Spencer
Bluelight Crew
This is kind of long, but when I read it today It gave me the chills, and even made me pause and think. I hope you enjoy it. (Warning - A bit graphic and disturbing. But you're all big boys and girls and can handle it, I'm sure.)
_____________________________________________
Tyler's saliva did two jobs. The wet kiss on the back of my hand held the flakes of lye while they burned. That was first job. The second was lye only burns when you combine it with water. Or saliva.
"This is a chemical burn," Tyler said, "and it will hurt more than you've ever been burned."
You can use lye to open clogged drains.
Close your eyes.
A paste of water and lye can burn through an aluminum pan.
A solution of lye and water will disolve a wooden spoon.
Combined with water, lye heats to over two hundred degrees, and as it heats it burns into the back of my hand, and Tyler places his fingers of one hand over my fingers, our hands spread on the lap of my bloodstained pants, and Tyler says to pay attention because this is the greatest moment of my life.
"Because everything up to now is a story," Tyoer says, "and everything after now is a story."
This is the greatest moment of our life.
The lye clinging in the exact shape of Tylers kiss is a bonfire or a branding irom or an atomic pile meltdown on my hand at the end of a long, long, road I picture miles away from me. Tyler tells me to come back and be with him. My hand is leaving, tiny and on the horizen at the end of the road.
Picture the fire still burning, except now its beyond the horizen. A sunset.
"Come back to the pain," Tyler says.
This is the kind of guided meditation they use at support groups.
Dont even think of the word pain.
Guided meditation works for cancer, it can work for this.
"Look at your hand," Tyler says.
Don't look at your hand.
Don't think of the word searing or flesh or charred or tissue.
Don't hear yourself cry.
Guided meditation.
...
"Don't shut this out," Tyler says. "Soap and human sacrifice go together."
...
"Listne to me," Tyler says. "Open your eyes."
"In ancient history," Tyler says, "human sacrifices were made on a hill above a river. Thousands of people. Listen to me. The sacrifices were made and the bodies were burned on a pyre.
"You can cry," Tyler says. "You can go to the sink and run water over your hand, but first you have to know that you're stupid and you will die. Look at me.
"Someday," Tyler says, "you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me."
"You can cry," Tyler says, "But every tear that lands in the lye flakes on your skin will burn a cigarette scar."
...
"We can use vinegar," Tyler says, "to neutralize the burning, but first you have to give up."
After hundreds of people were sacrificed and burn, Tyler says, a thick white discharge crept down from the alter, downhill to the river.
First you have to hit bottom.
...
"Rain," Tyler says, "fell on the burnt pyre year after year, and year after year, people were burned, and the rain seeped through the wood ashes to become a solution of lye, and the lye combined with the melted fat of the sacrifices, and a thick white discharge of soap crept out from the base of the alter and crept downhill toward the river."
...
"This is the greatest moment of you life," Tyler says, "and you're off somewhere missing it."
...
Where the soap fell into the river, Tyler says, after a thousand years of killing people adn rain, the ancient people found their clothes got cleaner if they washed in that spot.
...
"Geez," Tyler says.
"This means something," Tyler says.
"This is a sign," Tyler says. Tyler is full of useful information. Cultures without Tyler says, they used there urine and the urine of dogs to wash thier clothes and hair because of the uric acid and ammonia.
There's teh smell of vinegar, and the fire on your hand at the end of the long road goes out.
There's the smell of lye scalding the branched shape of your sinuses, and the hospital vomit smell of piss and vinegar.
"It was right to kill those people," Tyler says.
The back of your hand is swollen red and glossy as a pair of lips in the exact shape of Tyler's kiss. SCattered around the kiss are the cigarette burn spots of somebody crying.
"Open your eyes,' Tyler says, and his face is shining with tears. "Congratulations,' Tyler says. "You're a step closer to hitting bottom.
"You have to see," Tyler says, "how the first soap was made of heroes."
Think about the animals used in product testing.
Think about the monkeys shot into space.
"Without their death, their pain, without their sacrfice," Tyler says, "We would have nothing."
-Chuck Palahniuk (excert from "Fight Club")
_____________________________________________
Tyler's saliva did two jobs. The wet kiss on the back of my hand held the flakes of lye while they burned. That was first job. The second was lye only burns when you combine it with water. Or saliva.
"This is a chemical burn," Tyler said, "and it will hurt more than you've ever been burned."
You can use lye to open clogged drains.
Close your eyes.
A paste of water and lye can burn through an aluminum pan.
A solution of lye and water will disolve a wooden spoon.
Combined with water, lye heats to over two hundred degrees, and as it heats it burns into the back of my hand, and Tyler places his fingers of one hand over my fingers, our hands spread on the lap of my bloodstained pants, and Tyler says to pay attention because this is the greatest moment of my life.
"Because everything up to now is a story," Tyoer says, "and everything after now is a story."
This is the greatest moment of our life.
The lye clinging in the exact shape of Tylers kiss is a bonfire or a branding irom or an atomic pile meltdown on my hand at the end of a long, long, road I picture miles away from me. Tyler tells me to come back and be with him. My hand is leaving, tiny and on the horizen at the end of the road.
Picture the fire still burning, except now its beyond the horizen. A sunset.
"Come back to the pain," Tyler says.
This is the kind of guided meditation they use at support groups.
Dont even think of the word pain.
Guided meditation works for cancer, it can work for this.
"Look at your hand," Tyler says.
Don't look at your hand.
Don't think of the word searing or flesh or charred or tissue.
Don't hear yourself cry.
Guided meditation.
...
"Don't shut this out," Tyler says. "Soap and human sacrifice go together."
...
"Listne to me," Tyler says. "Open your eyes."
"In ancient history," Tyler says, "human sacrifices were made on a hill above a river. Thousands of people. Listen to me. The sacrifices were made and the bodies were burned on a pyre.
"You can cry," Tyler says. "You can go to the sink and run water over your hand, but first you have to know that you're stupid and you will die. Look at me.
"Someday," Tyler says, "you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me."
"You can cry," Tyler says, "But every tear that lands in the lye flakes on your skin will burn a cigarette scar."
...
"We can use vinegar," Tyler says, "to neutralize the burning, but first you have to give up."
After hundreds of people were sacrificed and burn, Tyler says, a thick white discharge crept down from the alter, downhill to the river.
First you have to hit bottom.
...
"Rain," Tyler says, "fell on the burnt pyre year after year, and year after year, people were burned, and the rain seeped through the wood ashes to become a solution of lye, and the lye combined with the melted fat of the sacrifices, and a thick white discharge of soap crept out from the base of the alter and crept downhill toward the river."
...
"This is the greatest moment of you life," Tyler says, "and you're off somewhere missing it."
...
Where the soap fell into the river, Tyler says, after a thousand years of killing people adn rain, the ancient people found their clothes got cleaner if they washed in that spot.
...
"Geez," Tyler says.
"This means something," Tyler says.
"This is a sign," Tyler says. Tyler is full of useful information. Cultures without Tyler says, they used there urine and the urine of dogs to wash thier clothes and hair because of the uric acid and ammonia.
There's teh smell of vinegar, and the fire on your hand at the end of the long road goes out.
There's the smell of lye scalding the branched shape of your sinuses, and the hospital vomit smell of piss and vinegar.
"It was right to kill those people," Tyler says.
The back of your hand is swollen red and glossy as a pair of lips in the exact shape of Tyler's kiss. SCattered around the kiss are the cigarette burn spots of somebody crying.
"Open your eyes,' Tyler says, and his face is shining with tears. "Congratulations,' Tyler says. "You're a step closer to hitting bottom.
"You have to see," Tyler says, "how the first soap was made of heroes."
Think about the animals used in product testing.
Think about the monkeys shot into space.
"Without their death, their pain, without their sacrfice," Tyler says, "We would have nothing."
-Chuck Palahniuk (excert from "Fight Club")
