i'm losing touch with everyone, i am disconnected from all i used to know, i know what alone is now, today, every day and night. I can't talk about this, explain it, reason it out. i'm tired, i can't sleep, i wanna speak, but there is no one and no words.
I don't know what i'm doing, i'm teasing, insulting, testing, pushing, tasting, no, not that, not yet, i am not even looking for something different, but i'm hoping, it's looking for me.
I am jealous of silence, of not knowing, what he does with his time, of the friends online, the girls who's flame burns brighter than mine... i am envious of tomorrow, another day denied at my side, i am turning, my head, and see nothing but the past.
i want to bleed myself dry...
i hear the voices in pain, all the time, i hate AOL for bringing the instant messang, of bad news, breaking my heart. I can't cry, i can't think, i can't figure this shit out, i don't know what comes next, what i've done, to lead here, apologies are all i hear, and contradictions, i love yous and goodbye, i can't even tell the difference of his truths and his lies.
I try to think of someone else, it doesn't work this time, time is running out, i don't know what i'm supposed to do before it's gone, and i don't want this, my life.
i don't dream anymore, that i can remember, i don't sleep long enough, i don't see the purpose of any day, everyday, i am so out of tune, out of touch, like i mentioned before.
nothing i once called mine permeates through my skin, it has become stone cold metal, like the razors i pushed in, i have to pee and i hate it, cause i don't have the drive, to do anything more, than sleep away thoughts, but i can't not at night...
i want to call him and scream, but all had been said, i want to be able to breathe, when i lay on my bed, i want everyone to suddenly understand, everything i've ever said.
i want to talk pretty now.
i want this to be over like never before, i want my existance to cease to exist, for my teeth to liberate my fist, and i wanna cry, because i don't want to die, i want to skip the process instead, i want to just be dead.
I don't know what i'm doing, i'm teasing, insulting, testing, pushing, tasting, no, not that, not yet, i am not even looking for something different, but i'm hoping, it's looking for me.
I am jealous of silence, of not knowing, what he does with his time, of the friends online, the girls who's flame burns brighter than mine... i am envious of tomorrow, another day denied at my side, i am turning, my head, and see nothing but the past.
i want to bleed myself dry...
i hear the voices in pain, all the time, i hate AOL for bringing the instant messang, of bad news, breaking my heart. I can't cry, i can't think, i can't figure this shit out, i don't know what comes next, what i've done, to lead here, apologies are all i hear, and contradictions, i love yous and goodbye, i can't even tell the difference of his truths and his lies.
I try to think of someone else, it doesn't work this time, time is running out, i don't know what i'm supposed to do before it's gone, and i don't want this, my life.
i don't dream anymore, that i can remember, i don't sleep long enough, i don't see the purpose of any day, everyday, i am so out of tune, out of touch, like i mentioned before.
nothing i once called mine permeates through my skin, it has become stone cold metal, like the razors i pushed in, i have to pee and i hate it, cause i don't have the drive, to do anything more, than sleep away thoughts, but i can't not at night...
i want to call him and scream, but all had been said, i want to be able to breathe, when i lay on my bed, i want everyone to suddenly understand, everything i've ever said.
i want to talk pretty now.
i want this to be over like never before, i want my existance to cease to exist, for my teeth to liberate my fist, and i wanna cry, because i don't want to die, i want to skip the process instead, i want to just be dead.
