Scrofula
Bluelight Crew
Day 9 hope you're still going.
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H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist
Recovery Trying to quit, could use some advice and support
- Thread starter FresnoSun
- Start date
Had a pretty bad thanksgiving and today is pretty bad too.
I managed not to take anything and today is day 11 but I’m really having trouble with everything that is going on. I’m kind of worried because I’ve been having more thoughts about taking some pills especially today.
I’m really trying but life sure isn’t making it easy right now.
I know I don’t deserve to be treated the way I am by some people in my life but can’t really do anything about it because of the situation.
I don’t want to use again and start over, I just wish I could be happy again it’s been too long
I managed not to take anything and today is day 11 but I’m really having trouble with everything that is going on. I’m kind of worried because I’ve been having more thoughts about taking some pills especially today.
I’m really trying but life sure isn’t making it easy right now.
I know I don’t deserve to be treated the way I am by some people in my life but can’t really do anything about it because of the situation.
I don’t want to use again and start over, I just wish I could be happy again it’s been too long
Scrofula
Bluelight Crew
Still going?
Fresno State beat Boise today, which is always nice. And I'm not a football fan.
Fresno State beat Boise today, which is always nice. And I'm not a football fan.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
^that makes me smile, and I don't like American football much either 
I'm sorry to hear you had a difficult thanksgiving. When they shitty, well, they can be pretty shitty. Definitely doing holidays in super early recovery sounds to suck.
Have you tried a maintenance medication like buprenorphine or methadone? You would be a pretty great candidate. Likewise, you can also use other things for maintenance like kratom, though IMO it's best to do things under a doctor's care (or at least in conjunction with working with some professional support of some kind).
OR, though it doesn't really sound practical given you situation as a care giver, have you ever thought about iboga?
How many attempts would you say you've tried to make when it comes to quitting opioid use up until now? Have you tried any particular treatments in terms of help quitting?
I'm sorry to hear you had a difficult thanksgiving. When they shitty, well, they can be pretty shitty. Definitely doing holidays in super early recovery sounds to suck.
Have you tried a maintenance medication like buprenorphine or methadone? You would be a pretty great candidate. Likewise, you can also use other things for maintenance like kratom, though IMO it's best to do things under a doctor's care (or at least in conjunction with working with some professional support of some kind).
OR, though it doesn't really sound practical given you situation as a care giver, have you ever thought about iboga?
How many attempts would you say you've tried to make when it comes to quitting opioid use up until now? Have you tried any particular treatments in terms of help quitting?
^that makes me smile, and I don't like American football much either
I'm sorry to hear you had a difficult thanksgiving. When they shitty, well, they can be pretty shitty. Definitely doing holidays in super early recovery sounds to suck.
Have you tried a maintenance medication like buprenorphine or methadone? You would be a pretty great candidate. Likewise, you can also use other things for maintenance like kratom, though IMO it's best to do things under a doctor's care (or at least in conjunction with working with some professional support of some kind).
OR, though it doesn't really sound practical given you situation as a care giver, have you ever thought about iboga?
How many attempts would you say you've tried to make when it comes to quitting opioid use up until now? Have you tried any particular treatments in terms of help quitting?
Ive only seriously tried to quit 2 times before. I’ve always just tapered myself down and tried to keep it a secret because nobody else knew about it. I’ve only made it 7 days before but seem to be doing better this time.
I know even though other things are going wrong that taking some pills won’t help, I try to stop myself if I begin to think about them. It’s pretty hard though because it only takes a moment to slip up.
I know my main reason for using but can’t really change anything about it, just have to keep on going and stay strong and hope things improve.
I wanted to post a longer reply but have to deal with something and don’t have much time right now
18 days today
Been having a lot of things going on but I’ve been able to handle things so far without thinking about using again.
I’m still having some trouble with sleep and low energy but hopefully that won’t last too long, I can’t wait until I’m at 100% again.
Been having a lot of things going on but I’ve been able to handle things so far without thinking about using again.
I’m still having some trouble with sleep and low energy but hopefully that won’t last too long, I can’t wait until I’m at 100% again.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Sooner or later you'll be 110%
Learning to deal with insomnia more skillfully was crucial to my early recovery. At some point I realize that, if I'm not going to be able to sleep, just get out of bed and do something that is good for myself. Reading a quiet book, making some ginger tea, going on a walk, whatever. Laying agonizing about how I can sleep writhing in bed is not fun, so doing something that doesn't go against healthy sleep patterns (so not watching an exciting movie, taking caffeine, etc) was very helpful.
Learning to deal with insomnia more skillfully was crucial to my early recovery. At some point I realize that, if I'm not going to be able to sleep, just get out of bed and do something that is good for myself. Reading a quiet book, making some ginger tea, going on a walk, whatever. Laying agonizing about how I can sleep writhing in bed is not fun, so doing something that doesn't go against healthy sleep patterns (so not watching an exciting movie, taking caffeine, etc) was very helpful.
Thank you everybody
Today is 21 days
The last couple of days have been some of the worst but with family problems and even though it's hard I haven't had too much trouble not taking anything.
I did have a dream last night that I took a pill but it was more of a nightmare. I panicked in my dream and tried to make myself throw it up and don't remember much more than that.
At least it means I got some sleep
Today is 21 days
The last couple of days have been some of the worst but with family problems and even though it's hard I haven't had too much trouble not taking anything.
I did have a dream last night that I took a pill but it was more of a nightmare. I panicked in my dream and tried to make myself throw it up and don't remember much more than that.
At least it means I got some sleep
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Nice work! Are you going to be doing anything to continue celebrating your accomplishments? Doesn't have to be anything insane (and indeed, it probably best if it can bed kept rather pedestrian, more so so you can just get used to celebrating yourself in healthier ways).
Congratulation though? Where you planning go from here?
Congratulation though? Where you planning go from here?
Scrofula
Bluelight Crew
Fresno Sun, any updates? Christmas is over, thank baby jebus. How'd it go?
Sorry it’s been so long since I posted an update.
I’m still going strong, it’s nice not worrying about the pills all the time. Every once in a while I think about them but then I just try to think about something else.
I’m having a gout flare up right now but I’m trying to manage with ibuprofen.
I’m still going strong, it’s nice not worrying about the pills all the time. Every once in a while I think about them but then I just try to think about something else.
I’m having a gout flare up right now but I’m trying to manage with ibuprofen.
My gout caused an infection in my foot and knee and I was at the hospital the last couple days so I had to take a few pain pills but I took less than my doctor said I could. I've taken 4 all together 1 in the morning and 1 at night for two days but nothing today except for a shot of something they gave me before they sent me home.
I haven't had any thoughts about taking more and it didn't cause any cravings and that's what worried me the most so I think I'll be ok.
I'm on lots of antibiotics and steroids for the swelling so hopefully it will help the pain so I don't have to take anymore pain meds.
Sorry for the messy post I can't sleep and am writing this from my phone.
I'll probably post more tomorrow, I'm sure I probably missed something but I'm feeling pretty bad right now.
I haven't had any thoughts about taking more and it didn't cause any cravings and that's what worried me the most so I think I'll be ok.
I'm on lots of antibiotics and steroids for the swelling so hopefully it will help the pain so I don't have to take anymore pain meds.
Sorry for the messy post I can't sleep and am writing this from my phone.
I'll probably post more tomorrow, I'm sure I probably missed something but I'm feeling pretty bad right now.
Beenbetter
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2017
- Messages
- 200
Good luck Fresno.
You are an inspiration wether you know it or not.
Your doing amazing.
You are an inspiration wether you know it or not.
Your doing amazing.
Sorry it's been so long since an update, my gout had gotten worse and now it's in both knees so I'm stuck in bed and can't get around.
I've had to take more pain pills but still not as much as I was prescribed,
I've tried my hardest to get by on ibuprofen when I can but the pain is so bad that I can't sleep and can barely move my lower body.
I've been doing ok about not craving any pills and only take the minimum I can when the pain is unbearable so they havent given me any euphoric feelings or made me want to take more for "fun"
I've had to take about 2 percs a day for the past three days usually 1 in the morning and 1 at night.
When this started I had almost 40 days clean then I had to take a couple a day for a few days then was able to stop for a week with no problems but had to start taking a couple a day again starting a few days ago when the attack flared up and started in my other knee.
I'm angry that I had to use some after I had 40 days off and was feeling great that way but I've never had pain like this before.
I'm not as worried about the mental part when this passes and I can stop again but I'm worried about having physical withdrawals again and am mad I have to start all over.
I'll probably have to go back to the ER again today because I can't get in to see my reg Doctor and I've finished all the antibiotics and steroids and other meds they gave me and it hasnt gone away yet.
Sorry for the huge post and any mistakes, I wasnt able to sleep at all last night.
I'll try an update this post more often and hopefully soon I'll get to report that I've felt well enough to stop the pain med again
I've had to take more pain pills but still not as much as I was prescribed,
I've tried my hardest to get by on ibuprofen when I can but the pain is so bad that I can't sleep and can barely move my lower body.
I've been doing ok about not craving any pills and only take the minimum I can when the pain is unbearable so they havent given me any euphoric feelings or made me want to take more for "fun"
I've had to take about 2 percs a day for the past three days usually 1 in the morning and 1 at night.
When this started I had almost 40 days clean then I had to take a couple a day for a few days then was able to stop for a week with no problems but had to start taking a couple a day again starting a few days ago when the attack flared up and started in my other knee.
I'm angry that I had to use some after I had 40 days off and was feeling great that way but I've never had pain like this before.
I'm not as worried about the mental part when this passes and I can stop again but I'm worried about having physical withdrawals again and am mad I have to start all over.
I'll probably have to go back to the ER again today because I can't get in to see my reg Doctor and I've finished all the antibiotics and steroids and other meds they gave me and it hasnt gone away yet.
Sorry for the huge post and any mistakes, I wasnt able to sleep at all last night.
I'll try an update this post more often and hopefully soon I'll get to report that I've felt well enough to stop the pain med again