FnX
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2009
- Messages
- 749
So, what is your take on relationships that are unhealthy? Obviously, many ways for a relationship to be unhealthy, but when I wrote the title I was thinking of the specific type where the relationship takes a toll on party especially. The kind where one is essentially trying to save the other because they can't help but to destroy themselves, yet both love each other and care about each other to the best of their ability (however one of them has no love for self). It is not entirely an impossible thought that issues could be fixed, but even after years of trying, or perhaps especially after years of trying, there is a sense of hopelessness. Imagine yourself in a relationship of this kind, how it has worn you out. Would you leave? Would you start caring less about the other and simply focus on yourself? Knowing full well that the other party wants to isolate themselves so they could take their own life without feeling guilt. If they did, how could you not feel guilty yourself, wearing yourself out even more knowing that happened because you left the scene? Damned if you do, damned if you don't? Would you eventually stop caring, if you took enough damage because of the relationship in which you stayed for long enough, or would your mind just become twisted, when love and guilt eventually become almost interchangeable? It's somewhat like co-dependency yet doesn't really feel like it, which makes the relationship feel especially out of sync and it feels really hard to determine the correct course of action because there really seems to be none.
The way I have come to see this is that healthy relationships involve a certain amount of selfishness, you have to be able to care about yourself to properly care about others. Still, relationships aren't about one individual but two. Certainly, love and guilt shouldn't mean the same thing in practice, and how can you love others if you were to only love yourself? All kinds of opinions and experiences are warmly welcome.
The way I have come to see this is that healthy relationships involve a certain amount of selfishness, you have to be able to care about yourself to properly care about others. Still, relationships aren't about one individual but two. Certainly, love and guilt shouldn't mean the same thing in practice, and how can you love others if you were to only love yourself? All kinds of opinions and experiences are warmly welcome.