Unfulfilled

[E-girl]

I think maybe i burned my last candle on you for awhile.
what's the point, anyway?
it seems like the closer i feel myself getting to you,
the more you become like a stranger.
I find myself going through these same familiar patterns...
The ones where i give everything in my heart,
Give it all until there's nothing left
And all i get is a "hey thanks" or your back as you walk out the door.
I dont need you to fall in love with me
I just want to know where i stand in your life.
Does any of this mean anything to you?
Any guy can come into my life and be nice to me...
Sure, they are rare and few,
But what keeps my mind drifting back to the guy who treated me like shit
Was feeling adored...
Feeling like i mattered
Feeling like i was more in his eye than any blond walking down the street.
There was nothing left of he and i to save,
Except that tingle, that feeling
That i always got when he looked at me,
Like i was the only girl in the world.
See, he pretended
It was all a facade
He was really looking through me the whole time,
but it got me.
And here we are, you and i
Filled with unspoken words and passing glances
Not since the moment i let you into my life
Have i once heard you say that i mean anything to you
And try as i might, i cant keep inside of me
the way i feel about you...
i tell you every chance i get
only to get a blank stare
that makes my heart ache
And i wonder if i'm wasting my time
with someone who will never get over his past
I'm NOT that girl who hurt you
I never would
But i can't continue to sleep in this bed next to you
If i dont know why the hell i'm doing it in the first place...
It feels too familiar,
Too fucking familiar
The way the kisses get fewer
And the nights waiting for you get longer
And the candle just about burns out
I must look ridiculous lying naked in that bed
all by myself
And i feel more and more
Just like your coworker,
Your pal
The chic you watch movies with
Whom you kiss quickly as you fly out the door in the morning
And who clutters your life with meaningless words
In cards, letters, emails
I dont know what it is you're looking for,
Or if you'll find it
But I can be this to anyone
And maybe that's selfish,
But i'm so sick of getting my heart caught up on
Someone who just isn't capable of returning it
There is no reason in the world for me to leave you
Someone who's been nothing but good to me
But maybe we are wasting our time
On something that's just not there...
This connection is taking too long to make
And quite frankly,
I've lost hope.

 

[Tribal Hybridz]

i feel the EXACT same way about a girl i have been caught up with for almost a year now. i could fix her breakfast in bed every day and say i love you a million times, put every ounce of passion in every kiss, and get nothing short of a "ummm, thanks, gotta go,seeyou later" and the usual bullshit lines "i think about you all the time" and "theres somwthin different about you" almost seems routine to my ears. gggrrrrr i think they are either scared to open and love or just have simpily been drained all together. good luck on yours, i know the feeling of wanting to just give it up, and they do one little thing that gets you every time. i think they know exactly what theyare doing. or maybe, they know we have so much love to give, they fear they cannot return it, even though we know they can.Good Luck, Peace.

 

[Squeaks]

{{{{{{{{e-girl}}}}}}}

 

[Dagny]

Hope. What a thing to lose. I wonder that if we examined our lives and the major turning points in them, if hope wouldn't be one of the biggest factors in these decisions of ours. Talked about so little, yet it's so valuable to us, and we don't always know why this is so.
I hope that you know why I do this. You pour out your heart here, give us the most personal parts of you. And I know that my responses sometimes are vague generalizations about the state of man. I do this because I learn so much from you sweetie. Your heart and mind are so much more effective than countless professors I've heard, speakers I've listened to. There is brilliance in the purity of you, and it means so much to me. I love you, girl, for all of you. And you are going to be so much more than okay.

 

[goodnitestar]

wow thats exactly how i felt this past year living with my bf , i loved him and still do love him more than anything, and he just kept pushing me farther and farther away . i felt like his roomate all to much, it sucks. i hope that you and me both can find someone that is right for us, and will treat us the way we should be treated. its so hard though , cause it takes a while to find out that someone is going to be shitty to you , and by that time im usually to in love with them to care how they are. so be strong and do what you have to do if you know that hes not going to be true and caring to you , and if he cant treat you like your the most important thing in the world , move on. easier said then done, !
*hugs*
christal

 

[Queen Beat]

Everyone deserves more then just a slight connection. Everyone deserves to feel as if their heart is the most precious thing in the world. Everyone deserves to feel loved.
Don't settle on comfortable or nice. You're a passionate and loving person and make sure you don't settle on anything less then what you've always wanted.
Wonderful, heartfelt and touching writing once again. I love the fact that you're not afraid to show everyone just exactly who you are.

 

[ThreeStandsOdd]

Only the lonely never settle. Some people seem to have no feelings sometimes. Someone like you deserves better. Although sometimes it's all worth it. Who knows?

 

[KHsweety03]

 

[Furnace]