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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Trouble w/ IV coke MERGED

^What he said.

Also beware, well it doesn't sound like you've been doing it for that long but, eventually the comedown isn't just exhaustion/feeling shitty from exhaustion and low glucose but a bipolar-type syndrome complete with swings of hypomania and extreme lethargy. This goes away with time but its why most people choose to get on meds etc and also why its such a prone to relapse drug... hypomania = relapse to feel even GREATER plus your impulses are disinhibited... depression = use something else and then all of a sudden feeling "normal" and wanting to top up again with some coke... i dont know man, it is really a bad thing to keep doing, just stop now while its not too late yet.

Plus theres also the thing of, if you go hard like that for a month, take a month or 2 off, go hard again for a month etc. It might not be noticable for years but eventually that shit wears down on the mind and its even WORSE then when youd go on massive binges in the beginning, except there is no clear beginning or end..

Get help... not sure whats available in Egypt but even self prescribing something like Ritalin would help(so long as u dont end up IV'ing it, in which case its comparitavely just as terrible)
 
Cocaine is more mentally addictive rather than physically. While a user experiences withdrawals it only lasts a few hours after use is discontinued.

You can become obsessed with needles and their high though. It is difficult to stop needle use so the sooner in life you quit that habit the better off you will be. People inject water just to use a needle.

If you've read threads about people who've used IV for years then hopefully it's not a place you want to go with your life. You have control until suddenly you don't and then it's too late and quitting will be far more difficult.

Good luck OP!
 
I'm posting this humbly and looking for help or support from somewhere.
I was shooting molly for 6 months, got all messed up and had to check into a 28-day rehab. The day before I left i started mainlining crack (broken down and reconstituted to cocaine via acidic solution).
I banged right up until the driver for the treatement center came to pick me up, and i left about one shots worth at my apartment.
For 28 days I thought about that tiny little bit of cocaine I had left. It was the first thing I thought about when I woke up the last thing I thought about when I went to bed and sometimes almost every thought in between. Some days it got a little easier and I believed the NA meetings, that I was participating in, were starting to work.

December 11th I got out, got home, and didn't last two mins. I went right to the rock I had left over. As if I hadn't just spent a month getting better, stronger, and healthier. I've been banging crack every day since, with the exception of three days around Christmas with my family. I got back from that Christmas trip and again that same hour I returned, I used again.

Look... this isn't my first rodeo.
I've been high since 7. Name a drug, I've done it for at least six months at a time.
I've been using drugs for 21 years, with a 2 year hiatus in my early twenties. But my addictions have come and gone. When I knew it was over it was over.

Im at the point in this binge where I spent my last $20 on my dealers scraped resin from his stem, so im now banging brown burnt powdered crack (Which by the way... shooting resin is like crack on steroids.) Miss that shit and itll be a guaranteed abscess. My arms are trashed, so every now and then i have to hit my neck. I couldn't pay rent so I'm being evicted Jan 1st. I owe money left and right. My life is a federal fuckin tragedy.

This isnt the first time I've had a hardcore, life draining, bank account mangling, vein-vanishing, IV coke habit. But this is the first time I haven't been able to shake it off. I could use some help.
 
I'm sorry you are going through this. I completely understand. I used my last $40 to buy some crack. Now I don't have money for food. Literally I have $1 to my name and I can't afford to eat for the next 3 days. It's a crazy drug. But hold on tight. You can do it. One day I'll do it too. For now, be kind to yourself. You are a good human being and you are important. I know it's overwhelming. But it will get better. Just breath.
 
Hey BigWolf, I think the biggest danger for you right now is the despair that comes from the precariousness of your life--not having rent, not having money. Can you get back into a rehab or is that out of reach?

Does your family know about your addiction?
 
Wtf dude, i spent years on black and clear and thst was confetti compared to this beast. Dont get me wrong, kicking heroin took 9 years but I'm almost at 2. Then about 2 week's ago my friends randomly found like 4 grams of high purity crack on the ground (like, wtf???) and anyways, these lot wouldn't know how to use a sewing needle, let alone iv a drug... crack at that. But i couldn't just be like, "ill take it!" .. not one person of like 6 had any interest in burning rock, not my fav either, but i couldn't let it go to waste... so i did what any degenerate who knows his way around a kitchen would do.. i dissolved it in vinegar, evaporated into cocaine acetate and we partied off that. It was ridiculously powerful but it did something to me that reawakened a beast inside me.

I never used to be a coke guy. Let alone a crack guy, but im a major needle guy. I hung it up for 2 years but in the aftermath of that total waste of base cocaine ive been shooting a gram a day, barring today. I ate some xanax and went to my first NA meeting in almost a year. Felt good but that only lasted until i got home and before bed tried rinsing every cotton, spoon and bag i had, to no avail (which i knew would happen)... but i still had to do it because I'm not a cocaine addict. Shooting that stuff either terrifies me or disappoints me and it's expensive as hell. Im a full blown needle addict, i.d.c if it's heroin, meth or coke, if it dissolves and is of reasonable quality, i want it. Seeing that blood plume is the high right there. Sounds crazy but I'm 100% true.
I once shot fuckin ambien. Lemme tell u, if you like being confused and dizzy, have i got the drug for you!

But seriously, I'm only lined 2 week's into iv injecting again, wont touch opiates, hate meth and coke but at leastcoke wears off faster, albeit hell without landing gear. Anyways, i have a sponsor now, my truck is running and job prospects look good (if only
These janky fuckin contractors would pay up!) I need to move asap, i live in s party house but its like normal gentile parties, nobody is fixing up but me.

Anyways, wah wah wah, my question is this. How the fuck do u put that needle down? I swear it's the needle and not the drug. I dont enjoy it, its shameful, expensive, illegal, makes me isolate... its god awful and terrible for your health... yet still its reiginig at the number 1 spot on my priorities hierarchy.

How the fuck did you do it? I have zero control. Heroin made sense to me; i loved it and needed it. This couldn't be further from that. I get a minute of enjoyable terror with auditory hallucinations and then i get to tweek hard ad for like 2 hours, showering and smoking half cigs and pacing around, playing guitar and reading. Hopefully my sponsor knows the life.

Any and all input is welcome. Thanks guys and stay safe!
 
LavalampBarrels said:
Wtf dude, i spent years on black and clear and thst was confetti compared to this beast. Dont get me wrong, kicking heroin took 9 years but I'm almost at 2. Then about 2 week's ago my friends randomly found like 4 grams of high purity crack on the ground (like, wtf???) and anyways, these lot wouldn't know how to use a sewing needle, let alone iv a drug... crack at that. But i couldn't just be like, "ill take it!" .. not one person of like 6 had any interest in burning rock, not my fav either, but i couldn't let it go to waste... so i did what any degenerate who knows his way around a kitchen would do.. i dissolved it in vinegar, evaporated into cocaine acetate and we partied off that. It was ridiculously powerful but it did something to me that reawakened a beast inside me.

I never used to be a coke guy. Let alone a crack guy, but im a major needle guy. I hung it up for 2 years but in the aftermath of that total waste of base cocaine ive been shooting a gram a day, barring today. I ate some xanax and went to my first NA meeting in almost a year. Felt good but that only lasted until i got home and before bed tried rinsing every cotton, spoon and bag i had, to no avail (which i knew would happen)... but i still had to do it because I'm not a cocaine addict. Shooting that stuff either terrifies me or disappoints me and it's expensive as hell. Im a full blown needle addict, i.d.c if it's heroin, meth or coke, if it dissolves and is of reasonable quality, i want it. Seeing that blood plume is the high right there. Sounds crazy but I'm 100% true.
I once shot fuckin ambien. Lemme tell u, if you like being confused and dizzy, have i got the drug for you!

But seriously, I'm only lined 2 week's into iv injecting again, wont touch opiates, hate meth and coke but at leastcoke wears off faster, albeit hell without landing gear. Anyways, i have a sponsor now, my truck is running and job prospects look good (if only
These janky fuckin contractors would pay up!) I need to move asap, i live in s party house but its like normal gentile parties, nobody is fixing up but me.

Anyways, wah wah wah, my question is this. How the fuck do u put that needle down? I swear it's the needle and not the drug. I dont enjoy it, its shameful, expensive, illegal, makes me isolate... its god awful and terrible for your health... yet still its reiginig at the number 1 spot on my priorities hierarchy.

How the fuck did you do it? I have zero control. Heroin made sense to me; i loved it and needed it. This couldn't be further from that. I get a minute of enjoyable terror with auditory hallucinations and then i get to tweek hard ad for like 2 hours, showering and smoking half cigs and pacing around, playing guitar and reading. Hopefully my sponsor knows the life.

Any and all input is welcome. Thanks guys and stay safe!
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I did it! Never thought i could but its about 5y give or take now BUT i have shitty veins.
When around 30 my gf was a nurse so i just held my arm in her direction and she really knew how too. Also noticed first my blood thickens very fast. She went, the needle didnt. Groin i never wanted to even start. So i quit cuz sitting around for hours, blood everywhere, just no vein was no fun at all.
I did relapse after finding a deep vein under the biceps. But i always had to go in blind at a direct angle, hittin artery few times and nerve twice made me stop. Now they have to use ultrasonic if they want a blood test. When in hospital last time i lovingly looked at the vein catheder but cuz of Covid nobody could come visit me. I can feel your desire and having those ropy veins surely doesnt help. Can only tell you my story but whatever you do, save one in case of emergency!!!!
 
LavalampBarrels said:
How the fuck did you do it?
Click to expand...

Good question. It took me 8 months in the hospital, three open heart surgeries due to endocarditis and complete heart block with a dual chamber pacemaker to finally stop, amongst permanently collapsing every single major superficial vein in my upper and lower extremities. I was even shooting into my PICC line in the hospital before my third open heart surgery with orange juice to break it down (reinfected myself immediately with two separate bacterial blood infections and a fungal blood infection), honestly I think when they cut my SA Node and caused total heart block is what finally disabled me to the point where I couldn’t continue. In a sense, it was the worst thing to ever to happen to me, yet the best because I likely would not be here if I could have physically been capable of continuing to IV cocaine.

Long story short, IV cocaine is not a viable, long-term viable route of administration for cocaine.
 
I was never a huge fan of the needle, but I didn’t want to waste my Opana and Dilaudid. The thing that stopped me was 3 seizures, 1 mitral valve replacement, and 2 months in the hospital and nursing home. Never touched the needle again.
 
Welcome to BL.

Can get really ugly quick. Coke is a battle against the pure psychological addiction. No physical dependence to muddy things. What is your addiction cycle looking like, or how long does it take for you to go from I’m never doing that again to at it again?
 
neversickanymore said:
Welcome to BL.

Can get really ugly quick. Coke is a battle against the pure psychological addiction. No physical dependence to muddy things. What is your addiction cycle looking like, or how long does it take for you to go from I’m never doing that again to at it again?
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It goes from me calling my best plug, who's currently unavailable , to me trying to pass a little of the time talking to my sponsor.. and other, lesser, lamer plugs. Basically im in "read in bed" mode until some boulders get delivered. Then ill be in "why, again?" mode, pacing around the house for a few hours, trying to play cool.

Usually, ill come up w some justification to not save any for tomorrow (actually smart, waking up clean and not throwing the monkey backpack on immediately makes life much more enjoyable and less coke obsessive) . Typically buying by the gram, sometimes the ball (yeah, those last longer than a day) of decent gear, i mean i overshot my dose a tiny bit and was on all fours w no motor control, trying to open the bathroom door so my roommates could see i was fucked and i couldn't even articulate that simple motor movement to reach the knob. Its wad scary af, i remember saying, "holy fuck" and i couldnt even hear my own voice. Just RINGING!

Oddly enough, with a satisfying hit i can hold off a few hours before the veins start talking shit again. Then i can usually go a day, but usually wont. Hopefully this new entry into na and sponsorship will help but id put his ass on hold instantly if my coke girl was on the other line..... such a weird addiction. I truly only enjoy the taste and ring... and of course the blood (in the rig, not all over my arms and what i call my "blood towel")
 
Alright, so your around a day. I would guess that you agree this level of use is not sustainable and will fuck you proper?

So how do you get to something sustainable?
 
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I'm not going to pretend that I've done it cause I haven't. But my boyfriend has.

How did he stop? He saw his ex-girlfriend have a seizure and die right in front of him shooting coke. She bit her tongue off and made a pool of blood. He didn't know what to do, she died right then and there and he ran before paramedics came. He's still shook up to this day about it and won't talk about it to anyone about it. Except once to me on acid. I can't imagine seeing someone you love have a fucking seizure, eyes roll back into their head, blood spurting out of their mouth, body convulsing, and die. All within five minuets is all it takes.

I'm an EMT and it's a fucking thin line between what your heart can take IV. Snorting gives your heart time, IV does not. It's all sweet sweet euphoria until your sitting in a pool of your blood with paramedics counting your official time of death.

I say this not to scare you but to give you a realistic interpretation of what happens. As an EMT I've seen a couple cases of this and it is not pretty.
 
ashwolf22101 said:
can't imagine seeing someone you love have a fucking seizure, eyes roll back into their head, blood spurting out of their mouth, body convulsing, and die. All within five minuets is all it takes.
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I've witnessed close friends die in this manner, but I can't even fathom the person I love. Someone very close to me watched the one they loved overdose and die, and it was enough for them to go from being homeless and lost in life to getting treatment and being completely clean.

It always happens so insanely quick, it's almost unreal. One second everything is fine and the next a human life is gone.
 
Deru said:
It always happens so insanely quick, it's almost unreal. One second everything is fine and the next a human life is gone.
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Absolutely correct. It's surreal. Think about how much it takes for a life to be created. All the things that have to happen, everything that needs to perfectly match up (Biochemistry major here). It's such a shame to see a life disappear so quickly.
 
The trouble with presenting a horrible death, in an argument like you are, is that does not effect people and especially people facing addiction. People going into surgery in the US are given the statistics of death, but I doubt it ever much registers as its going to be them potentially. You guys are presenting gory death as if it will prevent a targeted behavior. Why?
 
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neversickanymore said:
The trouble with presenting a horrible death, in an argument like you are, is that does not effect people and especially people facing addiction. People going into surgery in the US are given the statistics of death, but I doubt it ever much registers as its going to be them personally. You guys are presenting gory death as if it will prevent a targeted behavior. Why?
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I was mainly responding to witnessing said deaths, as that undeniably has an impact. Most of those moments will forever be burned into my mind, I can never unexperience, unwitness or unlive those moments.

In terms of harm reduction, isn’t it a valid discussion? It may very well not prevent a targeted behavior, but it may make someone more mindful and potentially adjust a variety of behavior that would indeed reduce harm.

In regards to people going into surgery, usually a doctor has already determined reward outweighs risk, so it’s a carefully calculated decision to proceed with surgery and for most people, they trust doctors and their treatments.

With all that said, it may very well have little benefit in terms of harm reduction, but isn’t the entire reality of addiction, to begin with?
 
@Deru

Its absolutely a valid discussion and its intentions are the very best. We just don't seem to alter our long term behavior much because of negative results especially when the reward pathway is hacked. I think we are influenced more by perceived positive results then we are of negative in the long run. Fear though is one of our strongest emotions and is tightly aligned with memory and emotionally driven future behavior. How much this can be influenced by even the best advice would be interesting.
 
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That’s a valid point, once the reward pathway was rewired badly enough, I was operating on some primitive level where the drugs seemed to surpass my perceived priority for oxygen, let alone food, water, or self care.

I actually remember explaining to people in the hospital that the drugs were just as important as oxygen was to me, it was like an essential and necessary part of life, without them I ceased to be able to function and would die due to that inability.
 
@neversickanymore

This portion of your post:
I think we are influenced more by perceived positive results then we are of negative in the long run. Fear though is one of our strongest emotions and is tightly aligned with memory and emotionally driven future behavior. How much this can be influenced by even the best advice would be interesting.
Click to expand...

really had me thinking today. I wonder if there is any data available to show that advice given stressing the positives of sobriety or harm reduction are more successful than highlighting the negatives. In my experience, and after doing some further self-reflection, I would tend to strongly agree with what you’ve said here.
 
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