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True happiness

armada1

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 19, 2001
Messages
78
All right. I'm apologizing up front for this but I want to find out if I am wasting my time at all. I want to enter a writing contest online. The topic is to come up with a relationship (friends, romantic, whatever) based journey that could possibly be used online with an issue/installment released on a periodic basis. This is freking long for here but if anyone can get through any or some of it, let me know what you think. Grabs interest? Well written? Would you want to hear more? Couldn't stand it? Stop littering the board with this because it's too long for anyone here to read? Thanks.
It was the day after a self-exploratory journey for PQ and me. It wasn’t the first time we had this type of conversation. You know, the kind where you take a look at every aspect of your life and talk it to death with someone who is doing exactly the same thing and then convince yourselves that if you didn’t have any ambition or self-awareness everything would be ok. But by merely possessing the capacity to have this conversation you both realize that you are doomed because of the desire to achieve, succeed and be truly happy.
Now I’m not talking about achieving and succeeding in a financial sense of the word. It could be in a materialistic sense in that ‘things’ or maybe more accurately, ‘luxuries’ can be enjoyable and help to provide that true happiness. We look at a materialistic world on a daily basis so that is the world we know and recognize that some of these ‘things’ would be fun to have. We were interested in true contentment and happiness. If ‘things’ were a part of that so be it!
Well, we had the several hour long conversation the previous day and then PQ called. He told me that it was time to have some fun. I agreed although thought that it was long overdue. I wasn’t sure what PQ had in mind or what ‘fun’ actually constituted but I surely didn’t want to once again reflect on my desire for happiness only to believe that it wasn’t attainable, as mediocratic was NOT acceptable.
Real quickly, PQ and I have known each other for a long time. We are great friends and have had many good times together. Our lives have been pretty easy and while there were touches of tragedy for each of us, nothing completely debilitating. We have been through a lot together. Again, not through a lot in terms of personal tragedy or anything, just the stresses, pressures, ideas, joys and experiences that one goes through by making decisions, interacting with others and living life. And of course there were our soul-searching talks with all the frustrations, sarcasms, whining and self-pitying. We both had our strengths and un-strengths (we really didn’t possess weaknesses) and could usually recognize the absurdity of the world around us.
It was this recognition and acknowledgement of absurdity that was of particular amusement and commonality to us. We were on the phone once. His house overlooked a fairly busy street. He interrupted our conversation with the following:
‘Hey. There’s this guy riding his bike outside and I think he’s going to get smashed by a car. He’s kind of half in the road and half on the shoulder. It’s pretty weird he would keep riding like that. There have been like 5 cars that have almost nailed him. Here comes one more. Oh yeah. He just got nailed.”
He was very calm and said this very matter of fact in his play-by-play. He said it didn’t look like the guy got hurt. I was pretty worked up about it but he assured me that it was no big deal. We continued our conversation.
Here’s a transcript from a phone call when we were both at our respective colleges:
PQ: Hello.
Me: Hey Dude.
PQ: Heeeeyyyy, how was your trip to school? Glad to be back?
Me: The trip was ok but I have a story for you about once I got here.
PQ: Cool. What’s up?
Me: This guy burned himself up.
PQ: What? What do you really mean? How’d he do that?
Me: Well, he chained himself to the fence by our soccer field and poured gasoline on himself and then set himself on fire. They had to leave him there for like 2 hours until the state medical examiner could get to the place. All the local news crews had gotten there and had spotlights on him so we went up and took a look.
PQ: Did you know him?
Me: No, he was some guy from the town, not a student.
PQ: That must have looked pretty messed up.
Me: Yeah well, his head was all charred and looked real small but it really looked kind of fake.
PQ: He must have been sad about something.
Me: I guess so.
PQ: Well have a good week but don’t barbeque anything.
Me: All right. I’ll talk to you next weekend.
***Too be continued***
[This message has been edited by armada1 (edited 23 April 2001).]
 
heh. so far this is VERY intersesting to read, i'm enjoying every bit. so....what happens next?
~Pixy
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Craving rave, our souls buy time
To get away from our restless minds.
 
Thanks for the support. Next installment for you:
So we didn’t get crazy about the world around us but we definitely didn’t ignore it. We took it all in, assessed it, bounced it off each other and kept going. We handled what needed to be handled and didn’t dwell on anything. Well, except for the fact that we had periodic conversations about making our lives extraordinary and finding real happiness!
So it was time for fun. As part of our soul-searching talks, we developed the theory that having ‘fun’ or doing ‘fun’ things, whatever they were, is really just an escape from mundane life. However, if you have enough of these escapes, doesn’t the mundanity of one’s life become the exception and not the norm? We recognized this and made every effort to utilize what I will call the ‘Project Anti-Mundanity’ or
Project AM.
Now this can get a bit touchy to manage. I’m sure you can see the obvious conflict between Project AM and getting in over our heads. I mean we want to:
have fun,
enjoy life,
excel,
achieve,
be happy.
We don’t want to:
get into trouble,
hurt ourselves,
hurt other people
basically, push it too far.
It had come to be my role to assess all proposals for Project AM and make a recommendation as to risk factor. This role bears a lot of responsibility and also runs the risk of being labeled a killjoy, stick in the mud, uptight, wimp, wuss, pussy and any other nomenclature associated with shooting down potential fun in favor of common sense and rationale. This rarely resulted in any tension between us (or the others we were spending time with) which was a testament to the respect that we shared for each other.
There was a confrontation between PQ and me once though. We laugh about it now and did even soon after it occurred. The fact that I can recall it as the one time that PQ and I had this type of confrontation is a source of pride and illustration of the mutual respect that we have for each other.
A word of caution before I get into my description of the incident. This particular incident happened during events that were typical in our lives at the time. It would be easy for someone that was living the same type of life, participating in the same activities to picture, however on the whole, the description would be boring and irrelevant to most. I am therefore translating or better yet, transforming the description into a symbolic representation for descriptive, comprehension and entertainment purposes. I promise that I will not distort the confrontation though.
 
BLown Away......Well, very Impressed any way.......keep it coming, i'm hooked.
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"..I didn't Rob Anbody, Didn't Rape anybody, Didn't Kill anybody, didn't loose....hmmm 1 f-u-c-k-i-n-g job, Laughed My Ass off and went about my Day..."
 
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