not sure why i am postin these thoughts, they make no sense at all...i'm just needing to vent....
unknown to me what is going through my head
I can't figure it out
nothing here is what I want and all I see is a different place
far away from all this shit that I call my life
call me
I can't stop crying and these damn pills don't work
give me more, damn it I need more
they say it's ok to use drug when it's signed by a doctor
well doc I’m trying to go ur way here
so give me more
or I just might go else where
I need this feeling to disappear
this empty fucking whole that is overwhelming my being
soon-it's coming
I can't take it away-I don't know how
do u?
can u help me?
I know only I can get me through this-but hey how bout some guidance
tell me where to start coz my smile has been long gone
I want the feeling of fitting
fitting perfectly somewhere
anywhere-anything
I used too
used too
used too-damn those words are just echoing in my mind
yeah, I know-I used too fit perfectly with u
safe
comfort
where did that get me?
no where
worse off than where I started 4 years ago
with u
maybe I am pretty, tall and all that shit
but go ahead, try and hold a conversation with me
I bet ya in 10 minutes u are gone
gone
gone
gone
just like everyone else
it's ok, I am used to it
it happens all the time
u call me weird-but I am unique
at least I tell myself that
I just think differently-is that so bad?
I guess so
u
u understood every thought
we were on the same damn plant
and I felt comfort in ppl walking away from both of us
I wasn't alone
alone
alone
alone
it’s not that bad-right?
guess I will find out
coz I don't have u no more
and there's only one girl that talks to me anymore
I don't mean to wallow in self pity
it’s just that I am trying so damn hard to do one day at a time
yeah I have heard that to many times
u try it!!
try not to think bout the things that hurt u
or the boy that thought he was able to take ur dignity away-all in one night
well he did 5 yrs ago
but everyday in my head
over and over again
god five yrs clean-no drugs
well at least none that aren't "bad" for me
fighting everyday-pushing
being pushed back by u
at least I still have the right thought
for right now
what’s one time, ya know
one time
I have done so well and no one will have to know
u won't tell
I won't tell
where will that get me?
right back to u
damn it-I can't believe I let u do this to me
my pride
self respect
securities
what the hell was I thinking to give u access to the whole meaning of me
I’m not 16-i am a quarter of a century, I should know better
I had the choice this time-and I still let it happen
so maybe that night was all me-maybe I deserved those things
this hell
get a grip
fix ur shirt
and get out of this house
it only remind me of u
unknown to me what is going through my head
I can't figure it out
nothing here is what I want and all I see is a different place
far away from all this shit that I call my life
call me
I can't stop crying and these damn pills don't work
give me more, damn it I need more
they say it's ok to use drug when it's signed by a doctor
well doc I’m trying to go ur way here
so give me more
or I just might go else where
I need this feeling to disappear
this empty fucking whole that is overwhelming my being
soon-it's coming
I can't take it away-I don't know how
do u?
can u help me?
I know only I can get me through this-but hey how bout some guidance
tell me where to start coz my smile has been long gone
I want the feeling of fitting
fitting perfectly somewhere
anywhere-anything
I used too
used too
used too-damn those words are just echoing in my mind
yeah, I know-I used too fit perfectly with u
safe
comfort
where did that get me?
no where
worse off than where I started 4 years ago
with u
maybe I am pretty, tall and all that shit
but go ahead, try and hold a conversation with me
I bet ya in 10 minutes u are gone
gone
gone
gone
just like everyone else
it's ok, I am used to it
it happens all the time
u call me weird-but I am unique
at least I tell myself that
I just think differently-is that so bad?
I guess so
u
u understood every thought
we were on the same damn plant
and I felt comfort in ppl walking away from both of us
I wasn't alone
alone
alone
alone
it’s not that bad-right?
guess I will find out
coz I don't have u no more
and there's only one girl that talks to me anymore
I don't mean to wallow in self pity
it’s just that I am trying so damn hard to do one day at a time
yeah I have heard that to many times
u try it!!
try not to think bout the things that hurt u
or the boy that thought he was able to take ur dignity away-all in one night
well he did 5 yrs ago
but everyday in my head
over and over again
god five yrs clean-no drugs
well at least none that aren't "bad" for me
fighting everyday-pushing
being pushed back by u
at least I still have the right thought
for right now
what’s one time, ya know
one time
I have done so well and no one will have to know
u won't tell
I won't tell
where will that get me?
right back to u
damn it-I can't believe I let u do this to me
my pride
self respect
securities
what the hell was I thinking to give u access to the whole meaning of me
I’m not 16-i am a quarter of a century, I should know better
I had the choice this time-and I still let it happen
so maybe that night was all me-maybe I deserved those things
this hell
get a grip
fix ur shirt
and get out of this house
it only remind me of u
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