Unbearable relentless opiate withdrawl anxiety. In detail

[IHateOpiophobes]

Ive tried to get off opies for quite a while, ended up on suboxone and I really don't see how it will be possible. Someone else posted a thread with this subject (credit to him_sorry I cant remember), but I just want to know if the KNOT that pounds at your chest like a 500 pound gorilla is as bad as it is for other people.

My anxiety does not wane over the day, nor does it give me a break to to allow me to have conversations with people or any part of life for that matter. It is relentless, 86400 seconds in a day (which in withdrawal time perception amounts to....well...10-15 years. No matter what I do or try its like this tightness that resides in my chest, is an evil soul dwelling beast feeding off sanity reserves, while inside my chest screaming bloody murder.

People talk about making through days, but how does one go through one day when every waking moment is agony, It manifests itself through physical knots, which take my will power and any other attempt at any sort of relief, and basically takes it out back by the woodshed and teaches it some manners. My thoughts are no longer mine when withdrawing.

My only idea is stock up on so many benzos and clonodine (I know the risks, ill save you the time), that I basically sedate myself into a state of tolerable misery.

I believe that I am genetically on the worst end of this disease. I'm hoping other people also...., well, sorry not hoping for them, but for me, so I can selfishly learn from their position on their anxiety(any other major obstacle?) in their war of opiate withdrawal. I mean once the knots start, fat lady is already 2 loud versus in.
I reach points where tearing my hair out in clumps to distract my major pain pathways sounds good, but we all know how much fun HYPERALGESIA can be. Stubbing your toe might as well be cutting the thing off with dull utensils.

So if you've got that I'm not gonna make day 2 less more, because your mind is hijacking the brain stem survival mechanism and you would like to share it, I would love to hear it. Im also interested in other issues such as RLS for example which Ive heard drive people ape sh!t. Anything that has prevented you from making any real serious lengths of time without slippin.

YES Im on sub now, but I will get off this if its the last thing I do. So withdrawal is something I will face again. Misery loves company and I'm not there right now but the highlights are in full HI-DEF 1080p. Please feel free to detail the misery that keeps on giving. Hopefully it will be helping me and others.

Thanks Much.

 

[Tommyboy]

Maybe if you taper enough it won't be that bad this time. Some clonidine and benzos can help, but I would save the benzos for the worst few days and just stick with the clonidine for the rest. I don't get the knot on my chest while in withdrawals, so I can't relate to that, but I do get RLS very badly, as well as bad anxiety and insomnia.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

I detoxed with meds from OP's and Alchol but it wasn't enough. I remember not sleeping, horrible sweats, shakes, anxiety, so weak I couldn't shower, so weak I could barley change my clothes, or take a shit. I mean every time I sat down to use the bathroom I thought it was my last, I couldn't hold a spoon to feed my self *dunno how I managed to eat I just did* I couldn't hold a cup with out two hands. It was painfull beyond anything I ever went through and it took months just to see clearly again (my vision was so bad) I couldn't see at night, my sleep never went back to normal, my feelings, emotions never returned even after almost a year but the pain and misery does end. The problem is for along time it will get worse and worse every day more of a hell then the last and all you want to do is use, but don't . IT DOES END. took me around 2months for the strait up pain and misery to be... normal.. maybe longer.

2months sounds like a long time but after years of drug abuse what the hell did you expect? Just suffer through it. You won't die... and your not going through WD in jail or on the streets so count your self lucky, others have it much much worse.

Except it.. take it, and learn from this... don't do it again.

 

[Missykins]

Gabapentin and propranolol may help you.

 

[theseeker]

Exercise as often and as hard as you can. Take long walks to get you out of your place and into the open air. It's important to move during wd.

 

[phactor]

Exercise as often and as hard as you can. Take long walks to get you out of your place and into the open air. It's important to move during wd.

Even a walk down the street, around your back-yard, a few blocks can help. Also, a few push-ups and some body squats can give some relief to the tightening muscles.

Everyone seems to have one or two symptoms of withdrawal that really get to them. I never really had a knot, but the RLS and Insomnia drove me totally nuts.

Clonidine can make you very tired, but I felt like it really helped so the trade off was worth it. Also, can you taper? Even a fast and agressive one can help a little. If you cannot, a Suboxone maintenance period might be the best option. It really helped me.

Even before I got on Suboxone I would always taper off of whatever opiate I was on. It was just a huge help IMO. Everyone is different though. I personally would rather feel milder symptoms for a longer time... that tradeoff was worth it. I should note that I was able to taper off of Suboxone after about a year and a half. I slowly tapered off over the course of 8 months.

Also, while any withdrawal is terrible at first, I find it really important to start forcing yourself to do things/stay busy when you can (after the first few days). I remember walking around grocery stores after the worst of it was over and feeling like I was reintroducing myself to the world. This would often be accompanied with some positive thinking and occasionally I would get some pretty strong energy. There would be some moments of pretty incredible euphoria. I guess its what some call "the pink cloud".

Anyways, something that always helped me was to prepare myself in advance. Buy the supplements, pick up the prescriptions, get the soup, yogurt, protein/meal replacement shakes a day or two in advance. If you know you will need nicotine and/or a six pack of light beer then get those. I always enjoyed a beer or two at night during the withdrawal. I think that might have been me just celebrating making it through another day, but if it works then it works.

Find an outlet be it a journal or website. Try to avoid the horror stories. Make sure that you have time off (even a weekend can be huge)... Try to look at it as something you must do to make yourself better. Do not pysch yourself out. It is only temporary. It is not fun. However, I learned some things about myself when going through withdrawal. And Dare I say it... those days when you really start coming out of it can be very very refreshing and rewarding.

Best of luck. Do whatever it takes to get off of the opiates and try not to be too hard on yourself.

 

[Fatjosh]

Hi, I can totally relate to the feeling of I will stop this if it's the last thing I do. I am on day 22 of cold turkying a 200+mg oxy habit. the first 8 days I counted every second, and 3 weeks later I still can't sleep right because of the rls. It does feel like it will never end and it won't if u don't want it bad enough to stop giving in it will be a vicious cycle, u have to give yourself something u want more than drugs for me it was actualy two things I thought I was a gonner, but the thought of someone els growing old with my fiancé after I died from liver failure or an od was too much. That and I love money I always have. I love the way it smells, and makes most of your problems go away kinda like opiates. At 15 I was makin more money than anyone I knew my age, but when I became an opiate addict and money no longer existed only my fear of a day without pills.stick with it, I don't know much about suboxone, I felt like that was trading 1 drug for another and takin the easy way out. IV also heard horror stories of the withdrawals. I wish u the best and try to think of it like your body is, because it is the fight of your life, for your life, and when u make it thru the term high on life will truly make sense to u

 

[xxsicknessxx]

just remember, your additions picks off where you stop at. So if its this bad now you get clean then go back to ox its going right back to where you were before. You might get high once, but addition is fucked up that way. So don't think you can get clean then go to a normal dose once your clean.

Either quit for good or why bother? if ever plan to go back save your self the pain. I find every time I through WD it gets worse and worse

 

[Fatjosh]

Thats so true about going back. When i went back the first time my tolerance was cut in half for the first couple doses, then it came back plus some. The difference between the first time and now is the first time i quite to prove i could do it then a month later when life threw me a curveball i went back to the safety and security of opiates this time i quite because i want my life back. The first time i quite it was only 80mg of hydro once a day this time it was over 200mg of oxy at one time once a day. Opiates r no fun when u spend 80$ just to feel normal. I have quite for good, like u said stay with the opiates if u arent serious about staying clean because all u r going to be doing is making yourself miserable. And u r right that it only gets harder to take that first step of saying no more because the more times u withdrawl the more u kno about how bad it will suck because the first time u dont know how bad it will suck on like day 3 so by the time u get to that level of hell u think to yourself im almost thru the worst of it but when u know what it wil take to make it, it just makes u less likely to try. I hate to fail at things so i didnt even try until i knew i was ready...and ill never look back because i remember how miserable i was hustling every day to stay out of w/d. Good luck, and remember as well everyone thinks their w/d r somhow more unbearable than others this last time i tried to put a silver lining on things even if it was "atleast its not opana or fent w/d" if anyone has the willpower to get off those i told myself i have it in me to beat some oxy.

 

[phactor]

Also, do you think the "knot" is actually from hypertension? If so, Clonidine should help. Benzo's will as well, but that is a riskier proposition.