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uncertainty of rolling.

billy_m100

billy_m100

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 2, 2010
Messages
163
I adore rolling. I love feeling the rush and the explosion of happiness sweep over me, shit i even believe this is what adam and eve felt like and heaven feels like. but the problem is I'm starting to have doubts. I hate feeling guilty about doing it. Will this feeling go away in time? :(
 
Well, why are you feeling guilty about it? Without knowing that it's kinda hard to help.
 
billy_m100 said:
I adore rolling. I love feeling the rush and the explosion of happiness sweep over me, shit i even believe this is what adam and eve felt like and heaven feels like. but the problem is I'm starting to have doubts. I hate feeling guilty about doing it. Will this feeling go away in time? :(
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nanchan's right. Why is it that you'd feel guilty to begin with? I agree that if there were a heaven, it would be everyone like they are on MDMA for eternity. It certainly is a "recapturing of innocence" and could easily be equated to the christian perception of a "return to grace" or "pre-fall of man".

I suspect your guilt may be based in the same area. Does your guilt about feeling good and enjoying pleasure stem from a religious belief? That's the vibe I'm getting from you.
 
Do what you want. If you really want to roll, roll. If your guilt is greater than your desire to roll, don't. Maybe the guilt is you trying to stop yourself before you start to abuse the feeling?

Maybe you recognize that that feeling of heaven is something that should be a rare treat and you don't want to spoil it by doing it over and over again? Maybe you haven't finished processing your last roll? Things to consider.
 
From my personal experience I started to feel guilty when I was doing it month to month 2 years ago and around the 7th or 8th month I started to have guilty thoughts such as, I cant believe im doing this to my body and brain, thinking about my parents, what my other friends thought about me who dont do it and other thoughts of that sort. Maybe youre doing it a little too much? Usually a 2 month+ break will get those thoughts to go away. Also, you can start putting positive thoughts before you roll such as " I am going to have fun no matter what" or something and just fight through the guilty thoughts. Need a little more info on why maybe youre feeling guilty though.
 
Its mostly my parents. Every time they ask me what any drugs iv done I lie to their face and say just weed. I think it might just be me rolling to much and thinking to hard about rolling (i over analyze things)
 
AylaV said:
nanchan's right. Why is it that you'd feel guilty to begin with? I agree that if there were a heaven, it would be everyone like they are on MDMA for eternity. It certainly is a "recapturing of innocence" and could easily be equated to the christian perception of a "return to grace" or "pre-fall of man".

I suspect your guilt may be based in the same area. Does your guilt about feeling good and enjoying pleasure stem from a religious belief? That's the vibe I'm getting from you.
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No nothing like that. Don't get me wrong i do believe in God but not a strike you down with lightning god. In my heart i feel like it is ok because at least its not coke or heroin. that's just how i perceive it

All though i think it can be harmful
 
billy_m100 said:
No nothing like that. Don't get me wrong i do believe in God but not a strike you down with lightning god. In my heart i feel like it is ok because at least its not coke or heroin. that's just how i perceive it

All though i think it can be harmful
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There are few drugs that don't have some downside to them -- prescription or recreational. I know you believe in God. Your referred to adam and eve as real people and heaven as a real place. This was an exhibit of faith in a religious viewpoint.

As for your parents and lying to them, I see where your guilt is coming from. Although deceit / lying is literally programmed into our genetic code (deceit is a highly evolutionarily advantageous attribute to have and is common in MANY different animals -- even birds), our society frowns upon lying as untruthful information is not good for the whole of society (and western society has very strong judeo-christian influences).

In other words, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You feel guilty for lying -- not doing ecstasy. That's the way I see it at least =)
 
AylaV said:
There are few drugs that don't have some downside to them -- prescription or recreational. I know you believe in God. Your referred to adam and eve as real people and heaven as a real place. This was an exhibit of faith in a religious viewpoint.

As for your parents and lying to them, I see where your guilt is coming from. Although deceit / lying is literally programmed into our genetic code (deceit is a highly evolutionarily advantageous attribute to have and is common in MANY different animals -- even birds), our society frowns upon lying as untruthful information is not good for the whole of society (and western society has very strong judeo-christian influences).

In other words, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You feel guilty for lying -- not doing ecstasy. That's the way I see it at least =)
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that actually helped :) sorry if i offend anyone with religion im just using those as an example:)
 
I'm pretty much an atheist. I know for sure that I believe in evolution. This is my viewpoint, however, and there are many in the world. My gripe with religion (even extremist atheism) begins when people become violently adamant about people having differing beliefs. I'm certain there was nothing you've done that was upsetting, billy =D

Glad to help!!
 
AylaV said:
I'm pretty much an atheist. I know for sure that I believe in evolution. This is my viewpoint, however, and there are many in the world. My gripe with religion (even extremist atheism) begins when people become violently adamant about people having differing beliefs. I'm certain there was nothing you've done that was upsetting, billy =D

Glad to help!!
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exactly. how can I prove evolution doesn't exist? Well if i was a typical christian id say its fake but i believe God used it to create human kind and Genesis was first recorded history. thats my opinion though. Rolling kinda made me believe in god more in a way
 
we all find our own truth =) Nothing wrong with that. Life is life -- make of it what you want. Whatever's causing me to experience is something way cooler than any sci-fi movie -- I know that much for sure <3 =D
 
oh and if anyone would like to help me make a schedule to help me space it out just right i would be happy :)
 
Sure!! Take at least a one month break in between rolls, although if you can wait longer (three months in between) it would be much more ideal =)
 
I want to do that and wait a few months until a rolling event comes. but for that im literally waiting 6 or so months. theres a rolling carnival coming up so im going to do it this weekend. i did it almost a month ago so i should be fine?
 
a month AT LEAST is best. If you cut it by a few days you might be okay, but you should still take a nice long break after this next roll =)
 
After this weekend Billy take a nice loooong break from it. 2months is good 3+ months is better. Im on 4 months break and I feel normal again and it feels good haha im going to an event next month and would be my 5th month break. Gonna do a post on how good a long break is because this is my first big stretch from uses.
 
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