided to casually ask him one day if he wanted to invite someone else to have sex with us, he admitted that he might enjoy himself in the moment but also said that the moment I did I would be out of his life forever.
I just don't know what to do. I feel like I deserve better but I just want to do the right thing, and we have worked through so much already I feel it would be a shame to give up now. So If you have read this far (I feel like I just typed up the whole First Testament) and have any advice on how we might be able to work through this that would be great.