TDS Uncomfortably numb...

[Woodsong]

Went to my psychiatrist again today... Prescribed me 30 1mg Xanax pills again... Managed to 'control' my use more than normal, by which I mean spread it out slowly throughout the day but the shit just ain't doing anything for me anymore, so I ended going through the whole bottle anyway... Ended up hanging out with an ex at the mall. Did nothing but frustrate me, and I even spilled a couple pills in his car and never found em... I ain't even feelin' shit after 30mg of alprazolam... Just pissed and depressed, and I think hanging out with a friend just make it worse... I just wanna get tore out of the fucking frame right now, I'm tired of caring....... And now I know the next few days are gonna suck... I've still gotta pay my taxes, which I probably owe a shitload on, I have to pay a speeding ticket soon, pay my ridiculous phone bill, I'm fucking broke and I don't know what to do... This shit is slowly taking over my life just like opiates did in the beginning, and I do not want that to happen......

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey woodsong.. why don't you figure out ten things you would change about your life if you could. Then take those ten things and find five things you could do to facilitate each one of those changes. Then take all fifty of the things.. you could do to make those ten important changes.. and find two or three things that you can do to get those fifty things done. Now you would have about a hundred or so easy things to do. Pick one or two the night before and get them done the next day no matter what. In a couple of months you should have all of the ten big things done. Now that you're doing pretty good I think it would be really important to start forming the life you want. The really challenging or intimidating is best broken down into easy, manageable pieces.. get a bunch of easy pieces done and the challenge is done. The hardest part of anything is starting, if you want to get something done all you need to do is start. whatever kind of life you want you will have to go get, if you stagnate in a predicament where you aren't happy and do not work (like a bunch of easy things are work, ha) to form a new life then there will be only motivation to use. What do you want.. its only a bit of patience and couple of easy tasks away. I believe your extreme use of the bezos is to escape your present situation, buy escaping in this way you will end up prolonging your stay, escape buy moving forward.. START YOUR NEW LIFE WOODSONG

 

[Woodsong]

I believe your extreme use of the bezos is to escape your present situation, buy escaping in this way you will end up prolonging your stay

I'm well aware of the reasons behind my drug use, I hold no illusions in that respect... I don't really know how else to release tension and anxiety besides drugs anymore... Especially in this house. I've already gone off the fuckin' chain a few times......

I need to get out of this house. To do that, I need a car. To get a car, I need money. To get money, I need a job, for which I need a car, you see how circle goes... Feels like a pretty complicated one to break...