ice-9
Bluelight Crew
True story.
There was this one girl at school; you know the one i'm talking about. That one girl. She always
had her hair perfectly cascade down her shoulders like the Angel Falls at twilight. Raven coloured streams would bounce off her shoulders and you could do nothing but get lost in their folds. Her eyes would capture the stars, her smile would reflect the sun...
..and her walk? That was something entirely unto itself.
I always passed her in the hallways, and an hour later I would find that i'd still be thinking about her. What is she doing right now? Does she have a boyfriend? Do you think she noticed me? Would she be thinking about me too? Of course not. Get a grip man, she doesn't even know your name. But you never know, and hope is the great equalizer, baby. Be realistic. Right now, your hope is taking a ride on the euphoria boxcar of the delusion train. And so on and so forth, I would have this ridiculous internal dialogue with myself. This would happen every few days. Not everyday, mind you. Sometimes I didn't see her. But those days just didn't seem as complete, you know?
The first day our eyes met, I did what any man in my position would do. I walked straight up to her, took a deep breath, and promptly made my way into the bathroom to take a piss. Hey, I had a jumbo coke that morning and all that nervousness gets to you. But she actually looked at me! She looked! At me! Not through me! Man, I was pathetic. The next couple of days were spent trying to accidentally cross our paths in the hallways. Of course, every time she gave me a glance, I would look for that invisible mosquito flying around my head. You know, the one that you look for when you break a vase and your parents ask which one of you did it. The one you look for when someone asks you if you are busy and if you aren't can you please take out the trash. The one you look at when you’re in the doctor’s office with no magazines to read. Yeah, that mosquito. The bugger always seems to come at the most opportune times.
This continued for a few more days until Thursday. I think it was a Thursday. Or was it Wednesday? Anyway, that doesn't matter now. I was following the same routine, and knew she would be going to her next class at this certain time. Of course I just happened to be walking in the same hall, innocent as a toddler with a permanent marker. I didn’t see her yet, so I decided to re-tie my shoe. I figured it’ll kill some time and I won’t look like an idiot standing by myself, looking at that damned mosquito. I must have miscalculated. Before I knew it the hall was empty and everyone had gone to their classes. I painstakingly stood up and turned around to accept defeat. And then I saw her. Just standing there. Looking at me. With those eyes. And that smile. And sugar hills peaking out from under her white blouse…
Don’t look there you fucking idiot! Back to her eyes, now!
“errr, uhhh, can I help you?”
What the fuck kind of line was that? I sounded like an eighty-three year old man who hadn’t worked in two decades, going back as a Wal-Mart greeter.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could help you. [flashes her smile] I haven’t seen you but a few times before, and everytime I run into you, you’re looking around like you’re lost.”
Stupid, invisible mosquito. God bless your little heart.
Things picked up from there. We started seeing more of each other, and pretty soon we were inseperable. The last year of school came and left, and a month after graduation, I took her to this little beach alcove on the east side of town. It was a beautiful place. The sun always hit the overhanging brush just the right way at three in the afternoon. Colours on flowers danced in your eye, and the breeze would create a kaleidoscope of sunlight at the spot where we had made love many times before. That day, I proposed to her. It was the happiest I had ever been.
After three years, she gave birth to our first son. A year later, we had a beautiful baby girl. The house became alive with their laughter, and Life went on. The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years. The children moved out, and once again we were together in the house alone. It was a lazy Sunday morning, and we had been looking into each other’s eyes for a period of time. Just because we could. The years had been kind to her; the fiery spirit still radiated from every move she made. Her now silvered hair still flowed perfectly around her shoulders. The only difference in her smile came from the laugh lines that had softly etched themselves upon her feathery skin. It gave one the impression that she had more reason to smile now than ever before. Her eyes spoke the story of fulfillment.
I told her I loved her.
My alarm went off. My alarm went off? 10:45am? With tears in my eyes, I dressed up and headed for school. If I hurry, maybe I’ll see her today.
True story.
There was this one girl at school; you know the one i'm talking about. That one girl. She always
had her hair perfectly cascade down her shoulders like the Angel Falls at twilight. Raven coloured streams would bounce off her shoulders and you could do nothing but get lost in their folds. Her eyes would capture the stars, her smile would reflect the sun...
..and her walk? That was something entirely unto itself.
I always passed her in the hallways, and an hour later I would find that i'd still be thinking about her. What is she doing right now? Does she have a boyfriend? Do you think she noticed me? Would she be thinking about me too? Of course not. Get a grip man, she doesn't even know your name. But you never know, and hope is the great equalizer, baby. Be realistic. Right now, your hope is taking a ride on the euphoria boxcar of the delusion train. And so on and so forth, I would have this ridiculous internal dialogue with myself. This would happen every few days. Not everyday, mind you. Sometimes I didn't see her. But those days just didn't seem as complete, you know?
The first day our eyes met, I did what any man in my position would do. I walked straight up to her, took a deep breath, and promptly made my way into the bathroom to take a piss. Hey, I had a jumbo coke that morning and all that nervousness gets to you. But she actually looked at me! She looked! At me! Not through me! Man, I was pathetic. The next couple of days were spent trying to accidentally cross our paths in the hallways. Of course, every time she gave me a glance, I would look for that invisible mosquito flying around my head. You know, the one that you look for when you break a vase and your parents ask which one of you did it. The one you look for when someone asks you if you are busy and if you aren't can you please take out the trash. The one you look at when you’re in the doctor’s office with no magazines to read. Yeah, that mosquito. The bugger always seems to come at the most opportune times.
This continued for a few more days until Thursday. I think it was a Thursday. Or was it Wednesday? Anyway, that doesn't matter now. I was following the same routine, and knew she would be going to her next class at this certain time. Of course I just happened to be walking in the same hall, innocent as a toddler with a permanent marker. I didn’t see her yet, so I decided to re-tie my shoe. I figured it’ll kill some time and I won’t look like an idiot standing by myself, looking at that damned mosquito. I must have miscalculated. Before I knew it the hall was empty and everyone had gone to their classes. I painstakingly stood up and turned around to accept defeat. And then I saw her. Just standing there. Looking at me. With those eyes. And that smile. And sugar hills peaking out from under her white blouse…
Don’t look there you fucking idiot! Back to her eyes, now!
“errr, uhhh, can I help you?”
What the fuck kind of line was that? I sounded like an eighty-three year old man who hadn’t worked in two decades, going back as a Wal-Mart greeter.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could help you. [flashes her smile] I haven’t seen you but a few times before, and everytime I run into you, you’re looking around like you’re lost.”
Stupid, invisible mosquito. God bless your little heart.
Things picked up from there. We started seeing more of each other, and pretty soon we were inseperable. The last year of school came and left, and a month after graduation, I took her to this little beach alcove on the east side of town. It was a beautiful place. The sun always hit the overhanging brush just the right way at three in the afternoon. Colours on flowers danced in your eye, and the breeze would create a kaleidoscope of sunlight at the spot where we had made love many times before. That day, I proposed to her. It was the happiest I had ever been.
After three years, she gave birth to our first son. A year later, we had a beautiful baby girl. The house became alive with their laughter, and Life went on. The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years. The children moved out, and once again we were together in the house alone. It was a lazy Sunday morning, and we had been looking into each other’s eyes for a period of time. Just because we could. The years had been kind to her; the fiery spirit still radiated from every move she made. Her now silvered hair still flowed perfectly around her shoulders. The only difference in her smile came from the laugh lines that had softly etched themselves upon her feathery skin. It gave one the impression that she had more reason to smile now than ever before. Her eyes spoke the story of fulfillment.
I told her I loved her.
My alarm went off. My alarm went off? 10:45am? With tears in my eyes, I dressed up and headed for school. If I hurry, maybe I’ll see her today.
True story.
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