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TV quotes

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Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
46
Post your favorite quote(s) from any tv show, past or current, comical or dramatic.

The Simpsons

Homer: "Oh GOD, why do you mock me!"

Marge: "Homer that's not GOD, that's a waffle Bart threw on the ceiling."
 
Trailer Park Boys

Ricky says it to Mr. Lahey;

"And you can teach how to get drunk, get fired from the police force become a... lousy trailer park supervisor that sucks, hangs around with a fuckin' idiot that doesn't wear a shirt and looks like a dick but thinks he looks good... 101."

probably the funniest line ever in the entire 5 seasons of the show :D
 
Something along the lines of...

"Just once I would like to hear you scream in pain.

...Play some rap music"

Last Boy Scout.

Mediocre movie - Totally quoteable quote...
 
from COPS

1. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand?
2. Anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand?
3. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand?
4. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. Do you understand?
5. If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Do you understand?
6. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?
 
THE GRAPH WAS NOT MADE IN ART CLASS, WE REALLY DO WANT KIDS TO START SMOKING
 
"ribs..i had ribs for lunch...that's why i'm doing that"
"audrey! audrey look at me!
"LOUD NOISES!!!"

Anchorman
greatest movie ever...besides those others i like....yea...
 
A couple from the 5th season of The Sopranos

"Violence? You're lucky I didn't put my shoe up your ass. " - Tony

"You see? Now, that's abuse. I know what my rights are. I can call Social Services, and they'll send a case worker." - AJ

"Go ahead, he'll get the other shoe. " - Tony

"Phil treats nickels like manhole covers, believe me I know." - Johnny Sack

"It's a surprise party, Jun. " - Bobby Bacala

"What are we, children? Anyway at our age it's enough surprise we're still alive every morning. " - Uncle Junior
 
A couple more funny ones from the simpsons,both by cheif wiggam.
"Bake em away toys" er...take em away boys
"Scum freezebags"

Some of the Simpsons ones make me chuckle for days afterwards,like when bart gets imancipated and is making noise in his new apartment,theres a bang on the wall and a voice shouts "keep it down in there,some of us are trying to sell drugs"
 
Land Lord: "Listen all I found in there was a couple of old cycle magazines, and some mustard."
Otto: "Whoa I had mustard!"
 
The Simpsons:

Marge:'Homer what are you doing with that many bowling balls?'

Homer:'Marge,i'm not gonna lie to ya'.. homer walks off.

Funny shit.
 
(Bender pulls out gaydar)
Bender : Ok. I got a lock on him. Yup, he's gay.
Amy : Are you sure?
Bender : Definitely, unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon.
 
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