Opioids Ugh, stuck in WD again after a traumatic incident...

[SaosinEngaged]

This marks my fourth time in WD in the year 2012. Pretty ridiculous eh? Tell me about it.

Anyway, let me just give you some of the precursors to this event. I had a back procedure performed on Tuesday that nearly killed me. Somehow, under anasthesia I had a very severe reaction to it and stopped breathing for almost a minute. They had to perform emergency procedures that included shoving a tube forcefully down my throat. I woke up from this "simple" procedure in immense pain, probably the worst in my life. My throat was swollen, vocal chords damaged (I still cannot speak), feels like razorblades if I even swallow water, ON TOP of all my back pain that is constant and unrelenting. Now here's the kicker. I had NO FUCKING IDEA any of this happened until the day after; I spent an entire day wondering why I was in so much pain and couldn't speak, only to finally have the nurse call me and say, "Oh, we hope you're doing okay after what happened!" I was like, "WTF are you talking about?" Yeah, some facility. Didn't inform me or my fiancee what happened during the procedure for an entire day.

This lead to an anxiety attack of epic proportions in addition to immense physical pain. This was enough to trigger me to blow through my Oxy prescription like there's no tomorrow, hitting almost 300mg/day for Wed/Thurs. Then of course I ran out, thinking I'd be able to find more and of course couldn't.

My usual WD arsenal is Tramadol, Kratom, Lyrica, and Klonopin. Of course this time I have NONE of that but the Kratom, and for such a large amount of Oxy to abruptly come off of, the Kratom isn't doing ANYTHING. I'm dosing 8g of premium Bali every 5 hours or so, and all it's kept me from doing is vomit/shit myself. I haven't slept in 36 hours, RLS, muscle pain, and anxiety/depression like I've never experienced. I did happen upon an unused script for Skelaxin (had one bottle before being switched to Soma, which I'm also out of until next week). Will Metaxelone do anything for WD? At least maybe calm the RLS and muscle pain? I HAVE to somehow sedate myself into a coma to get some damn sleep before I lose my mind.

IDK, I know there's so much shit on WD out there, I just need to vent. I'm delirious from not sleeping but my bloodpressure is skyrocketing, the RLS is absolutely relentless, and I mentally feel 100% unstable. I'm losing my mind so any knowledge of how to cope with WD that I've acquired is out the window right now. I'm borderline panicking/not coping.

It's also the mental anguish of knowing that I let myself into this WD so pathetically unprepared; I've always been armed with an arsenal of meds that have made WD painless and always been responsible enough not to let myself WD UNLESS I had my meds in place. I can't procure anything until at least Wed of next week, so the worst of WDs will be over by then...if I even make it that long. The lack of sleep is starting to really get to me.

Fuck this shit, and fuck opiates.

 

[Jacksterini]

Im soo sorry. Withdrawal does. Suck horribly. Im so sorry u have no relief. Not sleeping makes everything worse. Hopefully u will start to feel better since its been 3 4 days i think. Bit if it was me. And uv been goin thru withdrawal. So many times in a yr. i would think about suboxone. The state of withdrawal ur in now suboxone would take it away. Granted its also addicting. But. There is only so much withdrawal a body can take. Ive been there and caved into the suboxone cuz i dont have it in me it gets harder n harder. Drs also prescribe hi doses for pain managment. If u dont want to go that route. Maybe have someone take u to an er. Or first care place. Most hospital will give a scrip for percs. Its no oxy. But after bein in full wothdrawal. For awhile. 2 of them wil provide relief. At least from rls and insomnia. I wish i had a magic cure. But. For me. Those r the only things that ever helped. Benzos kratom immodiom and hot showers never helped nor dis excercise. U need. Opiate relief and need a plan. Cuz. Inreally believe opiate withdrawal is harder and worse every time. Keep posted. Vent away. This forum helps to no ur not alone. My prayerrs r with u

 

[ErgicMergic]

That is so horrible, that shouldn't have happened to anyone. You have my sympathy. Please post about this in TDS as they will able to help more with the mental aspect of it.

In the meanwhile, please try to get your pain controlled somehow, by any means necessary. The Kratom every 5 hours is a great idea, and you can even order some Kratom UEI blend or FST tincture extract. This is very expensive and very addictive, but legal, and should be a good painkiller. If your BP is skyrocketing, please ask your fiancee to call your doctor to phone a script in for a beta blocker, my favorite one is Metoprolol ER (Toprol XL), at 25mg, maybe even 50mg, once a day. This will chill you out physically, lower your anxiety, as well as your blood pressure.

You were not pathetically unprepared, man. No one plans for life's bullshit, it just happens. Plus, you have Kratom, Tramadol, Lyrica, and Benzos, that is as good of a WD arsenal as it gets without Suboxone. Take it easy with the benzos, take just enough for WD relief and for anxiety relief, since benzos tend to increase pain by slowing down the brain as a whole. You are in a tricky situation, and I hope things turn better for you

 

[SaosinEngaged]

Just as an update:

I ended up making another topic because I thought I overdosed on Kratom (not from effects, I mean simply by ingesting too much hydrophobic plant matter and feeling sick to my stomach). Long story short, I just laid down, took a few Skelaxin and literally put my body in a coma to get 3 hrs of terrible sleep, and the nausea was gone when I awoke.

I also just purchased some UEI that should be here by tomorrow morning. I just can't get past dosing so much plant matter and the unpleasantness of it. I find tea to be much weaker, even when made properly because you're just not getting all the alkaloids, so that's one reason I've been shoving so much down my throat. Who knows, maybe I just suck at making the tea. I'm hoping the UEI will be the differential here, if it's really that much stronger as I've read I may be right at home. I don't give one fuck about potential addiction with UEI, the literal ONLY thing on my mind right now is feeling better and sleeping. I've slept 5 hours in three days, I'm damn near delusional psychosis between the stress and the fact that my emotions are so all over the place.

Case in point, about an hour ago by the grace of god I found a 15mg Oxy pill under my bed and I literally started crying. Don't feel a thing, but there's a minimal yet perceptable lessening of WD symptoms so I'm going to try and utilize this to get some sleep.

I'm about 74 or so hours into WD, and it's just not lessening. I don't care about the symptoms, I care about the insomnia that I feel is ruining my mind. No matter what I do I just can't get any meaningful sleep and that's the only symptom that bothers me to the point of madness. I need my rest. I'd trade this godforsaken insomnia a thousand times over for more severe gastrointestinal issues or something.

I MAY be able to happen upon 4-5 Roxi 30's later, which would require me driving in my sleep deprived state to go get them and then deal with the whole mental aspect of obtaining again. I really don't want to, but yet again the fact that it would mean restful sleep is just too tempting. I'd only take one at night, one tomorrow night, and so on. 5 isn't really enough for me to have fun with anyway, so even if it prolongs the whole ordeal, at least I'd get some fucking sleep. But then again, there's only a 50% shot this source will come through. I mean, don't people with really stressful fucking jobs like ER doctors routinely go on little sleep? CAn't be THAT dangerous right? Was just planning to blast music, not like there's any chance of me falling asleep behind the wheel LOL (kill me).

I can't get a new script for a week, that's how quickly I blew threw it following this.

Again, I can't stress this enough. The physical aspects of WD, at least for me, ain't got SHIT on the mental mindfuck of sleeplessness and anxiety. I guess I'm just not that mentally strong (I'm not), but it's killing me slowly. My physical symptoms from that arduous procedure have lessened (thank god) but the anxiety remains and the fact that I have minimal relief from my pain. But still, the pain is meaningless in comparison to the insomnia. One I can block out, the other I cannot.

Thanks for the support tho guys, seriously. Kind words go a long way when you feel like a degenerate, incompetent, piece of fucking shit.

 

[PINKoPANaTHER]

It's a rare find but good poppy pods or seeds in bulk can be effectively used to combat w/d symptoms and even taper. There's a wealth of information on both here at bluelight, though good seeds are rarer and rarer these days.

 

[SaosinEngaged]

It's a rare find but good poppy pods or seeds in bulk can be effectively used to combat w/d symptoms and even taper. There's a wealth of information on both here at bluelight, though good seeds are rarer and rarer these days.

I had thought about trying Pods, but there's a pretty good chance I have the codeine allergy, so I've never wanted to risk it. The second time I tried Codeine I had anxiety, tightness in my chest, and my lips got just a little bit swollen.

 

[tricomb]

Best avoid it completely then. Last thing you'd want is some unknown amount of alkaloids. I'd just ride out the WD.

 

[BiggDirty01]

^^^

This. If you can get your hands on some benzos or some high grade kush it might help keep your mind distracted from the physical parts of WD.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm glad you are alive, but that is a horrific story. I wish you the best.

 

[Jacksterini]

Hope u are able to sleep. Try to break that oxy into fours if u can. Even smaller crumbs if u want to get clean and ur already on day four. That shuld b good to ease the anxiety n. rls for sleep. Of u wanna get effed up and back on the chaim gang. Thats different. Ive been there withdrawal insomnia is the worst. Its becoming a linatic in a psych ward.