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Trying to quit H/fentanyl after relapse, terrifed

T

Trying123

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
47
20 + yes on H, got clean for a year, then relapsed for almost 2 years now. The stuff is different now. I've had a couple bad experiences trying to get back on buprenorphine. Any advice, anyone ?
 
Well, howdy there Trying123. Welcome to the best place in town to get info on fent and subs and any other concerns you have.

If you want to venture over to health and Recovery or The Dark Side and start a thread I know you would get many good responses. How did you know to come to Bluelight for help?

Welcome and glad you are here.
 
Pumpkin2021 said:
Well, howdy there Trying123. Welcome to the best place in town to get info on fent and subs and any other concerns you have.

If you want to venture over to health and Recovery or The Dark Side and start a thread I know you would get many good responses. How did you know to come to Bluelight for help?

Welcome and glad you are here.
Click to expand...
Hi, thanks.
I found Bluelight by googling induction.
There isn't a whole lot on Google.
I've been reading Bluelight for years. Lots of great info here, just takes time to find.
I'm still stugling. Sorry it took so long to reply.
 
Trying123 said:
Hi, thanks.
I found Bluelight by googling induction.
There isn't a whole lot on Google.
I've been reading Bluelight for years. Lots of great info here, just takes time to find.
I'm still stugling. Sorry it took so long to reply.
Click to expand...
welcome darlin! i feel for you big time bad, you will find that many have been in your situation and will get great help/advice, i wish you healing, you have done well and will thrive again :cheer::cheer::cheer:
 
If youre having problems with precipitated withdrawal you'll probably want to slowly induct over a few days. Fent has a habit of sticking around in the body because it clings to the fat cells. Some people have to wait 72-96hrs.

I'm not as familiar with the method but I've seen people slowly decrease their fent use while inducting over days using very small amounts of bupe. I'm talking microgram to just over a gram the first couple of dosages for a few days. Perhaps waiting as long as possible then take a very small amount. If the PW hits you can use a small amount of fent and then wait another round to take bupe again. That way the body slowly adjusts to the bupe without sending you into massive precipitated withdrawal. Somebody else with more experience should chime in.... Or there is always methadone.
 
somnilicious said:
If youre having problems with precipitated withdrawal you'll probably want to slowly induct over a few days. Fent has a habit of sticking around in the body because it clings to the fat cells. Some people have to wait 72-96hrs.

I'm not as familiar with the method but I've seen people slowly decrease their fent use while inducting over days using very small amounts of bupe. I'm talking microgram to just over a gram the first couple of dosages for a few days. Perhaps waiting as long as possible then take a very small amount. If the PW hits you can use a small amount of fent and then wait another round to take bupe again. That way the body slowly adjusts to the bupe without sending you into massive precipitated withdrawal. Somebody else with more experience should chime in.... Or there is always methadone.
Click to expand...
If you are on fent even methadone may be transferring to bupe aint easy,but possible for sure.Perhaps must wait enough(over a day or even two),before switching on.
 
Hi, thanks for the reply, sorry for the delay.
Part of my trouble, is I have to work, as I do this, stay functional. Part is I've been thru PW, several times, and terrified of it.
Right now, funds are extremely low.
My habit is down to about $10-20 a day, the last 2 weeks. And from 50 to 100 a day, the last year or so.
So, I'm terrified, if I go into PW, I don't have enough to get me out of it.
The biggest part, I think, is I'm afraid...
I live alone, cut all my bad friends/relationships, out of my life.
I have very few real friends, and I can't let my family now whats up..
Parents have major health issues, and I don't want to stress them, because I'm afraid them finding out, will hurt them big time.
I've made it onto subs before, about 22 months ago.
Made it down to 2mg bupe, with no problem.
Induction wasn't bad, but that was just before the big fentanyl supply hit Chicago.
Wish I could find something real, H....
Would be so much easier.
I get PW, terrible, when I get it.
Tried 4 times recently. Last time, I waited almost 48 hours.
Took about .5mg bupe, 45 min later, it hit hard.
Wish I had someone here, to "babysit" me, that I could know what I'm doing.
I'm trying to find someone.
I have a great Dr. He understands, and has given me almost everything I need.

As of now, the only way I believe I could make this happen, I'd if I transitin to something else, for a week or so. Get off fentanyl completely.
Since I can't find clean H anywhere..
I've been on methadone, and don't wanna go back.
But, would meth work, just as a transition ?
I know it has a long half life, and also stays in bones and fatty tissues, so think that's a bad idea, but may be wrong....
What else could I look for ?
Possibly oxycodone Or oxycontin.
I believe oxymoron is IR, and contin is ER, so IR, would be better ?
Tylenol 3/condone, Possibly?
Any suggestions would help, please.

After 25 years of H abuse, then had 14 months sober, only on 2mg of bupes.
That clean time, was the best time in my whole life. I remember what ot was like, and I want that back.
I actually had a life.
No gorilla on my back.
I just got in a bad place mentally, hung around an old friend, and started chipping again, which led to me stopping bupes, and getting stuck in the gutter again.
Once I get clean again, I have a great life ahead of me.
I just can't do it, like I am now.
I started my own business, went great, especially once I got away from drugs.
Now, I'm barely holding on to it.
Barley making enough to eat and lay bills late....
I hate where I at now, know what I can do, what I can have, and how great it felt before.
I'll do almost anything to get that back.
Just having a terrible time, trying to induce bupes.
Please, I need help.
I need guidance.

PS.
I have
2mg bupes, 8mg bupes, plenty of them.
10mg diazapam, 400mg gabapentin..

And 2 or 3 different things for stomach and diarrhea. Which really don't bother me.

I get the hot/cold sweats,
RLS, very bad. Can't hold still, at all.
Creepy crawlies, everywhere.
And muscle cramps, mainly in legs n arms.
Plus, can't eat or drink, but I DO force myself to eat what I can, drink water and sports drinks, and make shakes, with protein, milk, oats, fruits, and supplements.

Sorry for long message.
I'm just trying to give you all the info I can.
I want my life back, so bad.
And I know I'd go thru hell, in a 5 or 7 day detox, I've tried that before.
 
Trying123 said:
Hi, thanks for the reply, sorry for the delay.
Part of my trouble, is I have to work, as I do this, stay functional. Part is I've been thru PW, several times, and terrified of it.
Right now, funds are extremely low.
My habit is down to about $10-20 a day, the last 2 weeks. And from 50 to 100 a day, the last year or so.
So, I'm terrified, if I go into PW, I don't have enough to get me out of it.
The biggest part, I think, is I'm afraid...
I live alone, cut all my bad friends/relationships, out of my life.
I have very few real friends, and I can't let my family now whats up..
Parents have major health issues, and I don't want to stress them, because I'm afraid them finding out, will hurt them big time.
I've made it onto subs before, about 22 months ago.
Made it down to 2mg bupe, with no problem.
Induction wasn't bad, but that was just before the big fentanyl supply hit Chicago.
Wish I could find something real, H....
Would be so much easier.
I get PW, terrible, when I get it.
Tried 4 times recently. Last time, I waited almost 48 hours.
Took about .5mg bupe, 45 min later, it hit hard.
Wish I had someone here, to "babysit" me, that I could know what I'm doing.
I'm trying to find someone.
I have a great Dr. He understands, and has given me almost everything I need.

As of now, the only way I believe I could make this happen, I'd if I transitin to something else, for a week or so. Get off fentanyl completely.
Since I can't find clean H anywhere..
I've been on methadone, and don't wanna go back.
But, would meth work, just as a transition ?
I know it has a long half life, and also stays in bones and fatty tissues, so think that's a bad idea, but may be wrong....
What else could I look for ?
Possibly oxycodone Or oxycontin.
I believe oxymoron is IR, and contin is ER, so IR, would be better ?
Tylenol 3/condone, Possibly?
Any suggestions would help, please.

After 25 years of H abuse, then had 14 months sober, only on 2mg of bupes.
That clean time, was the best time in my whole life. I remember what ot was like, and I want that back.
I actually had a life.
No gorilla on my back.
I just got in a bad place mentally, hung around an old friend, and started chipping again, which led to me stopping bupes, and getting stuck in the gutter again.
Once I get clean again, I have a great life ahead of me.
I just can't do it, like I am now.
I started my own business, went great, especially once I got away from drugs.
Now, I'm barely holding on to it.
Barley making enough to eat and lay bills late....
I hate where I at now, know what I can do, what I can have, and how great it felt before.
I'll do almost anything to get that back.
Just having a terrible time, trying to induce bupes.
Please, I need help.
I need guidance.

PS.
I have
2mg bupes, 8mg bupes, plenty of them.
10mg diazapam, 400mg gabapentin..

And 2 or 3 different things for stomach and diarrhea. Which really don't bother me.

I get the hot/cold sweats,
RLS, very bad. Can't hold still, at all.
Creepy crawlies, everywhere.
And muscle cramps, mainly in legs n arms.
Plus, can't eat or drink, but I DO force myself to eat what I can, drink water and sports drinks, and make shakes, with protein, milk, oats, fruits, and supplements.

Sorry for long message.
I'm just trying to give you all the info I can.
I want my life back, so bad.
And I know I'd go thru hell, in a 5 or 7 day detox, I've tried that before.
Click to expand...
You can do it man!I am sure.The question is how?Its good decision to cut all relationships with unwanted people....and cant tell about your situation to your parents,because this would trouble him.I have posted about my struggle with fent few years ago.Withdrawl from this shit is absolute longlasting hell.If you could find some oxy,morphine,dilaudid or something strong opioid pharma and switching to it for about ten days.Then you would not have any problem switching onto bupre.Save your benzos and gaba for that period.I had to switch for about ten days on poppy pod tea three times a day after i tappered fent to 2mg a day.Then got ibogaine flood.Wish you sucess with all my heart.Just must find some strong opioid for only ten days.Then easy can transfere into bupre.Many people are in like your situation with fent-want stop,but bupre throw them in awlful PW.Methadone is one solution,but you dont wanna do it.(me too).As for H is a little bit russian rollet-it could be cut with fent.Hold on friend.There is a way out of this hell.Be safe and please post how is goin on.Peace brother
 
Thanks Nas47, been asking around for anything, no luck yet.
For now, I'm stuck tryin different places, til I. Find some clean H. Take it from there.
This Fentanyl ain't no joke. I've never liked it. Just all of a sudden, that's all that is around.
I have a pretty good supply of bupe, 2 and 8mg.
Last night, I got 1mg in me, no issues, just took another 1mg now.
Gonna try taking .5 or 1mg, every 2 or 3 hours. Get that built up in me.
Plan now, is to get built up to 16mg, or more, little at a time, then use the gabs, benzo, try not to do any H.
Kind of hard, cause I'm inpatient, I like things now, but I know better with this.
Just strange, sometimes bupes hit me in 30 min, sometimes it takes 3,4 hours, don't know why. My dr is great, and has no explanation either. Going to him today.
I can get more subs, gab, benzo. He's known me for about 3 years now, knows I won't abuse them. I hate pills, always have. Only take when needed. That's a whole other animal too.
So I'll keep building up bupe tday n tmro, won't do anything but a tiny bump, if I need to, and see how that goes.
Thanks for the info, and support.
I made it out before, I'll do it again.
Just has to be right timing, but with Xmas here, I can't be down at all.
Buy I'm not giving up.
Keep takin micro bupes, using less H, and get thru next few days. Hopefully by Sunday, I can get away a few days, and do what I want/need to.
I'll keep posting, hopefully help someone else.
Thanks everyone, for the support here.
 
I feel for you but there are meds you can take the best i think is lyrica if you cant get that get gabapentin . I am 54 hours in wds from heroin im takeing pregabs and lope im sneezing back tight but nothing else im on here cold turkey i be fucked
 
Trying123 said:
Thanks Nas47, been asking around for anything, no luck yet.
For now, I'm stuck tryin different places, til I. Find some clean H. Take it from there.
This Fentanyl ain't no joke. I've never liked it. Just all of a sudden, that's all that is around.
I have a pretty good supply of bupe, 2 and 8mg.
Last night, I got 1mg in me, no issues, just took another 1mg now.
Gonna try taking .5 or 1mg, every 2 or 3 hours. Get that built up in me.
Plan now, is to get built up to 16mg, or more, little at a time, then use the gabs, benzo, try not to do any H.
Kind of hard, cause I'm inpatient, I like things now, but I know better with this.
Just strange, sometimes bupes hit me in 30 min, sometimes it takes 3,4 hours, don't know why. My dr is great, and has no explanation either. Going to him today.
I can get more subs, gab, benzo. He's known me for about 3 years now, knows I won't abuse them. I hate pills, always have. Only take when needed. That's a whole other animal too.
So I'll keep building up bupe tday n tmro, won't do anything but a tiny bump, if I need to, and see how that goes.
Thanks for the info, and support.
I made it out before, I'll do it again.
Just has to be right timing, but with Xmas here, I can't be down at all.
Buy I'm not giving up.
Keep takin micro bupes, using less H, and get thru next few days. Hopefully by Sunday, I can get away a few days, and do what I want/need to.
I'll keep posting, hopefully help someone else.
Thanks everyone, for the support here.
Click to expand...
Hey there. Glad to see you came back and updated us. Really glad you are doing okay. This is a very good Health and Recovery thread and you will get a lot of support if I move this to the recovery forum. New member introductions isn't read by the members like the other forums. If you would like I can move it and many more people will see it. Totally up to you. Here or there. Either place is fine. Just thought that it is a very good thread about the struggles we all go through.

Hope your holidays bring you some peace of mind and are as pleasant as can be.
 
Pumpkin2021 said:
Hey there. Glad to see you came back and updated us. Really glad you are doing okay. This is a very good Health and Recovery thread and you will get a lot of support if I move this to the recovery forum. New member introductions isn't read by the members like the other forums. If you would like I can move it and many more people will see it. Totally up to you. Here or there. Either place is fine. Just thought that it is a very good thread about the struggles we all go through.

Hope your holidays bring you some peace of mind and are as pleasant as can be.
Click to expand...
Happy and peacefull holydays!Be safe
 
Hi Pumpkin2021,
Whatever you think is best.
You know the board best.
As long as I can find this post, it's all good.
An update.
I got to taking 1/4 of a 2mg bupe.
I got the pure bupes, generic, not with naloxone. Naloxone give me the shakes and anxiety real bad. My dr is great. He knows me, knows I won't abuse anything he gives me, that I want to be clean. I'm not just playing games.
So that helps a lot.

Anyway. Took .5 mg, 4 times a day, yesterday.
Taking 1mg, 4 times a day today.
So far, I feel ok.
Not sick at all, but today, I do feel like something is working.
I'm not totally numb.
I haven't been high, or nodding, for years.
The H/fent. , just keeps me functioning. I don't really feel anything, no matter how much I do.
So, I'm happy so far.
Just keep praying, I can keep doubling my dose, every day.
I'm splitting it up, so taking whatever dose, 4 or 6 times a day, so there's no shock on my body. Just getting it in me, a little at a time, letting it build up.
Just a little edgy today, but guess that's what it feels like to be clean, more or less.
I have always been high speed, high metabolism, my whole life.
Hard to just relax. Fishing, is only thing I can just get lost in. Bought an old boat, but haven't been out in about 2 years cause of my habit. So that's my goal. Get out n catch some walleye n white bass, in WI, soon as ice is off lakes.
I'm gonna keep doubling my dose, every day. Until I hit about 12mg/day.
Then see if i can get by without using any H, at all.
I've been using less h, as I go up on my bupes.
I hate to, but I have to keep some here, in case I go into PW...
Once I make it a day or 2, without having to use H, I'll flush it all instantly.
From my past, I should be ok at about 12, 16mg. But, with this H laced with feet, its a new game to me.
Just keep moving forward, praying, and trying to stay positive.
Positive is the hard part. But, doin ok so far.
This thread, and all of you, do help a lot.
Thanks to all of you.
And Nas, really, thank you man....
I know its possible, just not easy...
I will get through this.
And once I do, if anyone is in my area, and wants to hit central WI, for some great fishing, that's where I'll be, several times a month.
Anyone sober is welcome to join me, anytime.
I'll try to keep posting every day, so it helps others.
Thanks everyone.
You all help me keep a positive attitude.
That makes a huge difference.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all.
 
My situation is with a different drug. Alcohol hits many receptor's but still a Benzo , GABA-A based ,
is sufficient. As wd aid.

Maybe something like wise is possible for Fentanyl.. A drug that cancel's out not all but only the worst wd effect's?

Just thinking out loud. Because Fentanyl seems pretty much based round the opiate receptor's. Alcohol influences them to but probably to a much lower degree. It interact's with all system it sometimes seems.

I wish you strength along your journey toward soberness keeping the tempo low seems a factor to use. No stress because you are going to fast. If that is a option fur you
 
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You're there my brother. You made it over the hump and past PW. Just keep doing what your doing by slowly increasing your bupe daily and try and get rid of that fent sooner rather than later. It will only enable you to keep making excuses to keep using and I'm quite sure that you've gotten enough bupe in you're body to displace the dope on your receptors anyways.

So glad to hear. Keep us updated and why not check back into Health and Recovery every now and then. Your experience is invaluable and you'll find help for the second phase in the recovery process which is maintaining sobriety during those critical first few weeks. Hope all is well. Please do keep us updated.
 
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Thank you.
As for alcohol, it does help at 1st. But then next morning, feel 300% worse. I have tried different drinks, and amounts over the years, but always comes back to hrt the next day, even worse.
I've been wanting to check out different threads, just haven't had the time. Holidays and family obligations, on top of work, and trying to kick... it's great, because I'm too busy to think about anything, in one way, but also hit the phase, with absolutely no energy, and just have to lay down, try to sleep.
So far, sleep has been ok.
But, kind of expect that to change soon.
I try not to think about the past, but last time I quit, I never slept more than 1 hour a night, for over a whole year. My guitar got me thru that last time. Not sleeping in winter months, in Chicago is totally boring. Wish it was warmer, or I was somewhere I could sit and fish all night long. Music and mainly fishing, are the only 2 things I really love, other than my family and dog.
I got stuck at 2mg a day, due to having to be at family's, on Xmas eve, and dinner on Xmas. I've got 2 or 3 days now, I can kind of lock myself down. AA meetings aren't far from me, so I'll try to hit a few. Get more support locally. Have someone to talk to, or stop by. Again, my family has no idea, and I have to keep it that way, for several reasons.
They know my history, but think I'm doing OK now. They have too much on their minds already, I don't need them to get worse, because of me.

So, today, again, 2mg, .5 at a time.
I'll try to push a little more in me.
Wish I could just stop using, but, for the moment, I have to, just to function.
It's 230pm by me now, I have 1.5mg in me so far.
Gonna try pushing to 3 or 4 by tonight.
I did try taking 1.5 mg at once. 30 min later, it hit bad. Shakes, sweats, RLS, terrible anxiety.
So for now, I'll just try to take .5mg at a time. Just step it up to every 6, to 4 hours, hopefully even more.
I see my dr tmro. Haven't gone in 2 or 3 months, cause I've had a few things here.
Gonna get new 400mg gabapentin, 10mg Valium, and .1/1mg clonidine to help calm myself down.
Hate how I feel on clonidine, makes me very very weak. But it does help.
I hate having to use any H, but once the PW starts, it game over.
As of now, game plan is to keep taking 300 gabapentin, 3,4 times a day, .5mg of bupes as often as possible, until I see dr, and get whatever else to help..
Should have all meds by tmro PM...
Gonna try not to use any H, at all tmro, stay about 2,3mg bupes, then take my gabapentin, clonidine, Valium, and see how that is.
I should be able to get by on just .5mg bupe, 4,5 times a day, no H, and just push thru 2 to 3 days. Get the H/fent, out of me. Go up on bupes slowly, Monday to Wednesday.
My guess is, even tho Im building up bupes, the fentanyl just knocks bupes out of me. So, I'm just going in circles.
I'm not gonna stop trying. I have to beat it this time.
This has to be my final stand, to get clean.
Thanks for the replies.
It does help, just knowing people that I don't even know care, and are willing to help.
Also, I've been trying to eat halfway decent, and take vitamins, and protein shakes.
I've lost a lot of weight, last few months, and feel terrible, because of that also.
So, til tmro, all I can do, is try to maintain the same dose of bupes, til I can get my other meds, then just lock down at home, push thru 2 or 3 days. Then try going up about .5, every few hours, see how that goes.
I'll keep you all posted.
Thank you all, so much.
 
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