Backwoodzjunkie
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2017
- Messages
- 18
Hi, im quite new to the BL community on here but i guess il start with a little background. I started doing opiates at around 19 when i had bowel problems and got them thru a doctor that threw them out like Willy Wonka. I started on the trusty old hydrocodone 5mg and continued on that for about 5-6 months before going up to hydro 10's. After another 3-4 months of that i started on oxycodone and creeped up to 30mg 6 times a day. Boy o boy was that fun to withdrawal of of after a year! I was puking blood up by the 3rd day of dope sickness.... But to my suprise i stayed clean for about 6 months before i started to hear through the grapevine that this wonderful new drug was goin around called "suboxone"! From all my junkie buddies i heard that it was a godsend and no longer did you have to expierience the sickness to get clean.... I wish i would of never listen and pick up the phone to call that clinic. I wan in in the next 3 days and out i walk with a prescription for 32 8mg films. I have never tried suboxone before so i had no idea what to expect. As i sat sweating in the chair waiting for my induction dose i was quite paranoid. They then placed that tiny Listerine strip under my tounge, within the next 45mins i felt like a million bucks! It felt like being on low dose oxy that lasted for 24hrs. I was instantly hooked and hopeless. For the next 5-6yrs i have struggled with Suboxone as my vice, i will pass up percocet and heroin to get a Sub. Because in my mind why even bother with the other shit when Subs will hold me over for at least a good 12 to 24hrs. But here i am... 7 years later starting the cycle all over again screwing up. About a year ago i had been clean from EVERYTHING including subs, even had a shitty job making pizzas. It all started when a friend gave me a bag of 20 roxis to sell for her...lol thats all it took to put me into junkie overdrive. I though damn iv been clean 6 months, I bet 2 10mg will get me a decent buzz to chill and listen to some Marcys Playground.... I still can hear the song "Opium" as i started to push off. That bag of 20 oxys was gone by that morning. So i started using my paychecks to buy more every weekend bc i figured i could save it as a weekend treat.... Lol i know right?!? After about a couple months of that i couldnt afford the shit anymore so i lost my job and started stealing to support my habit... Im actually a very talented locksmith so money was easy. But after to many close calls and nearly being shoot/ arrested i decided to save my talent for only good. So after the thefts and many stolen goods i set up as a small time dealer to support my habit, money was pretty good but as any dealer will tell u its nerve racking and stressful as fuk! I got robbed a few times and screwed over several.... I nearly almost beat someone to death bc of an argument and unpayed debt. I am extremely lucky that they didnt call the xops and disappeared from town. My wife was begging me to stop so i did... I just couldnt do it anymore and i was growing tired of that lifestyle. So i started buying Subs after the last big heroin binge to come off... I only told myself i would use them for a week then quit. But here i am completely dependant on the damn orange fuks! Im only at about 2mgs a day and have been for 6 months but its hell to come off them. I have tried 9 times in the past 2 months to come of them but i keep buying another pill after i get to the 72hr clean mark. I have and appointment at an addiction place but is not till later this month. Im so tired of the withdrawals but i honestly feel like suboxone helps to keep me off the hard stuff... But yet its a double edged sword if i cant get them. Its driving me insane. And my question is.. If i keep coming back to subs should i stay on them for good or just tough it out and try complete sobriety again. Btw im at the 60hr mark of withdrawal and feel like shit. .. I may be able to get another 2mg by tonight or by latest friday night so max il be at the peak of WD by the time i can re-dose. Any tips for the time being? I have about 48 lope pills so if need be i can take those.. But thats all i have. No clonidine or nothing