I was going to write about side effects. Then I babbled. Then I decided that babbling was a side effect. I think this is the 10th time I've written this sentence, keep editing and re editing and generally fucking about. Grrr. Here's to "IM COMPLEETLY CLEARR HEADED ON MEPHADRONE LOL HAHA OMG WTF BBBQ!!!!!111"
Don't read it, it ain't worth your time.
I will make a decent blog about side effects -- it will be good to have when I stop.
One of mephedrone's many shitty side effects is the loss of vision. Tunnel vision , with white mist over the remaining peephole and bright flashes at the edges.
Guess what you can't see if you have tunnel vision. Yup - DOWN. Unless I stare downwards, I fall over EVERYTHING. Not good in shops.
It goes back to normal after a couple of days if I sleep, gets much worse with fluorescent lighting - I don't think staring at a monitor constantly helps either.
This only started the last few weeks.... so if you're a meph abuser it's something to look forward to, whee.
Not much going on with me at the moment, so figured I'd whinge about some of the side effects of meph abuse. Then for some reason I went off on a long, long ramble about self pity.... the two aren't directly related, I wasn't actually going to "whinge".
A couple of people in the EADD meph addiction thread have said that I'm too full of self pity. I didn't reply and agree because that seems like such a drugged-up-arse-kissy thing to do, but I guess I am. There mut be times when my "poor me" attitude holds me back.
Mugabe is a fan of his quotes - he often says to me "you can't drive forward looking in the rearview mirror".
Ignoring the fact for now that passing a driving test in the UK involves staring in the mirrors exclusively, perhaps this is something I should start taking note of. Many people have complained at my tendency to look c=backwards before now- just he managed to phrase it in a way that didn't turn me into a hissing spitting ball o rage.
The truth is, I had a shit time growing up. A really shit time. And I feel like I haven't done whatever it is I need to do to be at peace with that. I think maybe there is no resolution, no magic words or perfect therapy that will suddenly make it all better.
So I feel sorry for myself. I don't think I define myself by those awful things in the past -- I just want a bit of sympathy.
On an unrelated note
I told a friend about meph this week - a friend who up until now didn't know that I took drugs (just one of those un-talked-about things). He took it remarkably well -- seemed satisfied that I had a plan to quit.
Sure, he's not going to be my first port of call for drugs advice, but he's quietly supportive and hey, it's a lot easier than lying. I'm glad I went out on a limb and told him. I think in most circumstances, confiding in your non-druggy-friend just means losing a friend (although you could argue that you were really friends to begin with.
Just a little snoo
I was gonna blog about the side effects of mpeh abuse today, honestly!! I guess I can't categorise this under Or can I? Self indulgent rambling - one of the better observed effects.....
Don't read it, it ain't worth your time.
I will make a decent blog about side effects -- it will be good to have when I stop.
One of mephedrone's many shitty side effects is the loss of vision. Tunnel vision , with white mist over the remaining peephole and bright flashes at the edges.
Guess what you can't see if you have tunnel vision. Yup - DOWN. Unless I stare downwards, I fall over EVERYTHING. Not good in shops.
It goes back to normal after a couple of days if I sleep, gets much worse with fluorescent lighting - I don't think staring at a monitor constantly helps either.
This only started the last few weeks.... so if you're a meph abuser it's something to look forward to, whee.
Not much going on with me at the moment, so figured I'd whinge about some of the side effects of meph abuse. Then for some reason I went off on a long, long ramble about self pity.... the two aren't directly related, I wasn't actually going to "whinge".
A couple of people in the EADD meph addiction thread have said that I'm too full of self pity. I didn't reply and agree because that seems like such a drugged-up-arse-kissy thing to do, but I guess I am. There mut be times when my "poor me" attitude holds me back.
Mugabe is a fan of his quotes - he often says to me "you can't drive forward looking in the rearview mirror".
Ignoring the fact for now that passing a driving test in the UK involves staring in the mirrors exclusively, perhaps this is something I should start taking note of. Many people have complained at my tendency to look c=backwards before now- just he managed to phrase it in a way that didn't turn me into a hissing spitting ball o rage.
The truth is, I had a shit time growing up. A really shit time. And I feel like I haven't done whatever it is I need to do to be at peace with that. I think maybe there is no resolution, no magic words or perfect therapy that will suddenly make it all better.
So I feel sorry for myself. I don't think I define myself by those awful things in the past -- I just want a bit of sympathy.
On an unrelated note
I told a friend about meph this week - a friend who up until now didn't know that I took drugs (just one of those un-talked-about things). He took it remarkably well -- seemed satisfied that I had a plan to quit.
Sure, he's not going to be my first port of call for drugs advice, but he's quietly supportive and hey, it's a lot easier than lying. I'm glad I went out on a limb and told him. I think in most circumstances, confiding in your non-druggy-friend just means losing a friend (although you could argue that you were really friends to begin with.
Just a little snoo
I was gonna blog about the side effects of mpeh abuse today, honestly!! I guess I can't categorise this under Or can I? Self indulgent rambling - one of the better observed effects.....
