two short poems

[InHerOwnWrite]

#1
i lose time
in prescription bottles.
you can't find it
again.
friends stay
or stay away
in tablets
or in capsules.
you swallow
you blink
and tomorrow
becomes yesterday.


#2
circle.
how did you get in the
circle.
you who were always
outside.
you get dizzy.
you get sad.
because there is no
outside
anymore.


any comments? it's been a while since i wrote any poetry, these two came to me out of nowhere this morning.

 

[(Wordy)]

I think the first one is brilliant. It flows powerfully, direct and unadorned, while capturing some of the clouded logic which certain prescription medications can bring about, especially in these lines:

friends stay
or stay away
in tablets
or in capsules.

The meaning of these lines is kind of ambiguous and obscure, but they work in a warped kind of way (somehow the expression matches the feeling).

I like the second one too - I can relate to them both. I reckon you should write poetry more often.

 

[robatussin]

I love poetry, keep up the good work! If you ever want to hear some of my songs/poems ill pm them to you.....or just CALL ME

 

[up all night]

Oh I love them! You remind me of a poet we haven't seen around these parts in a while. I really hope to read more of your stuff!

The first in particular captures an almost impassive despair if that makes any sense.

 

[InHerOwnWrite]

^^
wow, thank you. i wasn't expecting a "oh i love them!"