The Shadow Self
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2013
- Messages
- 655
Hi Guys,
Never thought I'd be writing on this board, but I find myself in a tough spot that I got myself into.
I, foolishly, got myself addicted to B-F. For the last couple of months, I had ordered multiple grams and quickly
built a tolerance. I started taking small amounts ( a few milligrams ) and after a couple of months, I was dosing
about 5 mgs ever hour or hour and 1/2, just because I could. As I started to get more addicted, I start feeling shittier and shittier, and there was basically no euphoria anymore. What I ended up with is just taking it to avoid withdrawals which, at first, I'd start to feel after an hour or so because it's so short acting. It has been nothing but misery, and I decided to taper with what I have left. I have been tapering for about a month, and I have at least gotten to the point where I am stretching the doses out longer and longer, hoping that I can simply slowly reduce the amount of this nasty fucking chemical in my body. I just can't tell you how miserable it is, and the wd's are just horrible.
I was addicted to morphine about 20 years ago, and I can tell you this is every bit as bad, if not worse because it
is so short acting. The only good thing, like I said, is that I am up to about 4 to 5 hours between small doses before
I start to go into wd's, which again, are fucking insane. I feel so weak and hopeless, like this will never end. Also,
I am going through a divorce and have been depressed anyway, and I have an 8 year old daughter. To be honest,
while I do want off this shit for me, it's also for my daughter who I love more than anything. Ever.
Anyway, can someone please tell me that if I keep going, keep cutting back, I can get to the point where I don't go
into wd's? Can't sleep, sweaty, then cold, feel like shit, you know the drill. It sucks, and I wish I never made this mistake, but I have to make it right.
I guess I am just trying to reach out to ask the community for a word or two, and to tell anyone, DON"T get yourself
addicted to this fucking chemical. I knew what I was doing, and I knowingly fucked up. Now, I just want my life back. I can't go CT because I work for a living as a therapist and I am trying my ass off to make it through the days, but it is so hard and days hours seem like days. This has been one of the worst things I've ever done,
and like I said...take it from me. DON'T get involved in these Fent analogs...it is just. not. worth it.
Anyway, anyone with any experience with getting off these fents that can tell me something good? That I CAN taper? That at some point, I WILL reduce the amount of B-F in my body so that I can just have a day, a magic day, where I will be able to go for 10, 12, 14 hours (ultimately 24) where I don't have WD's?
Thanks for any feedback.
Never thought I'd be writing on this board, but I find myself in a tough spot that I got myself into.
I, foolishly, got myself addicted to B-F. For the last couple of months, I had ordered multiple grams and quickly
built a tolerance. I started taking small amounts ( a few milligrams ) and after a couple of months, I was dosing
about 5 mgs ever hour or hour and 1/2, just because I could. As I started to get more addicted, I start feeling shittier and shittier, and there was basically no euphoria anymore. What I ended up with is just taking it to avoid withdrawals which, at first, I'd start to feel after an hour or so because it's so short acting. It has been nothing but misery, and I decided to taper with what I have left. I have been tapering for about a month, and I have at least gotten to the point where I am stretching the doses out longer and longer, hoping that I can simply slowly reduce the amount of this nasty fucking chemical in my body. I just can't tell you how miserable it is, and the wd's are just horrible.
I was addicted to morphine about 20 years ago, and I can tell you this is every bit as bad, if not worse because it
is so short acting. The only good thing, like I said, is that I am up to about 4 to 5 hours between small doses before
I start to go into wd's, which again, are fucking insane. I feel so weak and hopeless, like this will never end. Also,
I am going through a divorce and have been depressed anyway, and I have an 8 year old daughter. To be honest,
while I do want off this shit for me, it's also for my daughter who I love more than anything. Ever.
Anyway, can someone please tell me that if I keep going, keep cutting back, I can get to the point where I don't go
into wd's? Can't sleep, sweaty, then cold, feel like shit, you know the drill. It sucks, and I wish I never made this mistake, but I have to make it right.
I guess I am just trying to reach out to ask the community for a word or two, and to tell anyone, DON"T get yourself
addicted to this fucking chemical. I knew what I was doing, and I knowingly fucked up. Now, I just want my life back. I can't go CT because I work for a living as a therapist and I am trying my ass off to make it through the days, but it is so hard and days hours seem like days. This has been one of the worst things I've ever done,
and like I said...take it from me. DON'T get involved in these Fent analogs...it is just. not. worth it.
Anyway, anyone with any experience with getting off these fents that can tell me something good? That I CAN taper? That at some point, I WILL reduce the amount of B-F in my body so that I can just have a day, a magic day, where I will be able to go for 10, 12, 14 hours (ultimately 24) where I don't have WD's?
Thanks for any feedback.

