Znegative
Bluelight Crew
When I entered psychosis it started subtly. It was late at night, I had just dosed some phenazepam to go to bed, but I suddenly wanted to do a shot of PV and stay up watching movies. I was sleeping on the couch so I pulled out my syringe, and my cooker and was about to throw some MDPV into it, when I thought I heard my father walking down the stairs.
So then I went to the bathroom to do the shot. My bathroom connects to stairs that lead down to the bottom floor appartment and the basement, there is a door that doesn't lock tht separates the stairs from where the toilet is. I began to hear what I thought were construction workers walking around in the hallway near the tenants so I freaked out, and went back to my living room, where I hid under a blanket with a cover over me, and used a flashlight so I could see what I was doing while I prepared my shot. At this point my vision seemed like it was really saturated. I quickly injected about 15mg of MDPV, and then sat right up, and then moved to my chair. I continued to shuffle back and forth between the two for a couple of minutes because I was feeling really stressed out. The euphoria that had usually accompanied the rush of IV MDPV was not there, and I actually felt like I was in some kind of gross cartoonish reality ( like a perverted DMT trip, without the full blown visuals, just that weird sense of the surreal). Anyway, I thought I heard my dad coming down the stairs again, so I just sat back on the chair, and sort of started laughing (out loud) and shrugging my shoulders. needless to say he didn't come, and as I waited for him, the weird sense of humor that I had, turned into a really dark fear.
I started to hear voices which sounded like they were coming from outside my house, things like "yea, the cops just pulled up, supposedly the sons got a lot of drugs and he's really lost it). Through my windows I even saw flashing lights, like there was a squad car out front.
As the hours went by I sat trembling on my couch, clutching on to random parts of my body. I was hearing footsteps outside the living room door, and what I assumes we're cops whispering to each other, at one point, I swore I saw the door open a little bit, and the tip of a sniper rifle protrude through, as well as a red laser dot moving across my wall. I began to plead with the "cops" that I was unarmed, and willing tot surrender (obviously). Eventually I had to pee, so I told NY's (not real) finest, that I was going into the kitchen to urinate. For some reason I pissed in a cup, and then started to think "hey if I'm going to jail, I don't want to be crashing hard off this shit". So I eyeballed a dose of phenazepam and tool 6mg of Xanax. Within 30 minutes I was on the floor, hardly breathing, fearing I was about to die, so what did I do? I AGAIN eyeballed a dose of MDPV, threw it into a glass of water and chugged it down.
Within minutes I realized now that I had taken way to much PV, and I was really in trouble. However I was so fucked up, and scared, that I could do nothing but lay face down on the floor, foaming at the mouth, and vomiting. Eventually I passed out, and woke up (thankfully).
This is just an example of how crazy shit can get. I feel like I couldn't really capture the fear, anxiety and surrea terror that was really going on at the time, but it's bad. The crash frin my 2 week binge left me with months of depression, and everytime I used stims after that incident (even low dosages of adderall), I would get visual and audio hallucinations. MDPV is not a light drug. I would even say its more addictive than cocaine. Tread carefully, or better yet, skip it.
